07 February 2011

Monday Musings...






Necessity IS (still) the Mother of Invention.
Our nation was built upon such thinking, and it's done all right by us.
Find an honest need, and then make something to fill that need.
That's what the people asked for...and received.
Whether it was the incandescent light bulb, or the sewing machine, or the television, or even the mass-produced automobile...America was there.
Gotta love true innovation.
*** With that in mind, we did have an interesting week, weather-wise. (helluva segue, don'cha think?)
Even the last 48 hours saw about an ADDITIONAL 5-7 inches added to the 12 (or so) inches we received LAST week.
Some people were bitching a fit to the local weather people...and it's not really their fault.
Storms can take a turn here and there that even the predicted "models" can't skull out...that's the way Mother Nature is...likes to keep 'ya guessin'.
I mean, it IS HER PLANET, right? We're just all along for the "ride" as it were.
So that meant more shoveling for "you-know-who" around OUR house.
It does grate on one's nerves...after a while.
With cities shut down as we had here last week, we all had some time to THINK...down time - idle time - time to kill....(hmmm).
And let's face it, we've had one hellacious winter SO far, right? (except if you're living the good life in Boca Raton)
When you wind up with so much cold weather and so much shoveling that needs to be done (after it's already BEEN done several times), what would possibly make this laborious task go a lot easier...and even add an element of "fun" into the mix?
That's when I had one of those moments of clarity.
You could practically hear the Hallelujah Chorus in the background.
I immediately went onto the Internet to see if my epiphany had been tried before.
And I was amazed to find that it WAS NOT!
I could not find it anywhere, and I scanned through a LOT of entries and photos. Fantastic...here I have a chance to sincerely "reinvent the wheel", as it were.
I mean, everyone else seems to be doing it...and with a lot LESS success than I potentially have on MY 58 year old hands, I can tell you.
Now if I may, allow me to take a few lines from the first IRON MAN movie (paraphrased) to fit my specific venue:
"They say...the best tool is the one you NEVER have to use. I respectfully disagree. The BEST tool is the one you only have to use...ONCE. That's the way our forefathers did it, that's the way America does it...and it's worked pretty well so far".
With that said...I, the chief cook, bottle-washer and jack of all trades proudly present to YOU, the people who can TRULY find the perfect use for this ground-breaking and utilitarian item that NO household should EVER be without (especially in colder climates)...
The SHOTGUN-SHOVEL!













