Monday Musings...

My late father used to have a "saying for every occasion", and today happens to fit the bill. Every now and then when something out of the ordinary would occur, he'd sit back and opine that "If it's not one (damn) thing...it's another".

And after all these years, I find myself referring to that same axiom. You get up, shuffle to the coffee maker, pour a nice hot cup of java, unfold the morning's news events in the local paper, and you say it: "Holy crap, if it's not one damn thing...it's another".

If it's not Israel leading an air strike into Syria and bombing a nuclear facility, it's America accusing Turkey of genocide against a million Armenians during the last years of the Ottoman Empire (isn't it a little LATE for that anyway?).

If it's not the fact that cancer deaths are declining, it's this "NASCAR vaccine" that's got the GOP's undies in a bunch.

If it's not some (c)rap star getting busted by the ATF while trying to buy class 3 machine guns, it's some other (c)rap star getting busted for drugs...or shooting someone...or assaulting someone...or one of a multitude of other offenses (big surprise THERE, huh?).

If it's not your child having a temper tantrum, it's someone ELSE'S child having one which affects your child just as much (just smack the parents instead).

If it's not more SPAM in your email box, it's a "zombie virus" from some overseas geek that's generating them for several thousand other users.

If it's not another Harrison Square issue, it's well....another issue about Harrison Square (can't dance around THAT future white elephant too readily, can we?).

If it's not the Republicans slinging mud, it's the Democrats...and if it's not the Democrats, it's the Republicans (in that there is parity, at least).

If it's not Drew Carey on THE POWER OF TEN, it's Drew Carey on THE PRICE IS RIGHT (or Drew Carey on reruns of The Drew Carey Show...hey, at least the guy is a hard worker, eh?).

If it's not Jeff Gordon winning another race, it's Jeff Gordon winning still another race (and that's why I don't follow NASCAR any longer).

If it's not a shooting on the Southeast side of our city, it's ...yet ANOTHER shooting on the Southeast side of our city ( I don't know about YOU, but I see a pattern here).

If it's not bloggers griping about political issues, it's bloggers picking on ONE ANOTHER (luckily, yours truly is quietly exempt from the latter...it's called a low, but HIGHLY "SELECT" readership...LOL).

If it's not a dumbass fireworks law in our city, it's a smoke bomb in an elevator at the RAVE cineplex that evacuated 200+ people (those fireworks stores now open all year SELL the SAME smoke bombs...hint, hint).

If it's not Sharpton and Jackson setting their race back 100 years every time they open their mouths, it's...well, come to think of it, that's about ALL they ever seem to do.

If it's not the Burmese trying to get the U.N. to do something about the violence in their country (now called Myanmar), it's the U.N. conveniently forgetting the primary REASON they were created in the first place.

If it's not Hillary Clinton being FOR the war in iraq, it's Hillary Clinton being AGAINST the war in Iraq (until it becomes better for her campaign to be FOR it again)

If Al Gore (Environmangelist extraordinaire) isn't carbon-crediting his way into our hearts, he's winning a bloody Nobel Peace Prize (and Alfred Nobel invented DYNAMITE...what's THAT tell you?).

If it's not Glenn Beck stating (on his program) what I have said for YEARS...it's Bill O'Reilly doing it...or Sean Hannity (hey guys, if I'm THAT good with MY intuitive foresight, how's about putting ME on someone's payroll?).

If it's not a speed trap, it's a seat belt checkpoint (trust me).

I'm sure you can think of several hundred other such things happening in YOUR life, even as we speak, that can be applied to my Dad's saying.

(btw...we just covered all the major stories from today's paper and then some in this post...look carefully)

Oops, was that ANOTHER one I just heard you say?

Yeah, I know...if it's not ONE damn thing...it's ANOTHER!