Oh, Brother...It IS a Friday...
The start of yet another month in the city of apathy.
My, how the time flies.
So it's off to the grocery on our weekly jaunt to resupply the "troops" (that would be US and the cats), and to our amazement, this sojourn tried it's damnedest to become a major-league clusterf$ck!
All we could do was basically sit back and watch it transpire.
Allow me to elucidate.
We always go to SCOTTS, and those of you who regularly read this blog know of the foibles associated with this store EVER SINCE Krogers took over (a really huge mistake).
First stop - the DELI for our meats and cheeses.
Well, they DID have SWISS, but for the third week in a row...NO AMERICAN CHEESE (white OR yellow)...!!!
I mean WTF??
Last time I checked this was still AMERICA, and the most eaten cheese in AMERICA is:
(all together now)... AMERICAN (thank you).
I mean this is the cheese that the old welfare giveaways from those trailers were MADE of. Time was, you could get a damn BRICK of the stuff, and take it home to slice YOURSELF. Hell, they GAVE you so much of it, you would split it with another person that got flour...or powdered milk...or even rice.
When you get a standard burger at most ANY damn place, what cheese do YOU think they slap on that fried chunk of cow anyway? AMERICAN CHEESE. Check out ANY fast-food joint that makes burgers (and that is a $hitload), and the "cheese of choice" is always...AMERICAN.
And I won't even MENTION what cheese people ALWAYS seem to put on GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES.
I figures since we were CLOSER to Wisconsin (the cheese "capital" of the USA), getting a BASIC processed cheese (like AMERICAN) would be a helluva lot EASIER.
Now I could understand is someone came on the news and stated that INDIANA has inexplicably placed a BAN or moratorium on AMERICAN cheese (not that it would make any sense, but it IS Indiana), but for a MAJOR grocery chain to NOT have any for the past 3 weeks is nothing short of treasonous (and just a bit deplorable)!
And (according to the people at our local Scotts), there's NOT much DEMAND for it.
Funny thing...we bopped over to ALBRIGHT'S meats (on S. Calhoun), and THEY had yellow AMERICAN CHEESE...said it was a popular seller, too. Imagine that.
And here's what WIKI has to say about it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_cheese

And an article ON American cheese:

http://www.broowaha.com/article.php?id=3855

Someone at Scott's ain't fessin' up, are they?
Perhaps new management sucks?
Perhaps someone doesn't know HOW TO ORDER $hit?
Sorry, people, but I've got to go with Albright's on this one. And I'm sure most ALL of you have little or NO trouble with securing AMERICAN CHEESE for YOUR families, right?
But hey, I suppose we have to have a reason for the decline in our societal structure in America...it might as well start with the CHEESE that bears this nation's name.
And that was the beginning of our journey into idiocy.
We had to stop at the ATM, and wouldn't you know it....for the past several weeks, there was NOT ONE SOUL at it (because we didn't have to use it), but THIS week...a bloody LINE of cars. And of course, since it's the FIRST of the month, people have everyone ELSE'S card to dick with making withdrawals.
"Sure, gimme yo card, I can git da money fo you".
Well, thanks to my making fun at these technologically-challenged morons, those minutes passed quickly. Then, it was off to Family Dollar for cheap soda and other stuff. And of course we got behind a lady that had to have a damn life story-esque conversation with the cashier...like your life is THAT thrilling, you HAVE to share?
Gimme a break.
Finally, that ordeal was behind us, and we set off to grab some smokes (and I needed one after all this crap), and get our asses back to "Homestead Heights", where the locals will be waking up in about an hour to marvel us with their pathetic lives once again, through the magic of their acoustic cacophony and TNB.
Wow, never seemed to have this problem early on in our life in fort Wayne, and I have really never had this occur in any other city I've lived in. Must be all that GLOBAL WARMING causing this behavior.
Well, it IS August.
It's FRIDAY, it a NEW MONTH, and it's WELFARE WEEKEND. I cannot imagine a series of events that have managed to conveniently create this nexus with such fervor.
To quote Charlie Brown..."UUGGGHHH!"
But it can ALWAYS be worse...just wait and see.
Do have a SAFE and peaceful weekend!
And to Officer James Arnold of the FWPD:
Welcome back!