(or SHOVEGUNEL...your choice...name's not set-in-stone yet)
Imagine an eight pound, 12 gauge, snow-removing can of whoop-ass at YOUR disposal.
If you're busy cleaning your driveway, and some would-be perp with a grudge against humanity in general and you in particular, is wanting to "make your day"...you can now make HIS DAY (end) a lot faster, and NEVER miss a beat while getting that snow off of your property!
Imagine the respect you will command when YOU go out to "clean up", hmm?
This baby takes snow-removal to that NEXT level...of security!
And it's perfectly LEGAL in most all the 48 contiguous states (and definitely in Alaska).
Now, this isn't some photo-shopped POS...this IS the "real deal".
Currently in "prototype" status, I'm sure this could start rolling out into production as soon as some entrepreneur sees the VALUE in owning such a useful tool.
Let's see Paul Helmke piss and moan at THIS, huh?
This is something even RED-GREEN hasn't come up with.
And NOT ONE BIT of DUCT TAPE (aka the handyman's secret weapon) was used in this process!
Goes to show that when a need arises, someone will come along and not only MEET that need...but EXCEED it, right?
Think of the applications that LAW-ENFORCEMENT (alone) could have with this...
Help dig out a "stranded motorist" AND place him/her under arrest for DUI in ONE smooth move...amazing, huh?
Or...you could be digging out and see a flock of geese flying overhead...BOOM! - INSTANT DINNER that comes RIGHT TO YOU...with NO delivery charge, rather than trudging out in bad weather for a meal. Who needs "take out" NOW, right?
And with a quick turn of the "handle", this tool can be adapted with several OTHER "add-on devices" such as a HOE BLADE...a LEAF RAKE, or even a LAWN EDGER. Now I ask you...HOW frigging USEFUL is THAT, hmm?
A truly YEAR-ROUND tool that NO home (in the hood) should EVER be without!
(especially if your neighborhood is becoming or has become a ghettohood)
This WILL keep ANY and ALL "critters" AT BAY...guaranteed!
See...we here at the Bobby G. "Fortress of Reason" (R&D division) are never-ending in our quest to make YOUR lives truly BETTER.
(and for a LOT LESS scratch than our government)
Okay, now that I've solved one of life's problems, time to move onward...
Let's see what else has been happening.
Have a couple random observations...
*** If you're like ME...you like spaghetti...a LOT.
And you also probably enjoy making your OWN sauce (just like Mom used to).
To me, there are few things better than having the aroma of slowly cooking sauce wafting through the house on a Sunday...that's what it was like in OUR house at least ONE Sunday a month.
So, when you bop out to the grocery, you get the needed ingredients FOR that sauce.
But NOW, you have to check the can labels CAREFULLY.
When you go and grab two cans of plain old "tomato sauce", be sure you don't get one of those NEW cans...
The cans that say HOT - MEXICAN STYLE!
(WTF????)
I didn't even KNOW they made this...until THIS week. I thought MEXICAN STYLE was relegated to TACO SAUCE or enchilada seasonings...
Whose "brilliant" idea was THIS?
And WHY did they place these cans RIGHT NEXT to the "regular" and TRADITIONAL AMERICAN (or Italian) SAUCE???
Besides, don't they usually have that "ETHNIC" FOODS AISLE separate from ALL the other aisles?
Believe me, this tomato sauce IS hot, and would go well when making salsa.
But it's not "MY" tomato sauce....word to the wise.
Watch the aisles...look to the labels. You might be grabbing something you "thought" was ONE type of sauce, when it's something completely different.
*** Lastly today, Sunday marked the 100th birthday of the late President Ronald Reagan, and they had a centennial memorial service at his library in Simi Valley, CA.
I have to say it was a very moving event, and took me back to those days in the 1980s when a guy like ME could buy a new car (such as a Firebird) for about $11,000.00, because we could AFFORD it! We had the money in OUR pockets to make our economy grow, instead of having our money in the government's pockets to waste on people such as my lazy-ass "neighbors", who wouldn't know HOW to be productive if their lives depended on it.
Inflation was held to a minimum, communism was dispelled in Russia, and things were looking pretty damn good (imho).
During the ceremony of the color guard at the Reagan grave site, there was one black female who was one of a pair of marines placing a wreath at the site, and while they fired off a 21 gun salute, if you looked closely at her face as she stood nearby at attention, there was a line down her cheek tracing some tears she obviously shed. The camera was only on her for a second or two, but THAT picture told me a LOT more than many of the speakers in attendance.
Here's the link to the video:
http://nation.foxnews.com/media/2011/02/06/us-marine-cries-during-21-gun-salute-ronald-reagan#
It's a damn shame my Dad wasn't alive to enjoy the Reagan years (Dad passed in Feb 1978, on THIS very day...I remember the cold snowy weather THEN, too). I think he would have found them good times for everyone, and thought Reagan was one of the better Presidents in our lifetimes.
At least those times were a lot better than what is being thrown about us these days.
I think I would like to have some of those years back.
Maybe those years weren't perfect, but we didn't wake up each day with the Sword of Damocles hanging over this nation's proverbial head.
Reagan brought about an end to the COLD WAR.
Recent administrations can't even quell terrorist uprisings nor sooth the savage breast of radical Islam.
Maybe this nation needs that "wake-up" call...that bugle that rouses us from the sack of apathy and gets us to hit the deck of motivation.
My hope is that our country does reclaim it's rightful place in the world, and manages to be able and up to the challenge in order to inherit the destiny that Ronald Reagan saw FOR this nation, which would be a much better one for us all.
Would that all of us take up that same banner in some small way to make that truly happen.
Have yourselves a great week.
Be well, make a difference to someone, and...
Stay safe out there, America.

