13 January 2009

Two For The Price Of One...
I didn't know whether to make this a "Tales From the SOUTH Side" day or a "Believe It Or Else" Day, so in the spirit of true fairness, we shall pursue both.
Far be it for me to deny you, the reading public, that which you might find a bit humorous.
As a preamble to the post, I want to (officially) go on record as saying that there ARE STUPID PEOPLE in this world. And that number seems to have grown significantly over the years, showing no signs of abating.
There's just NO getting around it (or them). "Facts is facts", as a friend used to say.
But to me, it's not just the sheer number of stupid people that bothers me, it's the LEVEL...the DEPTH of stupidity many will seek after.
Give me ONE, just one MARVELOUSLY stupid person, and they're worth TEN "regular" stupid people, ANY day.
Now stupid IS as stupid DOES, and everyone knows you can't FIX stupid, and still more believe that beauty is fleeting, but stupid is forever.
Yet ALL of us do stupid THINGS, at one time or another, but to some, it IS a lifestyle choice.
And how we deal with these people is what presents the real challenge to the rest of us.
In the "herd" mentality, the best we can hope for is for us to take a "stand-off" approach; keep them as far AWAY from us as possible., as often as possible
Many times, that is a lot easier said than done (think my neighborhood).
If it's a "one-on-one" scenario, not a problem.
We can deal with it mano y mano.
Curious thing about all these stupid people...they don't think OR believe that they ARE stupid.
Therein lies the real tragedy.
To them, what makes them stupid is perfectly normal.
--And now to our case in point:
It's been REAL cold outside, we've weathered ice storms, gusting winds with bone-chilling temperatures that would keep normal people inside unless absolutely necessary.
Now there are those that think (erroneously) that alcohol helps stave off the cold (and those that read YESTERDAY'S blog post here found out the truth in that fallacy).
And the evidence of alcohol consumption is no further away than in the middle of the street alongside my house.
Seems like someone's been to the liquor store for some fluidic courage. Nah, they're just trying to keep warm. They're stupid and can't help themselves. Right...what WAS I thinking?
Still, when you've "warmed up" thanks to that alcohol, what to do next?
Well, if you're like MOST of the folks around here, you give the weather the "middle finger salute" and....GET OUT THE BBQ GRILL!!!
Time for some eats!
That's right. While the normal people were inside keeping warm, these fine folks were a lot busier being STUPID outside their (FWHA) "crib" cooking on their tiny grill...how novel.
And by ALL means, don't cook out BACK, under a protected patio...oh, no. DO IT OUT FRONT!
Now it "could" be a case where the stove in broken (and believe me, you have to GO SOME to break one of those monsters), or it "could" be a case of the female NOT KNOWING how to WORK a stove (except as an auxiliary HEATER, and that qualifies as that "special kind of stupid"). Or it could be that they're just plain LA-ZY.
In any case, SOME education is warranted somewhere.
But people ARE stupid, right?
While my wife is not all that great around the KITCHEN when it comes to creating dishes (she cooks via the phone...lol), she AT LEAST knows WHERE THE HELL THE KITCHEN IS LOCATED, and what ALL the devices in it ARE FOR, and how to USE THEM PROPERLY. She is NOWHERE near stupid.
It's just that I like to cook (and I'm good at it), so sue me.
Perhaps it's time to TEACH these people what the hell is INSIDE a house and how to USE such devices, before you allow them to OCCUPY the damn house...'ya think?
Hell, it's not that we're better...we're just SMARTER.
--Now for the "Rest of the story", as Paul Harvey used to say.
This should place a smile upon your face, as well as educate you as to HOW things proceed in this nation's government.
Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Harry Reid's great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.
The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory.
On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription:
'Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times.
Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.'
So Judy recently e-mailed Democrat Congressman Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle.
Believe it or not, Harry Reid's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:
'Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.'
NOW THAT is how it's done folks!
That's real SPIN.
Believe it...or else.
And on THAT note, I'll leave you to deal with the stupid people in YOUR lives...
Stay warm, dry and safe out there
We're not out of the woods yet with the weather

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