Life In The "55" Lane...

Now for Sammy Hagar (and me) that seems about right, but for a lot of others who haven't yet experienced the wonderfulness of reaching such a millstone (correction...MILESTONE), as the song goes - "The Best Is Yet To Come" (unless the unforeseen occurs).

And in that vein, here are some random observations regarding this stage of life that I like to refer to as:

BOBBY G'S ~ BELIEVE IT...OR ELSE!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

(In my next life I wanna be a pig)

(How'd they figure this out, and why?)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Still can't get over that pig thing)

(Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is THAT why Flipper was always smiling?)

(And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, 9 years longer than left-handed people do.

(If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight & always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of...?)

(Did taxpayers pay for this research??)

Polar bears are left handed.

(Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they ask them?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What can be SO tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length.

It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes...can you imagine?? And why pigs?)

A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.

(Creepy)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is

attached to its body.

The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(Honey, I'm home. What the....)

(Well, at least pigs get a break there...)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(That's a tough call ... quality vs quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Oh, Geez...That's almost as bad as catfish)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

(I know some neighbors like that.)

Starfish don't have brains.

(I know a lot of neighbors like that too.)

All I can say is.............Lucky Pigs!

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And While We're On The Subject....

In just 3 short days, THIS blog will celebrate it's FIRST anniversary (25 August). Coming on the heels of MY birthday, it's kind of disconcerting. The blog is still in it's relative infancy, while I'm enjoying (?) the "late summer and early autumn" of my life. Wonder how that daylight saving time thing works with THOSE "seasons"?

Still, I wouldn't have gotten to where I am with this blog without some people urging me to "get one" in the first place. Thanks, I think.

To Tim:

You and your intellect....dammit! You had to go make my life THAT much more complicated, didn't you? And me with an 8 year old 'puter (the newer one is only 3 years younger) AS WELL AS a land line. SHEESH... You're the Dr. Frankenstein (that's Frahnken-SCHTEEN) to "my" monster that sits in front of me every time I post, operating at a pace that would make the "SLOWSKIS" envious...LOL!

To AWB (aka Dan):

I'd like to say that you're the "wind beneath my virtual wings", but we're both REAL MEN, and don't do that mushy, sappy-ass, "Lifetime" Channel bullshit... What I CAN say is that you've been a guidepost in my travels through the blogosphere. I've found a LOT of bloggers that have great views on various topics, both good AND bad. My link list is AS LONG as it is...thanks to you.

To my "Regular" commenters, both male AND female:

Thanks for the support. At least I know that YOU GUYS are reading all the crap I complain about (as well as the fun stuff). Believe me, if the world weren't in the state it's in, we might not even be HAVING this conversation. But someone's got to say what needs to be said, and I don't mind being another "grunt in the trench"...to echo those that feel as passionately as I do, and even to make me (and others) see another POV (rare as that can be most days...LOL). Hey, stranger things HAVE happened.

So here's to many more "anniversaries" (like the 26th "anniversary" of my 29th birthday).
Let's hope the world doesn't wind up going to hell in that handbasket TOO fast..we've all got a LOT more pissin' and moanin' to do....right?

So, if anyone is wishing to suffer through a "Meet & Greet" (sometime soon) can email me, send me their email, or ask for an email FROM me...or something that comes close to what the hell I just tried to say...how's about it? I'd prefer to go DUTCH (we each pay), but if anyone wants to go RUSSIAN (you pay)...or maybe go AMERICAN (you only pay THROUGH THE NOSE), or perhaps we could go GHETTO (home owning taxpayers ONLY pay), or maybe we could even go FORT WAYNE (you keep paying more and more every year & never get what you pay for)...we can do any one of these.

It's up to you.