04 February 2011

Friday Follies...
Before we get rolling this morning, a word of CAUTION - It's FREAKING COLD OUTSIDE...!
The current wind-chill at 0630 hours in the Summit City is right around 15 BELOW ZERO..and THAT my friends IS colder than a witch's teat in a brass brassiere, trust me.
But, if you've got a pet penguin...or polar bear (and in this day and age of FADS...who doesn't, right?), I'll bet THEY'RE loving it.
So, I'm wondering WHY, with all this cold, do we STILL have ICE CUBE TRAYS in our refrigerators???
Leave the damn drink OUTSIDE for say...FIVE minutes. Oh yeah, it'll be COLD all right (if not frozen solid)!
It felt like I was channeling Robert Scott, Roald Amundsen, and Ernest Shackelton...all at once...and even THEY were telling me how cold it was!
The plows came through our area, creating on some streets only ONE lane (where TWO lanes is the norm), so you can bet your bottom dollar THAT is creating some really "interesting" traffic patterns as you navigate those areas.
Then again...this IS the SOUTHEAST side of town...always ignored...shit end of stick...yeah, you get the idea.
*** We recently have had some "private" plow come up our ALLEY (the ONLY one in the immediate area that is plowed...how curious).
And the snow is piled up across the street and into the NEXT block's alley entrance...(how ignorant).
What I find hinky about this deal, is that ONLY TWO houses that are currently occupied have direct garage access from the alley, and we know ONE of those homeowners (she's a self-reliant kind of person) and can drive in damn near any weather...AND she knows what a shovel is used for.
So she can't be the one "calling" for this plow, which leaves the house at the other end of the block...one of those places that receives a lot of "traffic" to and from the house.
Now, SOMEONE "needs" to have our alley CLEARED...for SOME reason (easy access in and out), and it sure is NOT the city Code Enforcement, Serv-All trash trucks, OR the FWPD.
I haven't seen the truck (yet), but by the tracks it left, it's definitely NOT a city vehicle...the tread pattern is too small...more like a pickup w/ a plow on the front.
My hunch is that whoever this "someone" is, needs to have a clear "route" from the house to whoever else is using the alley (that doesn't live around here) to make it easier to move "something" (drugs or money...I can't tell).
Now, "IF" I were part of a more PROACTIVE police department, I would get V/N on this to see WTF is going on and WHY the alley is suddenly being plowed when every other alley is not.
I know I don't really like to have MY back gate PLOWED IN (2 feet high) when I might need that access area at some point.
Naturally, I sent the information along with pictures of how the alley was plowed to our quadrant captain, in the hope that someone can question this person.
I know yesterday, I didn't even HEAR the damn truck come up the alley, and I've been watching for him...pretty damn sneaky, huh?
*** Schools are again on a 2-hour delay, and the Missus was saying that even Coliseum Blvd. was nasty driving yesterday. Not much is going to change in that regard, given the LOW temperatures we're presently "enjoying".
*** A rally was held uptown last evening for FWCS teachers who are (deservedly) upset at the "direction" Mitch Daniels and Education "czar" Tony Bennett are heading. A shame...I thought Bennett would be GOOD for Indiana's educational system...I might have thought wrong there.
(yeah, it even happens to me once in a while).
The whole teacher accountability issue is one I plan to explore using the educational "triangle" sometime next week, and having married a teacher, you can be sure I've got a pretty good source of "first-hand" information, so stay tuned for that.
*** Crime seems back in full swing here (again).
Didn't take long for the mooks to get their criminal mojo back, and get to setting about being the typical RPIAs we've come to know (and arrest).
The radio sounded like a "typical" day around town...break-ins, batteries, fights...you name it, we got it (back).
And as soon as the level-4 emergency was lifted, you could almost here that criminal "sigh of relief".
(Gee, I thought it was the wind gusting...silly me)
*** This story caught my attention, even though it happened down in Decatur IN:
(( Racing snowmobiler injured - Anne Gregory The Journal Gazette
A snowmobile race across an Adams County field Wednesday ended with a trip to the hospital and surgery for a Decatur man.
Jeffry Keuneke, 31, was hurt about 4 p.m. when his snowmobile hit a bump that threw him from the seat, Indiana Conservation officers said in a written statement.
He tumbled several times, landing face down, it said, and had a broken wrist and cuts on the face – both requiring surgery.
