Tales From the SouthSide...
Normally, I'd spend this time covering stories of note, but today, I think I'm going to "change" things up a bit.
After all, variety IS the spice of life, is it not?
But before I get into some "change you CAN believe in", let's briefly visit a few stories of "note", such AS last evening's Presidential press conference.
-- Yes, friends, a PRESS CONFERENCE is when questions are asked of the President, and he responds with answers off the top of his head, because he's informed, knowledgeable, has been reading all his staff reports AND has been cribbing notes (mental or written) from those briefings.
Last night was certainly NOT THAT MANY of the above.
What we had INSTEAD, was a waste of good air time.
What we had INSTEAD was only THIRTEEN QUESTIONS, pre-screened and by specified reporters with teleprompter answers.
I mean the name Mr. Roboto takes on a whole new meaning now, doesn't it? Helluva talking head.
Now I WILL give the President one saving grace; he IS rather cool, calm and collected about this. He's got a smooth demeanor, but that is lost in the contrived manner in which this televised "event" was brought to us.
The word SCRIPTED comes to mind. It could not have been better orchestrated if Ron Howard wrote the screenplay, John Williams did the background music, and Stephen King did the novel!
I kept looking, but I didn't see anyone's hand up the President's back as he spoke...now that is some GOOD Special effects!
But with over and done with, maybe we can get to tasks more AT HAND, like preserving our DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC...'ya think?
-- All this flap over Arlen Spector jumping parties (when I thought he liked to jump political sharks) is somewhat DESERVED.
I never thought much of him when I lived in Pennsy, and I think the same of him living in Indiana. He IS one thing above all else...a SURVIVOR. I'd hate to be on the island with HIM during a challenge. And we thought the late LON CHANEY was the man of a THOUSAND FACES!
I say good...let Spector be the problem of the democrats, not that I'm a Republican...I'm neither.
I'm not swayed by ideology or by political affiliation and rhetoric.
I will say that Spector should be the NEW poster child for TERM LIMITS.
-- Interesting thing I heard on the police scanner last evening. Two TEENS were arrested for outstanding warrants (failure to appear) in connection with a citation issued for WALKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!!!
That blew me the f*ck A-WAY!
And here I thought Internal Affairs shunned such policies by the local police.
I mean it "could" be construed as being racially BIASED, simply because too many blacks DO walk in the street, when a perfectly GOOD SIDEWALK is mere inches AWAY.
Hey, maybe it was a "rookie mistake" issuing that citation, and after a reprimand, all will be forgiven, and the kids can go BACK to being a traffic hindrance....the way it's (apparently) MEANT to be down on the SOUTH side of the city.
OR...we could be seeing a new "era" in community-oriented policing.
And with that, it's time to segue into something I like to call:
YOU KNOW YOU LIVE ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF FORT WAYNE IF....
So keep the coffee away from the keyboard, and keep the Windex handy for the monitor...you might just need it.
You just KNOW you live on the SOUTH side of Fort Wayne if:
-Your pistol is always next to the salad fork at the dinner table.
-You have NOWHERE to shop...BUT everywhere else.
-You receive OVER 350 wrong numbers asking for "Ray's Snackbar".
-You weigh your words carefully when using "crack" and "house" in the same sentence.
-A YIELD sign means "keep going", & a through street means "come to a complete stop".
-You have a liquor store within walking distance, no matter WHERE you live.
-Memorial Day doesn't honor the dead...it WAKES them UP due to the loud music.
-You see more CORN-ROWS than ROWS OF CORN in the community gardens.
-You can piss off people in the area JUST by being WHITE ...and BREATHING.
-You know all the X-rated lyrics from the latest rap songs you hear TWO blocks away.
-You value your "concealed-carry" permit MORE than your driver's license.
-You greet almost everyone by pointing an index finger at them and going "bang".
-You're one of a VERY few on your block that ACTUALLY OWNS a house, furniture, AND a car.
-Your neighborhood is becoming the "Sam's Club" of illegal drugs.
-There is ONE lawnmower that is driven around in someone's trunk to cut everyone else's lawn.
-You live by 3 rules: Get up. Survive. Go to Bed.
