Friday Follies...
Welcome to another weekend...a FATHER'S DAY weekend, in fact.
Now, I'll be getting to my thoughts regarding father's day in a little bit, so bear with me, as I have a prologue of sorts to begin today's post.
Last night was my "must see TV" night, with the shows Police Women of Memphis and Mall Cops (Bloomington, MN), and you could say that weather-wise, these cities differ greatly. Bloomington has a LOT of snow (as anyone from Minnesota will tell you), while Memphis has that sub-tropical "summertime and the livin' is easy" tone to it.
You have to remember that Mall Cops DOES take place (for the most part) INDOORS, while Police Women of Memphis is OUTDOORS.
That doesn't mean that crime knows the difference, though.
The Mall of America has it's own security force, and with good reason...the mall is SO damn HUGE.
And you have the usual types of crime, D&D (drunk and disorderly), fights, shoplifting...you get the idea.
Last night's show had some black "yoots" that just HAD to bring their particular brand of "cultural diversity" to the mall.
With the usual resulting fighting.
I don't know what it is with these people,. that they can't seem to control their carnal and bellicose urges, especially in a venue that has SO many witnesses. Luckily, the police and mall staff BAN such people from the mall (after they get caught, that is).
In Memphis, the issues are the same with blacks, who comprise 62.4% of the population of that once nice city (of over 650,000 - 19th in the nation). Now, I can't seem to figure out WHY this constant need to fight, or otherwise cause some sort of trouble follows them like a plague.
What I do know is that it certainly DOES, and they must be okay with that, as evidenced by what I've seen in my neighborhood in Fort Wayne. These people are quite comfortable making others UNcomfortable wherever they move to.
The closer such people have gotten to our little slice of normalcy, a few things have changed markedly:
More crime.
More trash and litter.
More noise.
More unsupervised kids.
The list does go on, but these are the most noticeable.
Now, I'm sure ALL these people had a man that fathered them somewhere.
But the REAL question is a much more simpler one...
Did ANY of them have a REAL FATHER?
Do any of them even CARE about who fathered them?
Many of these young black men couldn't give a rat's ass about their "father", and that speaks VOLUMES as to why we have problems with these folks.
Welcome to another weekend...a FATHER'S DAY weekend, in fact.Now, I'll be getting to my thoughts regarding father's day in a little bit, so bear with me, as I have a prologue of sorts to begin today's post.
Last night was my "must see TV" night, with the shows Police Women of Memphis and Mall Cops (Bloomington, MN), and you could say that weather-wise, these cities differ greatly. Bloomington has a LOT of snow (as anyone from Minnesota will tell you), while Memphis has that sub-tropical "summertime and the livin' is easy" tone to it.
You have to remember that Mall Cops DOES take place (for the most part) INDOORS, while Police Women of Memphis is OUTDOORS.
That doesn't mean that crime knows the difference, though.
The Mall of America has it's own security force, and with good reason...the mall is SO damn HUGE.
And you have the usual types of crime, D&D (drunk and disorderly), fights, shoplifting...you get the idea.
Last night's show had some black "yoots" that just HAD to bring their particular brand of "cultural diversity" to the mall.
With the usual resulting fighting.
I don't know what it is with these people,. that they can't seem to control their carnal and bellicose urges, especially in a venue that has SO many witnesses. Luckily, the police and mall staff BAN such people from the mall (after they get caught, that is).
In Memphis, the issues are the same with blacks, who comprise 62.4% of the population of that once nice city (of over 650,000 - 19th in the nation). Now, I can't seem to figure out WHY this constant need to fight, or otherwise cause some sort of trouble follows them like a plague.What I do know is that it certainly DOES, and they must be okay with that, as evidenced by what I've seen in my neighborhood in Fort Wayne. These people are quite comfortable making others UNcomfortable wherever they move to.
The closer such people have gotten to our little slice of normalcy, a few things have changed markedly:More crime.
More trash and litter.
More noise.
More unsupervised kids.
The list does go on, but these are the most noticeable.
Now, I'm sure ALL these people had a man that fathered them somewhere.
But the REAL question is a much more simpler one...
Did ANY of them have a REAL FATHER?Do any of them even CARE about who fathered them?
Many of these young black men couldn't give a rat's ass about their "father", and that speaks VOLUMES as to why we have problems with these folks.
Sure, some men don't deserve to become fathers, or make lousy fathers, and I can fully understand why some moms take their kids as far away from such men as possible.
You do have to consider that any child that does not have a father figure in their household will be at a disadvantage in life.
That's not to say they won;t grow up to become good people...many do, with mom acting as BOTH parents, and that ain't easy, people.
It's difficult enough to be ONE parent, let alone TWO.