Keuneke was taken to Parkview Hospital in Fort Wayne, where he was listed in fair condition Thursday morning.
Alcohol was ruled out as a factor, the statement said. It also said Keuneke was not wearing a helmet
. ))
Now this happened in a RURAL area...not even on a residential street (as I saw the other night).
I mean our streets aren't the SMOOTHEST surfaces to go riding those on...that's for sure. And all those utility poles and street signs...just waiting to "leap out" and grab those riders...not a good thing...LOL!
*** Paul Helmke is at it AGAIN.
Here's a link to the story in today's paper:
http://www.journalgazette.net/article/20110204/LOCAL08/302049980
Now, good old Paul (who was IMHO never a good old mayor, at least not when it came to the SE part of town, and who you Aboiters can "thank" for being ANNEXED into the city to help PAY for all the welfare queens and Bebe's kids) needs to go hunting...preferably with Dick Cheney.
I almost feel like pulling a Godfather, and send him a deceased equine along with a baseball bat and tell him to beat THAT for a while, instead of pushing for all this GUN control. He just won't get it, and that's pretty damn sad.
It is NEVER about GUN control, Paul...it's ALL about the PERSON wielding it, though.
If we, as a society need to control ANYTHING, it's the ACCESS to those guns...and NOT the guns (or accessories thereof), kapeesh?
And the BEST way to control access to guns, is to find out WHO has some kind of mental issue.
It's the SOCIOPATHS who are the risk, and NOT Joe or Jane Citizen.
Take the Hasan shootings at Fort Hood.
That was a situation where both the FBI as well as the military dropped the ball.
When several red flags go UP, you don't stand around and say: "Ooh, what a bunch of beautiful flags...don't they all wave nicely in the breeze?"
You INVESTIGATE it, because that is a DISTRESS warning sign.
Regarding the AZ shootings, if the military didn't think he (Jared Loughner) was going to work out for THEM, should that not have been a sign that "something" was wrong somewhere? Ditto for the VT shootings. That guy also had instability problems, and yet, no one mentioned it, and if someone did, there was NO followup.
We've become a society where we summarily dismiss potential problems for that universal "feel-good, everyone's a winner" mindset...and that can get you KILLED (a lot).
None of us are perfect, but there ARE more than a few out there who are a LOT LESS perfect than even we are...a LOT less, indeed.
And yet, "we" lump them in with the rest of the decent folks...much like the way the educational system "mainstreams" the problem kids (read incorrigible juvenile delinquents) right in there next to YOUR sons or daughters, and then we wonder WHY we have bullying...or worse in the schools?
Used to be a time when "bad kids" were remanded into schools that "specialized" in a particular kind of tough love in order to have THEM achieve just as well as their normal public school counterparts...and that worked a lot better than grouping all the bad-asses in with regular kids.
Same used to be said to adult society.
We USED to have asylums, where people with severe societal issues were housed. Today, they walk our streets, shop at our stores and sometimes, buy our guns.
But our society does this to make them "feel" like the REST of us...to be "included", and not be the outcasts they are (or should be).
Yeah, that's SO much kindlier...and gentler.
Until one of these loons flies under the radar long enough, and then goes and shoots up a school...or a mall...or someplace else, right?
THIS is the issue Helmke needs to focus on...NOT the guns used in the commission of these shootings.
Personally, if I could get "hi-cap" mags for any of my guns...I would, because if there ever would come a time when anarchy starts roaming my street, I want to keep that as far AWAY from MY front door as possible. And so would any of you. Maybe Paul does want us all to be gun-owners, but I'm not all that good with owning a damn FLINTLOCK, (the ultimate LOW-capacity firearm) as opposed to my .45 ACP w/ TEN rounds of people-stopping whoop-ass at my disposal.
What it all comes down to is PEOPLE-CONTROL, and I know that sounds like some socialist crap, but it simply is NOT. We ONLY need to weed out those who simply cannot (or will not) control themselves and go off on some killing spree...nothing more. Leave everyone else alone.
(and leave their firearms alone as well).
Nuff said about that...for the time being.
*** This weekend is the Super Bowl (yawns)...right?
Well for OUR house, it's time (once again) for the Animal Planet's 7th annual PUPPY BOWL...!
Oh yeah, now THAT is entertainment..and worth a few laughs.
We'll have the best of the (canine) best on the "field" this year, along with the KITTY HALFTIME SHOW, and the CHICKEN CHEERLEADERS.