-The good news in your area is that the HOMICIDE rate is lower than last year.
-The bad news is that all the people that NEEDED to be shot....weren't.
-You find a way to wear your gun in the SHOWER.
-Your insurance agent calls to see if you "need" more coverage.
-You see more TEAM LOGO wear on your STREET than at an ALL STAR game.
-The USPS is looking into "up-armoring" their mail trucks.
-Getting a "neighbor" to shut up means cuffing their hands behind them.
-City code won't allow a permit for you to dig a MOAT around your house.
-Community-Oriented Policing to YOU means becoming a vigilante.
-A Bradley Fighting Vehicle would make a great "second" car.
-You "Shop with a cop" because it's safer than doing it any other way.
-DUB refers to a set of wheels and NOT an audio recording term.
-The basement of your house has been converted to a fortified gun emplacement.
-A SINGLE rental tenant will inexplicably become FIVE people after a month.
-You're getting to know the sector police officers on a FIRST-NAME basis.
-House arrest means the DOG is wearing the ankle bracelet as a collar.
-You ask the police department if they have any "ex" K-9 dogs available to a good home.
-Your area is a "high-crime" area only because there are NO donut shops.
-Someone stole your gazing ball, and then tried to DRIBBLE it down the street.
-A neighbor moves next to a PIG FARM because it's BETTER than THIS neighborhood.
-Ghetto-opoly is your favorite board game.
And...finally:
-An episode of COPS is being filmed ON YOUR LAWN...at 2 AM.
So, there you have it. See all the "fun" you're missing by NOT living down here?
I mean who NEEDS a new ballpark, or even the 3 Rivers Festival when you have all THIS stuff going down...DAILY, hmm?
And if you ever get bored, you can always toss sticks at dead bodies in Reservoir park, like some kids were doing last night, or toss a rock at a robin trying to snag a worm for her chicks.
You can hang out front of the rental crib, smoke a doobie, and not worry about getting busted (until I take a picture of you and forward it to the FWPD). You can boom down the street at 4AM and not get bothered (except when I shine that laser or spotlight into your car window and light up your damn dashboard).
Yes sir...never a dull moment. And people ask WHY I stay here...silly question.
For the TARGET PRACTICE...what else?
Plus, I like to pursue something called NATURAL JUSTICE.
But you'd have to ask Judge Roy Bean or Frank Castle about that.
So, take it easy today, and always...
Stay safe out there, America.

Humpday Happenings...
Wow, middle of the week, AND the 100th day of the Obama administration.
Can we stand the strain?
Where is Millard Fillmore when you NEED him anyway?
Still, it could always be worse...I'm just trying to figure out HOW.
How, indeed...
In the meantime, let's sneak a look at what ELSE is occurring about out happy little planet, shall we?
-- From the "Gee whiz, it's like DEJA VU all over again" Department:
The recent flyover of Manhattan by Air Force One has brought a LOT of criticism, and deservedly so.
I mean these people have been through PLENTY this decade, and the LAST thing I'm sure they WANT to see is ANOTHER honking huge airliner greasing the skyscrapers of their city, right?
Talk about flashbacks!
Everyone from the White House (who advised those corporate shrubs to NOT fly their PRIVATE JETS to the economic hearings recently, and has mandated ways to reduce everyone ELSE'S CARBON FOOTPRINT), on down to the Pentagon and DoD are getting their fingers into THIS pie, as well they should. And it WOULD have been nice to notify the MAYOR of NYC when they decided to pull this stunt. Former mayor Rudy Giuliani didn't have anything nice to say about this, and who can blame him?
-- From the "Another one bites the dust" Department:
I spoke yesterday about PONTIAC going the way of the Passenger Pigeon (after Oldsmobile did earlier this millennium), and now we can add even more "orphans" to the mix. Say goodbye to HUMMER (civvie sales anyway, unless you want to get some old surplus ones), SATURN and SAAB.
Damn shame about them, I like Saturn's no-nonsense approach to sales, and SAAB was always a SAFE car.
I have a friend who is ALIVE today, thanks to a SAAB 800 coupe!
