Seemed like it would NEVER get here. Weatherwise, I haven't a clue as to what to REALLY expect. So I'll just plan for the worst while expecting the best. That means keep the shovel handy, the parka nearby, and the driveway cleared, unless you live on the SOUTHSIDE where only a handful of us actually KNOW what a shovel is...and actually USE it (it involves doing some WORK).
And for God's sake, clear the ENTIRE vehicle off when it gets snowed on. You can't see $**T when you've got a peep hole scraped in ONLY the damn windshield, you morons! And clear the head and tail lights, too, dumbass. They don't "self-defrost" just because you have them ON!
(whew)
I WOULD like to finish the week in a lighter vein, seeming as we just came off one of the most romantic days on the calendar year.
So, without any further ado, I bring you some military humor (and practicality).
CAUTION - PLEASE USE RESPONSIBLY.
Marine Corps Rules for Gun Fighting:
1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.
5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.
7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. Have a plan.
13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
16. Don't drop your guard.
17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them.
19. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
23. Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4."
Navy Rules for Gun fighting:
1. Go to Sea
2. Send in the Marines
3. Drink Coffee
Air Force Rules for Gun Fighting:
1. Take off.
2. Locate a hostile target.
3. Get a good tone.
4. Push a button and smile.
5. Repeat as necessary.
6. Return to base.
Army Rules for Gun Fighting:
1. Refer to Marine rules but de-escalate to a factor of 2
2. When in doubt, call in artillery.
3. When REALLY in doubt, call in air support!
4. When rules 2 or 3 don't apply, call in the RANGERS!
(If none of the above works, you just ain't doin' somethin' right!)
DO have a safe weekend.
2 comments:
Bobby G.,
I liked your analysis. I'm assuming that you are not a Navy veteran.
There are no fair fights among intelligent men. If they truely were equal, then their intelligence would prohibit them from bashing their head against the wall in a standoff. And don't thank me for that brilliant insight, just read Sun Tzu (I'm sure that you already have, Bobby).
The political arena is where we make arrangements based upon the known facts. The arena of warfare is where we establish those facts. And the only rules that matter are those of the survivor's.
Fairness is overrated. Shoot to kill, and if that don't work run or hide!
Have a buddy that was in the Navy, stationed in (get this)...LONDON (didn't know we had ships there).
Turns out he was into the T-COMMS end of it (for ALL of europe).
I had another friend that went into the 101st airborne in 'Nam.
And I've had my share of "Devil Dog" friends from years past.
I an Air Force kinda guy...just like my dad (Army Air Corp for him). Nice shiny planes making nice large holes in the ground from 35,000 feet.
Suh-weet!
Always have MY copy of Sun Tzu at my fingertips...never know when I need a "recap"...LOL!
Interesting that you bring up fairness. My father always said if you have NO WAY of avoiding a fight, get in the FIRST shot, and make it as DIRTY AS HELL.
Then finish what HE started.
Curiously enough, I remember something similar being said by military people in boot camps...!
Imagine that.
;)
B.G.
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