And yes, the "Tail"-gate party will be there as well. And there could be even more fun in store this Sunday (3PM).
All they need is a fly-over...LOL.
Hard to believe it's been SEVEN years running...and getting more popular each year.
Besides, watching puppies and kittens run about and play is a FANTASTIC stress-reliever, right?
(and it goes real well with a Sam Adams...or two)
*** Lastly today, we all have been trying to pay as much attention to what's going on around us, and that means from inside our homes to our neighborhoods, nation and the world, and I know it can be a very daunting task most days.
But, it's like I said a few days back about being PREPARED.
Never hurts to know what MIGHT be coming, whatever "it" might be.
Lord knows we can't prepare for everything, but we sure as hell can be prepared for something.
So, with that in mind, take a little time this weekend to get reacquainted with how prepared YOU are for "something".
Pick something small, and think about what you would, or what you can do, should a FUBAR situation show itself.
Take stock in the food (and drinks) you have on hand...with this cold weather, it's a pretty good idea anyway.
Go over your finances, or see what might need tending to around the house.
Make yourself a "go-bag" in the event you have to bug out for whatever reason.
Check your car and make yourself a "cold-weather" kit (blanket, powerbars, signal devices, battery radio, etc).
Hey, if it never even helps YOU...it might be a help to someone you come across. Or you might inspire others to be that much more self-reliant.
And when we are able to help OURSELVES, we are MUCH better able to go help others that require our help.