And unless there is a drastic change of the status quo, I don't expect much from CHRYSLER and their "union" with FIAT. Cripes, of ALL the car companies to merge with, they HAD to get FIAT!
This is the Italian car company that has a history of retaining the same model style for DECADES, and produced a series of sub-compacts (that looked remarkably like the YUGO) in the 1980s which had a really bad "flaw" in them. The car liked to rust out and break at the firewall. Not the best way to get that "warm n fuzzy" while tooling down a highway, is it?
My jury is going to be out on these guys until I see something positive.
-- From the "George Patton died way too soon" Department:
Pentagon sources are now saying that the war in Afghanistan is presenting problems unique to the country, and will surely be a lot more difficult to achieve victory there, even on the order of the victory in Iraq.
Well, you DO have more than just "hot and sand" in Afghanistan. You also got those really cool MOUNTAINS (with snowfall even) that make fantastic hideouts for the Taliban. Logistically, it's a nightmare, and that's being way too kind.
You also don't have the urban areas in the size and quantity that you enjoy in Iraq.
Not to mention, you have a population dispersed over an area the size of ENGLAND, and it will present problems. Obama promises another 22K troops and NATO says they're sending 5K.
Makes me see a lot more clearly why the USSR pulled out of there when they did. Maybe they thought their war in Afghanistan wasn't sustainable nor were able to achieve victory.
One thing's for sure, if you figure into this mix the state of Pakistan, this can soon become a lot more volatile area, especially with NUKES figuring into all this. While I'm saying they will most likely NOT be used as traditional weapons such as a Hiroshima device, I will concede that the potential for some radioactive scenario (low yield device w/ heavily distributed toxicity) in some heavily populated area HERE OR ABROAD takes on a new aspect to terrorism.
Couple that with the constant threat of some bio-device and you can sow the seeds of confusion and misdirection VERY nicely.
-- From the "In a pig's eye and pass the bacon" Department:
Cases of SWINE FLU continue to mount, but I strongly caution that all you guys and gals out there DO NOT PANIC.
Listen up, about THIRTY SIX THOUSAND (that's 36,000) people die EVERY DAMN YEAR from INFLUENZA!
Them's the FACTS.
And curiously, we never hear all that much about THAT. So why go and get your undies in a bunch over another strain of flu?
All you REALLY have to do for now is just take PROPER PRECAUTIONS to minimize the chance of contracting the flu (or the common cold for that matter). This is a case where a little COMMON SENSE goes a LONG way.
You don't have to run to the military surplus outlets and grab up some LVL III HAZMAT gear, trust me!
You SHOULD be washing your paws off a bit more frequently.
Those with depleted immune systems need to be extra careful.
And should you come down with the bug, the number one thing I advise is to STAY HYDRATED.
You will get a fever, and fever loves nothing more than to be on the RISE.
When that happens, the body gets water from everywhere else, and that leads to dehydration, and even HIGHER fever.
I know...been there myself, and it's not a pretty scenario.
When your fever gets too high, your body has difficulty holding anything down, which INCLUDES WATER. Also, if your temperature rises above 104F, you run the risk of brain damage...or even death.
Like everything else, your BRAIN likes to stay comfy, and now you know the reason behind the saying: "Keep a cool head".
So remain calm, stay positive and focused on the tasks at hand, and you'll get by with as few problems as possible.
-- Finally, I was noticing the memorial for victims of violent crime here in Ft. Wayne, and I was amazed at the LOW turnout, but on the other hand, I can understand why.
The venue could never hold the ACTUAL NUMBER of victims, and with good reason:
We are ALL victims of violent crime.
Sure, maybe some of us don't have it knocking on our door, or dividing our family, but we DO suffer the fallout from such violence, nonetheless.
We ALL share the burden inflicted upon us when we have to hire MORE police to keep us safe.
We ALL expect our streets to be safe and that we will be protected.
We ALL foot the bill for added security, either at home, in our vehicles, or at our workplace and schools.
And still, the violence rears it ugly head.
There will always be those few, misguided miscreants, for whatever reason, will see themselves as some type of perverse "final authority" on earth. And that simply cannot be tolerated by civilized society.