(and I'm not even a parent...I've just been told as much by many others)
A FATHER is someone that, in a normal family (from times long ago it seems) used to be the "bread-winner"...the person who made the money and thereby made it possible for MOM to run the house.Dad never really "ran the house"...he was too busy working at some job 40+ hours a week, so that the family could live a relatively normal life.
Mom ran the house, which meant that DAD didn't have to, giving him time to rest from that job.
In our house, it was a real good balancing act. Each parent had their respective tasks, duties, and responsibilities.
But when it came to me (their child) both worked equally well (and hard) TOGETHER.
Most of the time, they were soloists, but when it came down to raising a child, it was TEAMWORK that won the game.
In a traditional family, each parent works both apart and in unison where required.
With a father about the house, there is order, discipline, and a lot of fun times.
like I said...it's a balancing act.
A father never gives too much, and yet never gives too little.
He gives the family the right amount of everything, if he's being a GOOD father, that is.
Now, I'll be the FIRST one to tell you that in OUR neighborhood, Father's Day is the MOST CONFUSING day of the year to these locals.
And with good reason.
We've got too many kids HAVING kids these days.
So, how can a person become an adult for their child when they have never fully grown up themselves?
Well, there's either one of TWO outcomes to that query.
1) You learn to grow up REAL fast, make a few mistakes along the way, and hopefully learn FROM them, and basically get busy becoming the parent that you are.
Or...
2) You never grow up, shove responsibility to an older relative, and keep on having fun, until the child is old enough to have fun with you.
Personally, I would opt for the FIRST choice, if I were in that position.
Many of my "neighbors" like # 2 much better, because it's EASIER.
My father was someone I admired, looked up to (even when I was taller than he was), sought out when I had questions, and was basically my hero.
You do have to consider that any child that does not have a father figure in their household will be at a disadvantage in life.
That's not to say they won;t grow up to become good people...many do, with mom acting as BOTH parents, and that ain't easy, people.
It's difficult enough to be ONE parent, let alone TWO.(and I'm not even a parent...I've just been told as much by many others)
A FATHER is someone that, in a normal family (from times long ago it seems) used to be the "bread-winner"...the person who made the money and thereby made it possible for MOM to run the house.Dad never really "ran the house"...he was too busy working at some job 40+ hours a week, so that the family could live a relatively normal life.
Mom ran the house, which meant that DAD didn't have to, giving him time to rest from that job.
In our house, it was a real good balancing act. Each parent had their respective tasks, duties, and responsibilities.
But when it came to me (their child) both worked equally well (and hard) TOGETHER.Most of the time, they were soloists, but when it came down to raising a child, it was TEAMWORK that won the game.
In a traditional family, each parent works both apart and in unison where required.
With a father about the house, there is order, discipline, and a lot of fun times.
like I said...it's a balancing act.
A father never gives too much, and yet never gives too little.
He gives the family the right amount of everything, if he's being a GOOD father, that is.
Now, I'll be the FIRST one to tell you that in OUR neighborhood, Father's Day is the MOST CONFUSING day of the year to these locals.
And with good reason.
We've got too many kids HAVING kids these days.
So, how can a person become an adult for their child when they have never fully grown up themselves?
Well, there's either one of TWO outcomes to that query.
1) You learn to grow up REAL fast, make a few mistakes along the way, and hopefully learn FROM them, and basically get busy becoming the parent that you are.
Or...
2) You never grow up, shove responsibility to an older relative, and keep on having fun, until the child is old enough to have fun with you.
Personally, I would opt for the FIRST choice, if I were in that position.
Many of my "neighbors" like # 2 much better, because it's EASIER.
My father was someone I admired, looked up to (even when I was taller than he was), sought out when I had questions, and was basically my hero. Not a bad legacy if you ask me.
He was someone who would tell me "war stories", bounce me on his knee, take me to the playground (after a long night shift when I was preschool), and a person who was more real to me than anyone else, save mom.
He could get angrier than a junkyard dog, happier than a lark, and pensive as a philosopher.
He seemed like God on earth, and yet he always answered to a higher authority, and he let you know that.
He was my travel guide on trips, my chauffeur, my bodyguard (at home), my fishing and shooting buddy, and he bought me my first beer when I was 21 ( I bought the second round).
He helped get me my first job, and he damn near wept when I graduated high school.
And yeah, I still miss him.
It's things like this (and much, much more) that reminds me what Father's Day means.
Sadly, many people grow up without such people in their lives, and that should never be.
Young men, roaming our streets, looking for someone to take the place of a father...and often searching in vane, looking for the "easy out" to fill the void. We see the result in our crime reports every single day.
We see the result from a lack of a father figure, especially in minority areas.
Too many young men who have fathered children can't be bothered, for they are STILL "looking for their father", in some fashion.
