Humpday Happenings...
Well well...middle of the week, almost the middle of the YEAR, and we're all smack dab in the middle of one of the WORST economic crises this nation has even seen.
At least we have CONSISTENCY!
I've decided to open up the "B- FILES" and take a gander at what's been accumulating, so brace yourselves, this might not be a pretty picture...but it will be enlightening. That I promise!
** From the LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON DEPARTMENT:
KIM JONG IL has "anointed" his successor, and who the hell BETTER to have to the helm of NORTH KOREA than Kim's hard-drinking SON...KIM JONG UL.

I don't make this crap up.

I don't think that ONE LETTER will make a helluva lot of difference as far as megalomania is concerned.
Okay, so here's the plan....we visit the kid, take a case of Jack Daniels , get him good and totally shit-faced, feed him a ham sandwich, and he passes out and dies in his own puke, just like Mama Cass. One problem down, folks!
** From the DEMOLISH IT IF 'YA GOT IT DEPARTMENT:
Looks like plans to save Tiger Stadium (in beautiful DETROIT)....(gags) has gone for naught. Plans were to have it become a MUSEUM, but I guess the city council couldn't find ENOUGH PEOPLE that would actually GO there. So, the stadium will be torn completely DOWN, as soon as council finds a bidder for the job. My take is to turn it into LOW-INCOME HOUSING...
Hell, it'll be turned into trash by the "locals" in NO time, trust me!
(just like MOST of Detroit already is)
** From the LEAVE IT THE HELL ALONE DEPARTMENT:
Some people just have WAY too much time on their primate hands, for NOW, some are asking how "nutritious" condiments are. We're talking KETCHUP (or catsup), MUSTARD, and MAYONNAISE (as in- mayonnaise a lot of creeps in my neighborhood).
WTH, folks?!?
These items are perfect JUST AS THEY FRIGGING ARE...!
Stop all this nutritious crap...they TASTE GOOD. I don't need a more nutritious mustard, and you can stick that Grey Poupon where the sun never shines. Ketchup is what it is...simple. My folks used to joke: "You gonna have some FOOD with that ketchup, son?"
And mayonnaise, although not good for the cholesterol, is fine AS IT IS...I don't want pepper jack or chili-flavored, or even ranch-style. Just give me PLAIN...OLD...MAYONNAISE, and none of that "miracle whip" garbage....that just is nasty sh*t!
Just lemme eat MY burgers and hot dogs the way I WANT TO...and you do yours...kapeesh?
** From the HE WAS A LOVING BOY DEPARTMENT:
Yepper, we made it to ELEVEN homicides in Ft. Wayne, with the shooting death of one, Maurio Kerone Edwards (you figure it out how to pronounce those first 2 names, I'm not into ebonicizing anything). He was found at the apartments at 1304 Fayette Drive, off of Decatur Road, after police were called to investigate several gunshots heard in the vicinity. His last address was given as South Calhoun Street, curiously enough.
Actually, his LAST address will be some 6x6x3 plot in a cemetery...if anyone is interested.
Here's the link to the whole story:
http://www.journalgazette.net/article/20090603/LOCAL07/306039971#
Police believe that DRUGS played a part in this latest homicide, as if damn near EVERY shooting death in MY part of town doesn't.
Edwards was sentenced back in September 2006 for TWO counts of dealing COCAINE, and was ordered to serve SIX years of a TEN year sentence. In December 2006, he was convicted of OWI.
He was projected to be released from prison in 2008.
Here it is 2009...and he's DEAD.
Now, I'm not a mathematician, but if someone was sentenced in 2006, and you ADD 6 years to that, it SHOULD be 2012 when he gets out, but the marvellously BLIND, DEAF and DUMB judicial system credited him for time already SERVED, and turned his sorry ass back out EARLY...only to get killed. Fitting ending to a life going nowhere in such a damn hurry.
At least in THAT regard, I can smile my ass off.
I don't consider this a "homicide", per se. I like to think of this as more of a PUBLIC SERVICE...one LESS dope dealer off MY damn streets. In some fashion, one could even call this "Urban Renewal". I mean it's a damn fine way to CLEAN UP a city's blighted area, right?
It just takes so LONG!
** Lastly, from the BUT IT'S ONLY A GAME DEPARTMENT:
TETRIS turns 25 years old in just a few short days. Not too shabby for Mother Russia, hmm?
Such a simple game - fit the shapes together as they fall...and it's so damn annoying in execution. How many hours have we all spent trying to get to that NEXT level, as they keep speeding up when they drop?
Answer: TOO damn many...LOL!
Perhaps this innocent little game was a ploy to divert our attention from all the other crap that was going on behind our backs...
I mean, world leaders LOVE to delve into the wonderful world of MISDIRECTION, don't they?
Look at the state of our economy, for instance.
We were too busy "Tetrising" our hours away, while Barney Frank and his cronies were doing the nasty with Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac...who'da thunk? As we tried time and again to get that ONE piece to drop correctly, car companies were tanking, housing markets were failing, lending agencies were going belly-up, and there we sat....cursing the controller of that Tetris game.
Yes, an insidious plot to foil the AMERICAN WILL and SPIRIT.
It might be a tad late, but WE'RE ONTO YOU NOW, by golly!
We KNOW what you've all done to this nation, and we're NOT gonna take this lying down ANY longer.
This nation is still a great one, and we're paying careful attention...NOW.
(which reminds me, where the hell are the cheat codes for my HALO game anyway...I've just GOT to get to that next level?)
Have a good hump day, and...as always,
Stay safe out there, America!