Dude, Where's My Donk?
Remember that really NICE car you (or maybe your Dad) used to own.
Pride of the family.
Nice and shiny, whitewalls, chrome spoked wheels...all factory installed.
It looked exactly the way it did in the brochure Dad (or you) looked at when the salesman made his "speech".
Do you recall how well it handled on that test drive?
And remember how much time was spent keeping it clean ("Because a clean car is a fuel efficient car", Dad used to say).
And so we kept our cars looking as if they just came from the showroom. Yeah, we were that particular, because we knew that other people would view our cars and make conclusions about US in the process.
After all, you ARE what you DRIVE.
Anyone motoring about in our fair city must have (by now) seen one of the growing numbers of "vehicles" with these HUGE, over sized rims (some that spin) that look like someone took a Hot Wheels car and soaked in it Miracle-Grow for about a month.
In many cases these vehicles were once VERY NICE, some even belonging to the old "muscle car" stables of the 70s. But somewhere along the way, this car (or SUV) got waylayed, and was bought by someone with absolutely NO intention of true preservation. They repainted the car in some horrendous shade of some God-awful color (all the leftovers from Earl Scheib's color pallet, obviously mixed together), screwed with the mechanics of the car, and stuck those ugly-ass RIMS on it.
And then they have audacity to still call it a "car". They're mistaken. It's not a car.
This is a DONK.
Get used to them.
In some cases, these guys are rolling billboards...
I'll tell you one thing...it's all I can do to keep from laughing whenever I see one of these morons driving down a street. Yeah, it's that ridiculous. Makes me happy for my normalcy in ways I never imagined.
Now if you look at these vehicles, you will notice that they sit HIGHER than designed (which is itself, a violation of the law; a law that will most likely NOT be enforced along with SO many others in Fort Wayne). This is not a 4x4 truck, or a "Bigfoot"...it's a damn CAR. And in the extreme, it's sitting high enough to require a step stool to enter (or a few hand grips).
Next, from a mechanic's standpoint, you have to realize that these were designed and built with the laws of PHYSICS in mind (to which at least THOSE laws ARE still strictly enforced - police, take note).
Even back in MY day, when we "jacked up the rear" of our car (which was actually lowering the transfer case and suspension - same deal), we were changing the GEOMETRY of the vehicle. We were moving the center-of-gravity FORWARD by doing this, and that places a lot more wear and tear on the entire front end OF that vehicle. The worst problems encountered were brakes and parts wearing the hell out, but the tires wore out a lot sooner too. All for the sake of looking "cool". Well, I never bought into that crap. I wanted my car to do what I tell it to, and not whatever it wants to do. So I kept them "stock". Those that modified them got exactly what they deserved...namely higher maintenance costs. Sometimes you DO get more than you bargained for.
Same is true for these DONKS.
If you raise the ENTIRE car up...the center of gravity goes WHERE? (all together boys and girls)...UP (thank you). And what makes a vehicle want to ROLL OVER easier? Right...a HIGHER center of gravity. That's why many SUVs and Jeeps (today) suck in panic maneuvers and cause rollover crashes.
PHYSICS: Not the BEST law...just the ONLY law.
I love it.
But that's only part of the problem.
We still have these HUGE wheels to deal with. Problem with those are that they could bind in the wheel wells during a turn, blowing a tire, or the added weight on the suspension parts could cause a catastrophic failure if you even hit a rut.
And of course, all that height and weight isn't doing a DAMN thing to help your FUEL ECONOMY...is it?
But...it looks "phat" (that would be what tries to pass for COOL today).
Now I don't know about YOU, but there are enough things to be concerned about on the streets and highways of America without having to deal with these idiots in their Donks. And just try to see past them in traffic...not gonna happen. God help you if you park next to one in a lot, and then try to back out. You're blind as a bat (without the radar to boot).
Makes me wonder where people that DO NOT WORK manage to get all the money to trick out these once nice cars?
Oh, wait...this is Fort Wayne. We have a thriving DRUG TRADE here...that's gotta be it. That also explains why the price of GAS isn't a problem for them. With the THOUSANDS they make EVERY day on our streets, gas could rise to $10 a gallon...and THEY would still be able to AFFORD it (while we have to park the police force). Yeah, it all makes sense now, right?
And while we're talking fuel economy, let's add in that several hundred POUNDS of AUDIO gear that shakes the hell out of our homes, eh?
Yeah, that's saving gas.
You trying to sell me a bridge in Manhattan as well?
If the city was "smart" (yeah...I'll wait until your laughter dies down)...they COULD enact a law that bans these vehicles on the streets (you want to show them off, get a trailer, load it up and take it to a "Donk-Fest" in a ghetto venue), or AT LEAST restrict the height and wheel size.
Face it...it's not a safe vehicle meant for daily usage. Not with the demands on the mechanical aspects of these vehicles.
And while the city's at it, they can lose all this TOO DARK WINDOW TINT. That's a catastrophe waiting to happen. Ever try to see the road at night with SUNGLASSES ON? Well, some of this window tint is damn near as dark as a welding helmet lens! People can't see what's on the roads, and officers can't see in if making a traffic stop.
I suppose all of these "suggestions" will go for naught, however. That's the way the city works. If it's not in THEIR best interest (alone), then fagedaboudit.
Still, all these Dorks, Donks, and Dimwits ARE a public Safety issue.
And failure to address them will lead people to think that everything truly IS permitted.
That's not good public safety now...is it?
But then again, it IS Fort Wayne.