Call them the "lost boys"...for they have missed out on a great treasure in life.
A chance to become a REAL father, not just someone who made a woman pregnant.
So, even though I am "fatherless" on Father's day (since 1978), I STILL regard that day with a special feeling.
I'd like to think Dad did OK when it came to being a REAL FATHER.
Would I wish everyone could all be as fortunate as I was to have known my father.
Have a great weekend, be well, make a difference to someone, and...
Stay safe out there, America.
He was someone who would tell me "war stories", bounce me on his knee, take me to the playground (after a long night shift when I was preschool), and a person who was more real to me than anyone else, save mom.
He could get angrier than a junkyard dog, happier than a lark, and pensive as a philosopher.
He seemed like God on earth, and yet he always answered to a higher authority, and he let you know that.
He was my travel guide on trips, my chauffeur, my bodyguard (at home), my fishing and shooting buddy, and he bought me my first beer when I was 21 ( I bought the second round).
He helped get me my first job, and he damn near wept when I graduated high school.
And yeah, I still miss him.
It's things like this (and much, much more) that reminds me what Father's Day means.
Sadly, many people grow up without such people in their lives, and that should never be.
Young men, roaming our streets, looking for someone to take the place of a father...and often searching in vane, looking for the "easy out" to fill the void. We see the result in our crime reports every single day.
We see the result from a lack of a father figure, especially in minority areas.
Too many young men who have fathered children can't be bothered, for they are STILL "looking for their father", in some fashion.
Call them the "lost boys"...for they have missed out on a great treasure in life.
A chance to become a REAL father, not just someone who made a woman pregnant.
So, even though I am "fatherless" on Father's day (since 1978), I STILL regard that day with a special feeling.
I'd like to think Dad did OK when it came to being a REAL FATHER.Would I wish everyone could all be as fortunate as I was to have known my father.
Have a great weekend, be well, make a difference to someone, and...
Stay safe out there, America.
4 comments:
Dear Bob,
Your writing always gives me such an interesting perspective. You start out talking tough, and then we come to your great concern for those who are lost on the road to a good life.
I think overcoming bad parenting is very difficult. I had partial parental structure. For me, learning how things were supposed to be came from school. But my school was not overwhelmed. It was also not very personal.
So I agree, parenting is the Top Job. The question is, for those who have not had it, how to rise above? This question is the one that occupies me when I try to think of solutions.
How do we turn a person with no experience of good parenting into a good parent?
The challenges are many, the answers terribly essential.
Like you, I would like to honor the Good Dads out there. To all the Real Fathers, including yours,
Ann T.
Ann:
YOu can either THANK or BLAME my Engish teachers for my writing "style"...LOL.
Your choice.
AS to this probllem of MIA Fathers
(and I don't mean those who gave their lives in service to this nation)...
There's PLENTY of real, honest-to-God role MODELS to choose from, IF they are sought out.
If being a parent means you "model" yourself after those who made some kind of diference to you...fantastic!
I liken it to sorting out the traits to acquire the best possible example.
You glean the best from people, discard the non sequitor, and then combine it with yourself to form the BASIS for a person a child can learn from.
All the "fine tuning" comes later on, because being a parent does NOT mean you automatically get an "instruction manual".
But it's a method of learning that CAN be achieved, as well as appreciated by ALL those involved, especially the children.
But hey, that's just my thoughts on it...I could be wrong, but according to all the parents I've known, that's pretty much how it shakes out.
Have yourself a great weekend, and thank you for taking time to stop on by.
Bob G:
So what do those people from Swedes from Minisooota know about snow? My hero, Roger Miller, sings that:
God didn't make the little green apples, and it don't snow in Minneapolis when the winter comes.
And there's no such thing as make-believe, puppy dogs or autumn leaves, no bb guns.
God didn't make the little green apples, and it don't snow in Minneapolis when the winter comes.
And Bloomington is just a wide spot in the road to house the Twin Cities airport and THE Mall of America.
Don't watch Mall Cops but I got halfway through Paul Blart-Mall Cop before I turned it off.
As for Mall Security, all malls have it, but most are the unarmed variety. If you ever noticed at Glenbrook, the only guns you see are off-duty cops earning some extra bucks. But if you have been in the mall when a ruckus starts, Fort Wayne cops are suddenly all over the place. However they do it, Glenbrook is a pretty safe place to shop.
Gadfly:
So Bloomington is the glue holding the twin cities together?
never knew that, but I guess SOMETHING has to...LOL.
Like the Roger Miller reference...
As to Glenbrook...never had a single problem there...
But it makes sense that IF any trouble breaks out, cops are suddenly all over...after all, most EVERY, SINGLE police officer in this city (and county) LIVE up there...LMAO!
Hey, thanks for stopping by...and have a great Father's Day!
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