06 December 2006

If It's Not ONE Thing....It's, Well...You Know...

In my wonderfully "blighted" part of Fort Wayne (thanks in NO small part to all the rentals with deadbeat landlords shipping tenants in by the crack-filled boomcar full), we have one of "those" people on our block. You might remember him from a previous post Meet My "Neighbors"). This loser is a chronic "stoner", has been known to deal guns for drugs, OWNS a high velocity rifle (probably couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle), has real long hair, drives a truck with several different colored parts on it (green truck, yellow hood, black fenders), and basically is one helluva nuisance...period. He gives HILLJACKS a bad name! He used to work for GM, until he drank his way OUT of that job...and as my Dad would say: "What a LOAD". And yet year after year, he manages to get UNDER the law-enforcement radar...simply astounding!

He *used* to have HUGE bonfires (pep-rally sized) out back near his garage (which we will address directly), with flames OVER EIGHT feet tall. City Ordinance states that you CANNOT have ANY fire (that's not solely for cooking) within 25 feet of any structure. Well, he lost that case BIG-TIME. So, I called the FWFD on his ass TWICE last month. It was funny to see the firemen drag a hose in the yard to put it out. All that because this moron was...well, a MORON.

Now about his garage...a study in disrepair if EVER there was one. The paint was scraped off, and NEVER repainted, the door is broken and OFF of the tracks (in pieces), and it's full of crap...LOTSA crap....LOTSA, LOTSA crap. So I call NCE (neighborhood code enforcement) to have them come out and take a look-see.

The District Officer (older guy) comes out, takes some pics of HIS garage...THEN stops in front of MY house and takes more pictures. He's been through here NUMEROUS times and NEVER, I repeat NEVER stopped here once! I went out and asked what was wrong. He told me the barbed wire I had going around my trees had to come down. Well, since it's been UP for a few years, I was curious as to why. It did come in handy one night about 2AM when an officer chased a perp around my house, and that wire slowed the perp up long enough for the officer to tackle his ass on my side lawn. I was told it poses a "hazard" (a hazard to what? burglars trying to make a fast getaway?). As if TRESPASSING isn't a huge problem (it WILL be a hazard for those I CATCH taking a shortcut). The idiots around here live by their own axiom: "What's yours is MINE...and what's MINE is MY OWN". I have tried for the past several YEARS to get something to grow on the DIRT I have that USED to be a front lawn. I'm almost there.

I found out by talking with the captain of the NCE department (we're closer than most people) that someone called this into NCE as a trip wire, and how would these people know that unless they were close enough TO my house, or got caught by it (oops, trespassing). Maybe they shouldn't be so damn nosy and get up on my property...'ya think?

I asked the NCE officer if the city would BUY me a NEW LAWN so I don't need to have the wires up. He bluntly said NO (buttwipe). End of subject. I told the guy (old fart) I'd have it down right away, if he wanted to stick around and "watch"...to make sure. He didn't (go take your meds). Hey, at least I CAN follow rules (when I have to), unlike the other mooks around here that ignore every damn one of them (and keep getting away with it).

I read the ordinance (chapter 157 of the city codes), and it DOES say there is to be NO barbed wire...OK, I'm fine with that. I'm made some white picket sections (no higher than three feet to comply with code for an "ornamental" fence, instead of a "property" fence which requires a permit) to put up..34 INCHES feet in height (once they're placed in the ground and secured).

So....my "Plan B" is in full swing...let's see someone bitch about THAT. I should be able to get the "ornamental-gardening-boundary-border-decorative fencing" up by this weekend.
One interesting thing to note....although broken glass, nails, spikes and barbed wire are NOT allowed (along with chicken wire, mesh and welded wire), not ONE DAMN THING is mentioned about FISHING LINE (at least 50 lb test), or plain old WIRE (hold the barbs). Hell, nothing is mentioned there about ROPES or CHAINS either....(that give me even MORE ideas...heh, heh, heh)...
I have a damn good idea who dimed on ME...not a problem. I saw one person near the NCE guy when he was down the street....It's easier to get *him* tossed back IN jail than for them to even get *me* NEAR jail. Amazing what hoops you have to jump through JUST to keep YOUR property from looking like most everyone else's...isn't it?

So remember....to EVERY plan...ALWAYS have a letter "B" in the mix....you never know.

((I usually have C through F too....LMAO)

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