THAT is the spirit of this nation.

Have yourselves a great weekend.

Be well, make a difference to someone, and as always...
Stay safe out there, America.

03 February 2011

In The Aftermath...
This marvelous storm has passed, and now we're pretty much stuck with near zero temperatures for a time here in the Heartland.
All in all, we made it through relatively unscathed. I know that at the Bobby G. "Fortress of Reason", we weathered this event with our usual aplomb.
And, it's time like this, when you're out shoveling the walks and the driveway that you discover aches in parts of your body you didn't know you still had!
I was (and am) "hurtin' for certain", but had this sense of satisfaction...that I had done MY part in this battle against the elements.
Better to shovel THREE times with light stuff than wait until TODAY.
Here in Fort Wayne, we remained under a LEVEL ONE snow emergency, which MEANS that ONLY emergency vehicles and snow-removal vehicles SHOULD be on the streets and roads.
Naturally, the "locals" down HERE seem to NEVER pay attention to ANYTHING anyone tells them.
And that's why people had trouble getting AROUND the ghettohood yesterday (like the USPS, the drugs MUST go through, I suppose).
I saw my assortment of tire spinning, speeds reaching upwards of THREE miles per hour, and dipshit driving (when these idiots should have stayed in until the city had the streets cleared). You get used to seeing such behavior, and the one consolation you can take away from such things, is that YOU know to PAY ATTENTION to what others have to say when it's in your best interest and safety.
Most all the vehicles I saw that had trouble were FWD, but I also saw my share of RWD trucks (read SUVs) having a hard go of it.
As for people out shoveling their sidewalks? (like I was)
Pretty much non-existent.
The one woman across the street had her walk shoveled (as had I by 0600 hrs)...and that was about IT on our block...amazing.
One guy down the block managed to get his Monte Carlo stuck HALFWAY in the street and driveway. But with THREE people on the ass end of the car, they all finally got it (sort of) back up INTO the driveway.
I guess clearing the driveway of all that SNOW FIRST might have been a good idea...'ya think?
I'll tell 'ya straight up...what passes for regular people THESE days is what we WOULD have institutionalized for being mentally-incapable 40 years ago.
Which would make people like you and I damn close to EXTRAORDINARY (today) in the manner we conduct OUR lives.
Quick...reform the "League" (of extraordinary gentlemen...and ladies), there's rampant idiocy afoot!
It makes you laugh some days...on other days, you damn near want to bury your head in your hands and bemoan the state of our society in general.
If the CITY shuts it doors, and tells you to STAY OFF THE STREETS, the first thing that does NOT come to my mind is: "Yeah, I just HAVE to go out somewhere for the hell of it, because they told me to stay in".
And it's not that people can't WALK to a store for emergency supplies...they CAN. They just "don't wanna".
They have evolved into what we used to call back East a "gas-ass" mentality.
Why walk down the next block to my homey's crib...when I can DRIVE, right?
Of course, when you see the WAY these same people DRESS in near-blizzard conditions, you soon KNOW why.
(Educational Alert - you might learn something)
Athletic shoes are NOT standard issue for stomping through calf-deep snow!
Nor are they effective for traction, unless that snow-covered street happens to be made of polished HARDWOOD.
You need something with what we call an AGGRESSIVE TREAD.
And with all the pent-up aggression found in these Section 8 hovels ("gub'ment ain't gimme nuff") , you'd "think" these locals would put 2 and 2 together.
I mean, they LIVE to be aggressive from what I've seen demonstrated.
But they cannot figure out the whole boot/snow/warm, dry foot thing to save their asses. Go suffer.
That's why they "need" to drive everywhere (when they're not burglarizing homes in the area, which yesterday they didn't seem to be).
Yes, it sounded like crime DID take a few hours off, and it was wonderful to hear.
Hell, not much was open to rob (business-wise) and most SANE people stayed indoors (burglars hate houses with residents at home), and car-jacking wasn't going to pan out...(talk about your LOW-speed pursuits...LOL).
Yeah, not too much to entertain those simian brains yesterday...I loved it.
We only had ONE boomcar...came by around 2330 hrs...small white sedan. I green-lazed his ass, and he damn near drove into the unplowed snow as he sped eastbound...
I was LMAO...what a sh*thead!
We DID have two SNOWMOBILERS running through the area... (WTF???)
Now out in the rural areas, woods and fields, that's fine and dandy, but on a RESIDENTIAL (frigging) STREET?
Not hardly.
No license plate and they need to have one, because those engines ARE larger than the 50cc limit the city sets for not requiring a plate.
So, where WERE the police?
(shrugs shoulders) Beats me.
I saw ONE FWPD cruiser yesterday (just one)...and he missed all the potential revenue from the numbnuts in our area.
I do know that the officers had difficulty navigating the streets prior to being plowed. (I could have TOLD them that much - I'm from Philly, remember?)
Today, we're gonna be back to "business as usual"...I can feel it (maybe it's just the arthritis).
I can predict speeding, and this one guy that loves to fishtail along the streets on purpose (too much testosterone for his own good).
Sorry, but being on the road in bad weather conditions when you don't have to be does NOT make you an excellent DRIVER...just an excellent FOOL.
(excluding emergency vehicles and city plows that is)
So now we settle in for the BIG FREEZE.
Yeah, I really want MY kid standing on a below zero-degree corner waiting for his/her bus!
Funny, we didn't have to do that when I went to school.
We just didn't have school when it got THAT cold. Then again, we were more prone to LEARNING when we DID go to school...none of this f$cking around "self-esteem" BS (we had our OWN self-esteem) and we also knew HOW TO DRESS for cold weather (parents made sure of that).
They would close schools we could WALK to, because it got too cold.
(no one was bused in THOSE days...you attended the school you lived closest to)
And we had a LOT more graduates with higher averages..go figure.
Guess a lot more people cared back then...that's gotta be it.
And that brings me to this whole "school-closing" thing.
The FWCS (as is SOP for them it seems) waited until the very LAST moment Tuesday evening to CLOSE the schools on Wednesday. (idiots)
Must have been ALL those irate people posting to the FWCS FaceBook page...
Oh, well...the squeaky wheel DID get the grease yesterday.
Today, school's back open (with a 2 hour delay while everyone else is STILL closed), and some neighborhoods are still reporting the lack of plowing to clear those areas...
Wonder how those buses will be doing IN those neighborhoods?
Personally, I think they should have closed for ONE more day...just to make SURE that ALL the streets were as PASSABLE AS POSSIBLE, and that kids would not have to wait on freezing corners any longer than they need to.
But we must not be all that concerned about the kids safety at the corners or on the buses...rather we're more concerned about that damn LUNCH MENU that Michelle Obama is screwing with...THAT'S what's important these days...and those freaking state TEST scores.
Lord knows THEY are job-one (instead of real education...teach to the damn test instead).
But, you just can't seem to go BACK to what USED to work in our educational system...or so it would seem.
(shakes head)...whatta world.
Now, you're probably wondering what does a person do when snow storms keep you cooped up with little to do (except shoveling)?
Well, I have my "things" I do around the house...and then there's these:
-- Sometimes, I like to take some pictures of models in the "natural environment"...just to keep my photo skills honed.
Reminds me of our troops during the Bastogne siege in 1944.
Now THAT was the greatest generation.

-- A little "forced perspective" shooting works wonders.
Oh, the fun I could have running one of THESE babies down my street...

