12 May 2008

Monday Musings...
A 2 year old toddler (Darshan Lott) was killed by a speeding driver along another street in the southeast (my) part of town Friday night...and that's sad. It's sad to see any life snuffed out, especially before the age of accountability. The family grieves, the police try to catch the perp, and the media sells the story to us to tug at our heart strings.
Ok, mission accomplished.
We feel for the family.
We "get it".
But here's the story you NEVER hear about...
I live on one of these residential streets, and the last time I checked, they still have the (unposted) speed limit of 25 miles per hour. Trouble is, hardly ANYONE bothers to go AT that speed (with the exception of some elderly person being overly cautious...a good thing). On my street alone, I have belabored the point that well OVER 60% of ALL drivers are not even close to going as slow as 25 MPH.
We have cafe bikes (crotch rockets to the uninitiated) that are doing close to SIXTY when they arrive at our intersection, and woe to anyone that meanders into that intersection when they're flying by.
But it's much more than just speed alone.
It's the mentality of these so-called "parents" that feel it's SO cute when their toddler is running all over the place (as well as they can with limited motor skills at 2 years of age), exploring a much larger world than can be found within four walls of a section 8 house provided by the taxpaying public. Time and again I see small children wander INTO our streets, and the hairs on the back of my neck are at attention.
It scares the hell out of me.
Just the other week, some kids were having a "trespass football catch" on someone else's property, and the preteens and teens were running into the intersection to make the grabs. Well, this little blonde-haired toddler was following them all over, and traffic almost came to a stop several times at the intersection. I'm sure this is not what the city street planners had in mind to assuage speeding in our area. Finally, the little girl was taken home. Another tragedy averted...for the time being.
Let's face it...children at THAT age are motivated by TWO things: MOVEMENT and COLOR. If something's bright OR shiny OR moving, or ANY combination of those three, they will pursue it with a vengeance out of sheer curiosity. It's just human nature. We've all done it. The only reason WE are still here to talk about it, is that we had REAL parents that would NEVER allow us to roam as free as a pack of wild animals because they though it was "cute".
As is so often the case THESE days, the "parents" of these children are barely out of school when they BECOME parents, so they've a lot to learn themselves...and quickly when it comes to dealing with an infant now in their care. It's new to them...novel, in fact, and these new parents (mostly young moms - the "boyfriend" has often bailed to do his thing elsewhere to another girl) have NO concept of parenting, in spite of all the educational material and programs aimed primarily at helping THEM (more government money wasted perhaps?) which many don't bother to avail themselves of. It's almost like these baby-mommas have this little "living action figure" that runs when they call it, talks when they talk to it, but also needs a lot of care as well (which they don't want to give to it because "baby-momma" wants to party with her friends). This is where these parents get bored (and grandma suddenly gets busy).
And THEIR parents aren't much better, being raised in this welfare mindset of victimology, where THEY didn't even have to properly "raise" THEIR children (now parents themselves before the age of 21). If it seems confusing to you "normals" out there...don't worry...that's OK. It's meant to be confusing. You're not supposed to fully comprehend the nuances of this type of behavior.
So now you have two primary reasons why this 2 year old was destined to perish by a hit and run driver.
1) It's the city's fault.
2) It's the parents' fault.
Just glad to know it's not MY fault...or yours, right?
My quadrant captain should know (after the last 4 years) that we have a SPEEDING problem on MY block, because I send those monthly emails saying what has transpired. Now you would "think" that after all this time, something would be done to reverse this problem.
WRONG.
Nothing has been done thus far. NO speed traps (which I recommended), NO signage with a POSTED speed (for our local "chronically stupid" crowd...which I ALSO recommended), and relatively little enforcement on the side streets (where most small children are USUALLY found).
Amazing, right?
As to changing the mindset of the parents? That's a whole other ballgame. All *I* can do, is keep them from running all over MY property (when unsupervised), but other than that, I have NO jurisdiction over what transpires elsewhere, and especially not in their homes (where the MOST education is needed). And it's not the SCHOOL'S place to do that either.
You have to realize that when you're brought up to disrespect authority, education goes down the crapper REAL fast. When you're brought up with no boundaries and very few (if any) guidelines for behavior, $hit WILL happen.
It's "Murphy's Law" in all it's glory.
Slowing the speeders the hell DOWN would be a damn good start. At least any accidents might be a bit more "survivable" for joggers, pedestrians, toddlers and other drivers. But even in lieu of this tragic death of Darshan Lott, I just cannot see anything happening to change the status quo. That's just the way things work (or not) down here. There will be a small outcry for a brief time, but the family members will forget soon enough, make some more babies to take their minds off of this, and move on with their pitiful lives.
Getting the parents to practice responsible behavior not only with themselves but with their children will do more than any speed sign could. Training children to NOT follow everyone all the time will work. So will keeping all their kids on "shorter leashes". I mean we already have laws that dictate that DOGS must be leashed when being walked. Must we do likewise to toddlers now? They don't call it "The Terrible Twos" for no reason. Things will happen, and happen FAST, so be proactive and stop things before they get out of hand not only NOW, but later as these children are growing up.
If there is one thing I would LOVE to see, it would be something that gets all these mooks in MY neighborhood BACK ON THE DAMN SIDEWALKS that the city (read taxpayers) provided for their sorry asses. When you walk (sometimes with toddlers, who are walking without holding a person's hand) down the MIDDLE OF THE STREET, you MUST be asking for trouble, so don't bitch a fit when it comes screaming down on you in excess of that 25 MPH speed limit, kapesh?
The largest hurdle this city (or any other major city with areas of ethnic diversity) has to overcome, is getting everyone to be on the same page when it comes to PUBLIC SAFETY. Anyone that believes that the police and fire departments are there to hold your hand as you wander through life is gravely mistaken. Police are there to ENFORCE the laws and ARREST those breaking the laws, while the firemen are there to SAVE lives when something unforeseen occurs.
YOU have to be able to make good, rational decisions when it comes to the basics of humanity such as civility, morality, ethics, and responsibility...the things your CHILDREN should be gleaning from YOU. And it's what YOU do in this regard that winds up being passed on to your children. But kids aren't stupid. They will also pick up on what you, as a parent do NOT do, such as setting boundaries and issuing consequences for bad behavior. And they WILL run with that too. So whatever parenting seeds you sow, you can rest assured that come "harvest time" the crop will show how well you "tended the fields"...good OR bad.
Was this toddler's death a tragedy?
Sure.
Was it preventable?
Yes, and on SO many levels.
Do I feel for the parent(s)?
Not even on a bad day, because they were much of the reason behind the 2 year old's death, and the sooner they realize that THEY could have prevented this, the better off THEY will be.
At least little Darshan doesn't have to worry about sexual predators, or becoming a druggie, or a rapist, or a murderer, or thief. He doesn't have to worry about becoming another deadbeat father leaving a trail of more young moms with the next generation of toddlers to tend to, and who could wind up as statistics on our streets.
His life would probably have been so much worse. Thankfully, it won't be. But we'll never know.
Then again, Darshan "could" have been the person who discovers a definitive cure for cancer, or finds a better, cheaper alternative to oil.
Sadly, we will never know THAT either...

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