Tales From the SOUTH Side...

Since the weather is dreary, what better way to start your day than to cue up that macabre music and provide you with some commentary about the often forgotten part of our fair city.

Since the dawn of history, there has always been "stuff". The first line of the Bible should be: "In the beginning...there was STUFF".

Doesn't matter WHAT KIND of stuff...all that matters is that there WAS stuff. And when that "stuff" became no longer usable, it became what we referred to as...JUNK. Some junk can be reclaimed or recycled, and that's a win-win all the way around. Other junk lives up to it's name, and merely becomes part of the landscape vis-a-vis a landfill. And as long as we have people who toss out their stuff that has become junk, we will always have those who pick up that stuff...and we call them JUNKMEN.

But I'm not going to talk about the junkmen who run legitimate boneyards...they're in a wonderful class all their own, and are actually a boon to our growing technocratic society. Simply said, THEY are the ones that keep a lot of things running, thanks to THEIR inventory, and many a classic car owner will state as much.

I will instead talk about those "fly-by-night" minions who prowl our streets and alleys (mostly alleys) at all hours looking for "the big score". And if you live in some NICE development, you probably have NEVER even SEEN any of these guys. I'm referring to the junkmen who own trucks that already LOOK LIKE JUNK and SOUND LIKE JUNK, that ply up and down neighborhoods ever searching for heaven knows what, so you KNOW that nice neighborhoods are "off limits" to them. We on the SOUTH side, however have them in ABUNDANCE! Now they're easy enough to spot, as they'll ALWAYS have a truck bed OVERFLOWING WITH CRAP (so at LEAST you KNOW that nothing in there is...SCOTTISH), and they'll be hauling this load around until that junk becomes even worse junk. They will barely have ANY operable lights on their rusting, highly-dented "vehicle", and the license plate will be somehow obscured or damaged. The worst part about these people is that they are probably the MOST opportunistic beings to walk the good earth. If they're not quite sure if something on or near your property "might" be junk, they err on the side of (their) profitability and wind up TAKING IT ANYWAY. Everything is permitted, and nothing is beyond their grasp when it comes to "them". A year or so ago, people were having problems keeping their BBQ grills outside...someone was absconding with them (junkmen). And recently, people known as "scrappers" have taken up residence in our area, the most notable being ones that hit that church and took the GUTTERS right off the building for the copper. Scrapper is just another way of saying JUNKMAN in our area.

We're not talking "Sanford and Son" (who were actually considered to have been in the SALVAGE business) here...not by a country mile...we're talking folks who "claim" their right to take other people's things without permission.

We USED to call them...THIEVES.

Sadly, these junkmen of today have no desire to rebuild, rework, or retool anything they wind up with, as they used to do in days gone by. Many of THOSE junkmen would refurbish something, and then sell it cheap, making things affordable for people with little income to spend on a "new", like item. It could be a shovel, a TV, or furniture. Those junkmen were closet craftsmen...a far cry from those we see today.

What we are privy to now are people who are motivated to steal, pillage or otherwise rob anyone or everyone else. And they keep getting away with it. They have NO interest in "salvaging" anything...they just want the MONEY. Now I have to admit that the work is relatively "light-duty" in nature, so you won't bust a nut at THAT "job". The hours are great (you rise whenever you decide to stop letting the sun shine on your ass), as you "work" when the mood strikes you (and the police aren't around). The benefits kind of suck (no employee health plan to speak of, unless that stop to S&V liquor for "medicinal purposes" counts), and you can avoid the IRS neatly (even though "technically" you ARE "self-employed" and should be paying TAXES quarterly, as you are securing an INCOME).

Yes indeed...nice job should you want it. Problem is, there seems to be NO regulation regarding the number of junkmen allowed. We have people who come down the alley EVERY DAY. We have people who drive the neighborhoods from sunrise to WELL after sunset, and with little or nothing to show for it. We even have "walkups" to your trashbin nosing around for God knows what (I shooed such a person away the other week...told him nothing in there but cat crap and trash). We have junkmen who frequent houses where drug use is known to occur (oh wow...BIG surprise there, eh?), as well as bend traffic laws to their own liking (such as driving backwards down a street, backing INTO an intersection and double or triple parking). And the police can't seem to get a handle on these guys.

Wonder why that is? I think there SHOULD be some type of licensing involved "if" you're going to deal in junk (there probably is, but these people skirt THAT issue as well). It just seems like another unenforceable aspect of policing in OUR part of town.

One thing that IS being done is the recycling places are monitoring those who are bringing in metals. Cameras are in place, and lists are being made, but that's only as good as the recycler, and if THEY don't ask, then the junkmen don't tell where they might have procured certain items.

Again, it's all about the MONEY.

I say let's find out WHO is "legit" and who is not. And then come down HARD on the illegal junkmen or scrappers. People are getting tired of having their pipes torn out, wiring ripped from walls, and even BBQ grills and patio furniture removed from their properties.

Normal neighborhoods will NOT tolerate such behavior...so what makes OUR area any different, aside from the lack of NORMAL people?

Oops...I think I JUST answered my OWN question.

Don'cha just LOVE when that happens?