I got your your "urban-renewal" RIGHT HERE...LOL.
And naturally, you just GOT to have that BFG to go with it!
(objects in mirror appear LARGER...oh, yeah...lol)

-- Other times, I like to mess with photoshop for a while.

Okay, so it's not Robert Downey Jr
(it's really me)
...never hurts to "dream", does it?

And this rig would definitely beat DRIVING around town...that's for sure!

See what happens when you were an ART major in high school...and never followed up on it after all those years?
(note to self: NEXT life, definitely)
So here's hoping all of YOU made out fine with this recent global warming event....
Remember...you COULD have been living in Chicago this week...or Antarctica.
Keep taking it easy out there...plenty of snow still to move, so don't overexert yourselves.
Stay indoors when possible, dress warmly when going out, because it IS going to feel like you signed on for the Shackleton expedition.
And it will feel that way for close to a week.
Early spring...yeah, I'm hopeful because "Phil" said so.
In the meantime...
Be well, make a difference to someone, and...
Stay safe out there, America.

02 February 2011

Humpday Happenings...
I've been through a mess of snowstorms on the EAST coast in my 58 years, but you people in the Midwest managed to impress even ME with this last one.
Definitely had a "wow" time of it.
So, where the hell to begin??
Ever taken a ride on one of those "killer" roller coasters and after you got off, someone asked you: "How was it?" and you didn't have a clue as to HOW to describe it? Yeah, that kinda sums up the past 48 hours REAL WELL.
Okay, let's start with the GOOD news...simply because there's not that much of it, and we can get it out of the way quickly.
*** This morning, in Gobbler's Knob, famed provocateur of precipitous prognostication (whew, didn't know I had that one in me), one Punxatawney Phil, who is rousted from his nice, warm burrow each and every freaking year at this time, only to be the brunt of a yearly media mecca, as he is held aloft for all in attendance to see, MUST have decided that enough was enough.
I mean with ALL those flood lights shining on your early dawn fur, I would be AMAZED if he didn't see about THIRTY shadows (which means the next ICE AGE will arrive next Tuesday...probably right before rush hour).
And yet, with ALL that going on, "Phil" saw fit to demonstrate to everyone, that he would NOT be swayed by a "contrived" method for viewing one's shadow.
In other words...he SAW the truth...and he "spoke" it.
He DID NOT see HIS shadow...and you know what THAT means?
AN EARLY SPRING (and by now, I know I could sure use one)!
Finally, just when we thought we couldn't catch a break, a little woodland creature shows us the way.
Gotta love that!
Alrighty now...strap yourselves in, because the REST of today's post is going to be a bit "bumpier".
*** In Fort Wayne, we have (at last) dropped the BLIZZARD WARNING (yay).
But we're now at a LEVEL ONE snow emergency (boo).
That means that ONLY priority vehicles (such as POLICE, FIRE, EMS...REBEL SNOW SPEEDERS and TAUNTAUNS) are, or SHOULD be permitted on the streets and roads.
City snow removal trucks are obviously permitted on the roads to handle ALL this flaky white stuff.
Which means, if you parked along a main artery or a snow emergency route because your street looked like crap and you couldn't even get DOWN it, you just might wind up in one of TWO possible situations:
1) You may be PLOWED THE HELL IN.
(or my personal favorite)
2) You may be TOWED THE HELL AWAY.
(word to the wise here, eh?)
I do know one thing that I am enjoying like there's NO tomorrow...
It is FINALLY...FREAKING QUIET on our street...!!!!
I haven't heard THIS much quiet in a dozen or so years...amazing!
Come to think of it...my neighborhood hasn't looked THIS WHITE for about the same number of years...LOL!
Imagine that...a QUIET, WHITE neighborhood (didn't even know they still existed...at least not down HERE).
I know this MUST be freaking out the "locals" to NO end...FANTASTIC!
Watching some of these mooks trying to drive about last night was a real hoot, too.
I saw one FWD Buick spinning his tires all over...and moving at a blistering THREE MPH...LMAO!
Another guy tried to pull his pickup into a nearby alley...oops, sorry...wasn't gonna happen.
After a few attempts that idea was aborted, and he moved on.
Now, I do know that sooner or later the plows will come flying up and down our streets, but I AM prepared even for that.
I shoveled the sidewalk out front, and piled the snow into a "berm" along the curb strip.
It should be sufficiently high enough to prevent "fallout" from the rooster tails the plows will toss along the curbs.