We can pray about it...we can legislate it, we can debate it until the sun sets, and never really come to some point of closure.
What we can do, is be AWARE.
We CAN aid the police whenever possible.
We CAN report behaviors and situations that are contrary to normal, pose an imminent threat to our lives, and deny us the QUALITY OF LIFE that our laws say we are supposed to have as citizens of whatever city, state, or nation we happen to be part of.
Or we can nothing, and when we do that, THAT is exactly what WILL get done.
So, wherever the four winds happen to take you today, please...
Stay safe out there, America.

Rest In Peace...
With the advent of cutbacks, downsizings, and bailouts, the once venerable name of PONTIAC has fallen from the umbrella moniker of General Motors, following the demise of the Oldsmobile line a couple of years ago.
Now, I thought about doing something Shakespearean like Antony's speech to Rome when Julius Caesar got whacked, but I haven't the "panache" that the BARD had. What I DO have is something for you to peruse.
For ALL the thumbnail history of this motorcar division of GM (and a damn good read), here's the WIKI link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pontiac
Now, as most of you regular readers know, I've been a Pontiac driver for close to 26 YEARS...with the SAME CAR (that has yet to surpass the 60K point on the odometer).
Back when I bought my Pontiac, that division was STILL a MAJOR player when it came to automobiles, and was outselling ALL but CHEVROLET.
But that was THEN...and this is NOW.
And NOW...I am officially PISSED THE HELL OFF.
When it comes to General Motors, we used to joke that it was the SECOND LARGEST corporation AFTER the Catholic Church...LOL!
The (soon to be closed) Wilmington, DE plant was quiet testimony to being one of the largest facilities I've ever seen. It would take over 2 MINUTES to pass the place (doing 55) along I-95. That's some big ass plant, people. Acres and acres of spanking new cars would wait for loading onto the rail carriers to the rest of the country (and even the world).
Personally, I've really enjoyed my "relationship" with Pontiac since 1983 (my car was assembled in the Norwood Ohio plant that closed back in 1987 for you historians out there).
Aside from a few (normal, to be espected) hiccups along the way, it's been relatively low-cost and damn fun. But the ravages of time do wear on man AND machine, so the old Firebird needs a little "tweaking" to get it back up to factory specs...no biggie.
Still, the abandonment (what else can one call it?) of Pontiac by General Motors is akin to casting off a productive, intelligent child, and that speaks volumes to our societal state. Nice analogy there.
When you stop to consider ALL the history that Pontiac created over ONLY 83 years of life, it boggles the mind.
Today, we have NO ONE with the talent, the perspicacity, and the balls like GM did when it had guys like Bunky Knudsen and John DeLorean working for their Pontiac motor division.
These were men who TRULY knew what it meant to think OUTSIDE the box (or the realm of probability), and create cars that put a shitload of money into GM's coffers!
Now, I could go into all the innovations that Pontiac pioneered, but if you read the WIKI link, you'll find out for yourselves.
Suffice it to say, that Pontiac was, in many respects, the FLAGSHIP division of GM for years, if not decades.
(And who can argue with such a LOVELY car like THAT, hmm?)
Whatever Chevy, or Buick, or even Oldsmobile did, PONTIAC did it better...and most times FASTER.
Even during the oil embargo of the 70s, Pontiac still produced cars that SOLD...and sold damn well. I'll bet you didn't know that the 75 MILLIONTH car (that's a LOT of cars) to roll off of ANY GM line...was in fact, a PONTIAC!
This was a time when 400K cars of the SAME MAKE were produced...AND bought. AND they were PONTIACS (Trans AM series for one).
Suddenly the music went away, like so many lyrics from a Don McLean song.
It was when all of GM's cars began to become poor excuses for "clones" of one another (as well as foreign imports) that problems started...and flourished.
There was no longer notable model lines like CATALINA, TEMPEST, LE MANS, or even the iconic GTO.
The FIREBIRD/TRANS AM had it's wings clipped back in 2004, and the BONNEVILLE followed a year after that, only to be supplanted with more "catchy" nomenclatures like G6, and G8...(GEE WHIZ, Wally, what the f*ck is that supposed to be? A car?).
