Now THIS is Winter Weather...

OK, so it wasn't exactly like the storms of '78-'79...but it sure REMINDS you of it, right? And for the very brave (or is that the very foolhardy) people that went to the malls and had them all to themselves, I sure hope it was worth it to you.

After shoveling twice (front AND back), I figured enough of this stuff...let's kick back and do a LOTR trilogy marathon (that's Lord Of The Rings for the uninitiated) on TNT. Commercials aside, it was a day well spent, because in MY neighborhood, we had something we hardly EVER are privy to...and that is...QUIET.

Yessiree, damn nice to NOT hear someone ELSE'S freaking (c)rap music infiltrating MY house for a change. Great to know that even the acoustically-challenged AUDIO MORONS won't venture outside when weather is this bad. The down side to this is that getting my friend's Christmas package to the USPS will be delayed, as will the incoming mail. Yeah, I should have followed my "gut" and mailed it LAST week.

You rolls the dice...you takes your chances.

At least my feathered friends have the luxury of chowing down at Bob's "all-you-can-eat" buffet...!

Today's conditions aren't much better...NONE of OUR side streets have been plowed ( I guess the trucks are waiting for the streets to become passsable...hmm...I smell a CONUNDRUM here, with just a bit of irony tossed in). And the schools have closed. Hmm...extra hands to help around the house?

Anyway...back to clearing our streets... we all know that when they DO come down to plow (sometime between NOW and April 2008), they'll be moving at such a HIGH RATE OF SPEED, that all the snow cleared from the sidewalks (and that would be...including mine.....be about 5% of them...) will be covered by the rooster-tailing plow job by these trucks. And that means clearing the walks AGAIN...ASAP, because the salt/ice/snow mixture will refreeze and make it even harder to clear.

The best thing to do would have been (and always WILL be) to dump some salt at the INTERSECTION, and let the vehicles spread it about a bit.

NAH...to simple a concept for the street department to crasp.

Besides, even THEY don't want to spend MORE time down here than they "have to".!

I will say that shoveling DOES get more difficult with age...snow seems heavier (wet snow definitely is), and the shovel doesn't seem large enough.

A few tips for shoveling "with seniority":

--Don't overtax yourself...this is critical. More heart attacks occur when shoveling SNOW (not bull$hit as was first thought).

--Don't shovel when you're sweating. If you're layered too much, you WILL perspire, and that can cause hypothermia faster than anything, which will rob your strength, causing you to sweat even more. When you start to sweat, go inside, and "cool down".

--Take smaller shovelfuls. That snow ain't going anywhere (until the temperature hits 50 degrees), so don't try to move ALL of it in 5 minutes. You're not 20 years old anymore. Take a break now and then. Stand back and admire your work.

Better yet...if you have kids (like today with no school), RECRUIT (read DRAFT) THEM instead (see? They're NOT just a good tax exemption for you and the wife anymore).

If you have to drive, always remember to PAY ATTENTION to the road and your car...NOT the paper you're trying to read. or the cellphone you're talking on, or the McD's you're trying to eat. You're DRIVING a 2800 lb+ vehicle on slick, snowy streets and roads, and if not properly controlled, that vehicle WILL hurt people (and other things) pretty damn well. Let others do stupid stuff.

That's what idiots are for!

And that's why YOU have to be on guard while driving.

Remember, unless YOUR vehicle is all red and has a few guys in long coats and helmets sitting on it with all those flashing lights and sirens blaring...you're NOT going to a damn FIRE. TAKE YOUR TIME...forget about those in a hurry.

That's what undertakers are for!

You watch out for YOU.

After that...everyone else comes FIRST.

Stay safe out there.

(8 shopping days until Christmas)