BTW, good luck if you're PARKED along the residential streets when those plows come through...LOL.
(you might be there until Valentine's Day)
The weather itself was interesting last night...
First, we had snow...then sleet. then snow...then some more sleet with a little freezing rain (there is a difference), and then a little more snow.
This all added up to that crusty, heavier mixture that's a helluva lot harder to shovel (and not toss your back out) than all that powdery stuff we got earlier.
Now, while all THAT was going on, the wind was a howlin', too.
We had sustained winds over 40 MPH for a few HOURS, with some gusts reaching over 50 MPH!
Oh, yeah, that'll get those cheeks rosy REAL fast.
All in all, a rather "brisk" time outside, for sure.
I must admit that watching the snow/sleet/freezing rain/whatever coming down SIDEWAYS had a curious attraction to me.
I suppose it wasn't coming DOWN as much as COMING OVER, right?
How would I rank this against the one we had in 1978...or even the one back in 1957?
Well, having come through both of THOSE storms in Philly and NJ, I'd say this was real close behind them...
We didn't appear to get AS MUCH SNOW as in '78, but the winds were whipping up a LOT more, causing the drifting.
I'd hate to see the COUNTY ROADS...(yikes)!
Probably can't FIND half of them this morning.
Suffice it to say, in the aftermath of everything that transpired YESTERDAY...damn near EVERYTHING is CLOSED today.
Over 500 BUSINESSES in our area have shut down today, and naturally ALL the schools are closed.
That ALONE should tell you this was one SERIOUS storm event.
The FWIA (airport) is OPEN, but for the life of me, I can't figure out WHY?
No one's going to be able to DRIVE to it (or get from it), right?
Back in '78, the counties in NJ were asking people w/ 4WD vehicles to contact the state police in order to get hospital personnel to and from local hospitals.
In Philly...NO ONE went anywhere...period.
But we had an assortment of "corner stores" that had necessities, should you have needed them.
We lived near a main street that led to the bridge over the Delaware, and back then, even THAT street was void of traffic.
Now here in fort Wayne, you've got a city that's 1/10th the size of Philly, so it should be a lot easier to have those emergency vehicles to get about.
I think we might even see local crime taking the day off...or at least a large part of it.
Last evening, during the height of this storm, the Missus and I heard a call come over the radio for a signal *46,96* (domestic w/ battery), and we said to one another: "WTF is with some people that they HAVE to smack each other around when they can't get outside?"
I mean, if you have THAT much "aggression" that needs purging...go grab a damn SHOVEL and get your lazy ass OUTSIDE and clear the steps...or go around the ghettohood and shovel for MONEY...whatta bunch of moulinyans!
We DID see two entrepreneurial "gentlemen", shovels-in-hand, that came to our intersection, realized the ONLY walkway where working people live was ALREADY shoveled, and that the rest of the houses on the block were either VACANT or lived in by Section 8'ers (no shoveling permitted UNLESS done by the goverment) and promptly turned back around and left the area...LOL!
Tell 'ya...it's always fun to people watch down here, especially in BAD weather!
And we ARE still getting some snow showers (light, thankfully) as I speak, so we're not all done with this yet.
Hopefully, this will end sometime later today, with very little accumulation.
Personally, I can't wait for all those aches and pains to show up.
And I don't have Flex-All 454 to fill the damn tub...(dammit), so it's gonna have to be scotch in the coffee...LOL.
Hey, if you don't keep your wits about you and find some humor somewhere in all this crap, you just aren't enjoying life the way you should.
(Rudyard Kipling would be proud)
In any event, I hope all of you made out OK with this storm, wherever you live, and that we look at this as a reminder to ourselves about a few things:
1) Mother Nature always has the LAST WORD!
2) You CAN rely on your OWN resources.
3) Never hurts to be prepared.
4) Your BRAIN is still your best tool in the shop.
5) Decent people will work together and help one another in times like this.
6) When a city closes, it MUST mean something.
7) When in doubt - stay INSIDE.
So, take it easy out there shoveling today...it's heavier than it looks.
Take a break...don't try and do it all at once.
Stay inside, don't venture outside if you don't have to...seriously.
(you're not gonna get far by vehicle anyway...for a while)
Enjoy the peace and quiet...I know for certain I sure will!
Be well, make a difference to someone, and... Stay safe out there, America.