The GRAND AM was even gone.
And what EVER happened to the FIERO?
The mid-engine sports coupe (seen here) with the "enduraflex" body panels and "space frame" construction?
Gone, after only a handful of years.
Thankfully, the Pontiac VIBE is still about, and that's a damn practical vehicle. The missus was even thinking about getting one.
So much for THAT idea, eh?
The phrase USED to proclaim:
"PONTIAC - WE BUILD EXCITEMENT"
Today..not so much, unless we're referring to the times when cars were REAL CARS, and not some cookie-cutter stamping that was sub-assembled in Mexico with parts from 35 other countries.
Yeah, it sure is NOT the motoring world I used to remember.
And to think that Pontiac was pretty much the last "horse out of the stable", as it were, regarding (new back then) GM divisions.
So maybe they weren't AS CHEAP as a CHEVY...or not AS OPULENT as a BUICK, not AS LARGE as an OLDSMOBILE, and certainly not in the same class AS a CADDY, but the division found it's OWN niche nicely, and consistently surpassed the sales of other divisions within GM.
Yeah...I'm pissed off alright.
I get pissed off at short-sighted namby-pambys that can't see past their damn billfold. I get pissed when REAL innovation is sidelined in lieu of competition numbers, kissing other nation's automotive asses, and profit margins. Sometimes you have to take a dive into the red, or go out on a limb for a year or so, until you get back in the black...Pontiac did just that, oft times blowing away the competition (within theri OWN company to boot), and surprising the hell out of the heads of GM.
I get pissed when I see good, old-fashioned AMERICAN ingenuity get tossed out the window with the bath water.
That WAS what Pontiac was all about.
They were about doing the improbable, even behind the "bosses" backs, in order to show the people what a car company (read division) WAS CAPABLE of doing. And the bosses couldn't get the thank yous off of their lips FAST enough when these engineers and workers produced cars that were at the top of their game.
But it's time to put that all to rest.
The patient has expired, the plug has been pulled, and little if anything will really be said on the patient's behalf.
We'll just let it all fade into another sunset...
Or will we?
Pontiac will live on, if ONLY in the cars produced before it's untimely cessation, along with the drivers and car-lovers that preserve as many as they can, and will ensure that happens.
In many ways, PONTIAC might even become BIGGER than it was when it was part of GM.
People are funny that way...they embrace much of what is good...and so often, for the right reasons.
As for me?
I'll keep tooling around in my PONTIAC, and should it eventually expire, I will feel as if another member of MY family has passed. Driving will definitely be missing something when that day arrives.
So, where ever you travel today, and no matter HOW MANY Pontiacs you might happen to pass...
Stay safe out there, America.

Monday Musings...
OK, so it's NOT July in Indiana...but it sure FEELS like it, doesn't it?
Never fear, though. We're supposed to return to more "seasonal" weather by tomorrow.
But I guess it COULD be worse.
We COULD have gotten TEN INCHES OF SNOW, like people did last week in Wisconsin.
Still, it's weather like this that reminds me that I'm no longer a spring chicken, when it comes to temperature tolerances.
When we were all young, we thought NOTHING about how COLD it was...or how HOT it was.
We'd go outside in below freezing weather, play for a few HOURS, then come back covered in snow, to which Mom would chide us for our folly.
During the Summer, we'd spend hours in the blazing sun, getting charred several ways to Tuesday and looking like some dinner special at RED LOBSTER!
And we didn't mind one damn bit.
Today, it's a whole other story.
We tend to only go outside in the winter when it's ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, like to shovel the walk, or run up the car in the garage. We're quite content to remain in our "caves", safe and WARM, all wrapped in our "Snuggies", sipping some hot chocolate, and hibernating until Springtime, like some bear in the woods.
It's not as bad in the Summertime, though...
We might actively seek out the nearest store/mall/restaurant with A/C, when we dash from our AIR-CONDITIONED VEHICLES, which we drove from our AIR-CONDITIONED HOUSES. Yessiree...nothing says comfort better than a nice 72 degree house/car/store/theater with a relative humidity of about 35% on a day where the temps are up tickling the CENTURY MARK, right?
