More Fallout?

It's mid-week, and we're doing a follow-up of sorts regarding yesterday's "good old days", and I promise that it won't "hurt" all that much.

WARNING: EDUCATIONAL ALERT

((the surgeon general has determined that reading this WILL lead to greater knowledge))

I've found yet another instance of "If it's not one damn thing, it's another", and one need look no further than in their laundry room. Yes, it's that simple.

Take a gander at your washing machine...go ahead, we'll wait a few.......

Now here's one of those boons to mankind that saves us time and effort every time we need clean clothes. And it's within our reach (unless you're doing the laundromat gig, in which case, you get the see some VERY interesting people and fork over some serious change in the process), and when we're not using it, we pass it without a second look.

I recall a time when my Mom had one of the OLD "wringer" washers, and that was considered "high-tech". It had these two wooden rollers on top of a huge tub which contained the agitator. All of this sat atop four steel legs. At first glance, this could be something that Robby the Robot could "get intimate" with. There was ONE speed - NO rinse cycle - and NO spin cycle (hence the rollers at the top). You had to take each article of clothing and pass it through the wringers to get all the water out of them. And the wringers did NOT recognize the difference between your pants and your arm (as mom found out once...just once).

As technologies improved, we moved "up" to front AND top loading machines, which DID have rinse and spin cycles. Nowadays, we have yet another computer which lets us decide which TYPE of fabric we're putting into the washer. With the push of a button, the machine will set the duration of wash time, the spin speed and the agitation rate (slow or "normal", whatever normal is these days). Top-loaders never really "took off" like they did overseas, but you know America's marketing juggernaut.

I've always liked the TOP loaders...for the obvious reason. Water ALWAYS runs DOWNHILL (ask the 3 Stooges about that one), and with a bad door seal on a front loader, you find that out REAL fast.

Now when I do the laundry (yes girls, REAL MEN DO KNOW how to wash clothes PROPERLY...out of necessity most times...or a stint in the military), I follow some of the basic caveats pertaining to using this machine:

1) Never overload the washer with clothes (two smaller loads will take longer, but the washer will last a HELLUVA lot longer). I've seen 40+ yr. old washers that work as good as the day they were taken from the sale floor. I've also seen 3 yr. old washers that are burnt the hell out.

2) Use only enough water to cover the load (it's NOT a swimming pool or your coffee cup - you don't need to "brim" it every single time).

3) All you need is ONE wash cycle and ONE rinse cycle (you can save water by bypassing the middle "cool down" cycle, or whatever they call the middle cycle - it's a waste of resources).

And that's about it....pretty damn easy, huh?

One other thing...make sure the unit is LEVEL before anything else. See, there's these concrete blocks (inside) that are counterbalance weights (along with 3 long springs) that act to optimize the function of the washer, and if the machine is NOT level, expect to hear CHUBBY CHECKER in the back of your head, as the washer will take up the TWIST as it jitterbugs across the laundry room. Think of that spin cycle as someone "speed-checking" a tire on your car for balance. The 20 lb.steel tub (with 10-20+ lbs. of clothes and 10+ gallons of water) will be turning close to 300+ RPMs and with all that weight moving at that speed, that's some very serious crap going on.

Now I said all that to say this:

Top-loading washers will soon be as extinct as the Triceratops.

Starting next year, ALL manufacturers will be switching to FRONT-LOADING washers (to conserve water). I guess we can thank that Nobel Prize winning "environmangelist" Al Gore for THIS now.

Here we go with another "marketing" ploy, not unlike the VHS-BETA VCR debate from the 80s (Beta lost that one thanks to marketing). Some tree-huggers have conspired once again to tell us what we "need" to make life better. We're going to SAVE THE PLANET by saving water (and that will most surely jack UP the water rates to offset the lower usage...right?). So well be right back where we started in no time. Let me also mention that FRONT loaders traditionally cost MORE than top loaders, so expect to shell out more $$$ when that old Maytag finally gives up the ghost.

((sidebar - Speed Queen used to make washers with "bulletproof" parts that were ALL METAL - and they built these machines to last. As a result, they built themselves right out of business.))

Now when I KNOW I'm saving water by following the cardinal rules of LAUNDRY-101, I really get cheesed off when some marketing buttwipe comes along and TELLS ME what I can and cannot do, simply because it's what HE (or they) decide. It's like I said yesterday with TVs, autos, and nearly everything else we use to make our lives "better".

But I can easily trump these front-loading pundits with a technology that's been around for decades (but for some strange reason got shelved, probably along with all the GAS-SAVING tech for cars), and that is...

(drum roll, please..........)

THE SONIC WASHING MACHINE...!

Here's a little beauty (invented by a Japanese man), that uses less than a THIRD of the water used in a conventional machine (front OR top loader), which would essentially render current washer tech obsolete in a Philly heartbeat. Using sonic waves at specific frequencies, it vibrates the dirt out of the fabrics, no matter what the stain or soil content is.

How freaking novel is that?

No mess...no fuss...no waste...and no washer (what???).

That's right...this technology basically disappeared from sight close to twenty years ago, and we haven't heard of it since (damn shame - the prices would be low enough NOW for anyone to afford it, too). Now I don't know about YOU, but "if" we're going to save water (and our planet), it would make DAMN GOOD SENSE to bring this tech online ASAP. But we're not. We're going the route that Europe has gone years before...front-loading washers. Get used to it, because it's here to stay.

Until someone ELSE decides what's "better" for us