BUT...there are those times we (as men, anyway) have to exercise our prerogative to devolve into primitive man for a brief time, and fire up the GRILL for a cookout!
THEN, and ONLY then, can we suffer the heat, the humidity, and the bugs, ALL for the sake of those "properly prepared" bits of charred animal flesh.
Nothing comes even close.
Like I said, my tolerance for extreme temperatures is too often tested these days.
I usually like to get out and mow the lawn EARLY, and that would mean ASAP after day's break.
I see others who are out in the heat of the day, and that's simply not right. That's like taking someone with COPD and forcing them to shovel the sidewalk when it's near zero outside in January!
Now I have spent time in environments that were "less than ideal" on MANY occasions, and that's everything from factories to other cities, to being in a foreign land, and I did it all without nearly batting a eye. You just suck it up and work through it.
Then again, we were all "indestructible" once, were we not?
These days, I'm content to PACE MYSELF, although I do stray from the path from time to time.
I'm happy with getting things done when ALLOWABLE, and not dictated by a calendar or clock.
I look at it as nature's way of saying "SLOW THE F*CK DOWN, BOB".
I will always finish what I begin, though...that's a given.
Dad always told me that "If you don't plan to finish something,. don't even try to start it"...and he was right there (again)..
Ahh...the wisdom gleaned from parents. You could write volumes on that.
I mean it's not like wisdom is to be avoided like the SWINE FLU, right?
(uh, oh...I smell a segue coming)
-- Yep, we've got a SWINE FLU outbreak in six states, as well as British Columbia and Mexico (imagine that).
The WHO (not the Pete Townsend group...geez) and CDC have even mentioned the word PANDEMIC...and whenever I hear that, I'm figuring it's an honest-to-God REALLY BAD outbreak with global implications...OR... I'm just watching another episode of this season's *24* on FOX!
Makes me wonder how JACK BAUER would handle this?
He'd probably just take 'em all OUT...and we're not talking DINNER and a MOVIE!
I mean it's not as though one of those (millions of) ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS have ANYTHING to do with this...or did they?
Swine flu, indeed.
I'm still not giving up MY bacon!
Would it mean that SAFER BORDERS could have stemmed the tide of this or caught it SOONER?
Betcha those people in TEXAS are keeping THEIR "hoglegs" REAL close now.
Still, if you were of the conspiracy-theory persuasion, you could "believe" that this might be an "attack" on the USA. It's not beyond the realm of reason to think that someone could have a biological agent LIKE swine flu. There is no law or protocol that dictates that ANY & EVERY bio-weapon HAS to be anthrax...does it? Why not use something that doesn't so much kill off a lot of people, but rather renders them incapacitated for a time (so "things" can slip on past us while we're busy with this flu outbreak).
The direct attack is ALWAYS suspected, and consequently watched for, but it's the "covert" ops are the ones that get the job done.
While I wouldn't call this flu pandemic COVERT, I would say it came out of left field at us, so it wasn't really OVERT either.
I read about instances of flu outbreaks over in the UK late last year that were offing folks, and they were not ALL old people.
Hell, the (Spanish) flu outbreak back in 1918 killed about 50 MILLION people worldwide...and scientists have used the decoding of THAT flu strain to prepare us for subsequent outbreaks ever since.
So you can't just say that getting the sniffles does not have serious repercussions. We ARE looking at Summertime...and mosquitoes (the bringers of disease).
And anyone that has had a bad cold in the SUMMER knows what I'm talking about. Nothing is worse than running a FEVER when it's already in the 80s outside, with the humidity keeping pace nicely.
God forbid if you get dehydrated.
And back in my youth, having an A/C unit in ONE room of a house was a upper-middle class LUXURY, and NOT one's God-given righ or entitlement!
We had little somethings called OSCILLATING FANS...and that was about it, aside from ice cubes wrapped in wash cloths.
It's hard to sweat out that fever when you've been sweating for weeks, thanks to the summer heat. Get's hard to tell the difference.
But I think we'll get a handle on this outbreak soon enough.
We'd BETTER, anyway.
As for the seasonal changes?
Well, for me personally, I'll take SPRING and FALL...any day.
Spring is a time of rebirth, and the Fall colors are fantastic. Can't argue with either one.
The only problem is that neither season is ever LONG enough, but it could always be worse...
It could be a case where we only have TWO seasons (like in Indonesia):
1 - The DRY SEASON
2 - The RAINY SEASON
(with no break in between to adjust for either one)
Or we could be in Wisconsin..shovelling snow in April.
Damn global WARMING.
So, in the meantime, stay away from people who are coughing (I like to hold my breath, so I'll be the guy with the blue face in line behind you), tell people to cover their damn mouth, get a Kleenex to wipe the schnoz, and don't forget that it's perfectly OK to get a little "OCD" by washing one's hands frequently to avoid the flu.
But above all...
Stay safe out there, America.

Weekend Roundup...
If you never thought SPRING would arrive, check your (Midwest) clocks around 1300 hours TODAY, and you'll know what I'm talking about.
Looks like it will be a good weekend to dust off that lawnmower, fire it up, and take it for a spin around "Homestead Heights".
Also, it's an excellent time to check the local stores and nurseries for PLANTS, FLOWERS, and SHRUBS.
And don't forget the topsoil, manure, Weed N Feed and Miracle Gro!
Whip that garden back into shape, people. Plant those tomatoes, mulch that flower bed, and get those paws dirty...LOL!
I know for a fact, that I've got my "honeydew" list all ready to go. And to think I USED to be a (Philly born & raised) "city boy"...pshaw!
Yepper, those big box improvement stores are a'callin' me...time to "help the economy", folks!
Elsewhere...
-- Looks like that crime I said WOULD be coming "to a neighborhood near you" has begun to happen.
An Aboite couple was robbed at gunpoint as they pulled into THEIR OWN GARAGE!
Here's a link to the entire story(from WANE's site).
http://www.wane.com/dpp/news/local_wane_ftwayne_couple_robbed_in_garage_200904231557 Now what surprises me about this, aside from some decent coverage on WANE news, is that the newspapers didn't give this more attention.
I mean this kind of thing is SOP on the SOUTH side of town, but in the environs of the upper middle class, you'd expect this sort of thing to garner a LOT of outcry. It's not like this happens several times EVERY damn day there, right?
Grow some backbone out there, people....start patrolling your streets, stop hiding behind security systems and locked doors, get outside, and not be afraid to call in ANYTHING that seems the least bit hinky, unless you want YOUR part of the city to gradually become like MINE (and it will, trust me).
Remember...your first, BEST defense (before the police arrive) is YOU.
-- With ALL these bailouts, handouts, and copouts, it makes us wonder WHO (or what) will be next to get some free money. Well, think on this...
Recently, Glenbrook Mall has filed for Chapter 11, since it could NOT find a new buyer. I talked about this a short time ago, and it was said that mall operations would NOT be affected.
Seems that might NOT be all that true now, according to some analysts that track RETAIL or COMMERCIAL properties.
The next "big thing" to come down this financial "pike" will be closings of COMMERCIAL PROPERTIES. Now, don't get your undies in a bunch, because I DO NOT see Glenbrook CLOSING one bit.
But what I will concede, is that SOME stores in that mall will close, and that COULD lead to some interesting developments for the mall.
First stores to close will be all these fancy boutiques, as they serve a particular clientele.
After all, people ARE re-learning to become more frugal, and are weighing how BEST to spend what money they can save during this financial debacle.
Malls across the nation are seeing up to 30% closing of commercial space. That kinda makes the residential mortgage aspect pale in comparison, but blame it on those owners who have money DUE that can't secure any type of refinancing to cover the costs. Best thing to do when you're dealt a bad hand (if you can't bluff all that well), is FOLD.
Sadly, things like this will happen.
Just wanted to let you people know...forewarned IS forearmed.
-- We dropped COMCAST cable for VERIZON 3-in-1 package (w/ FiOS) a while back, and it's been pretty damn good...until recently.
We're experiencing audio dropouts on certain channels (not all of them, thankfully), The TV set does have a converter box, but not the larger box (with all the bells and whistles like FREE movies, channel guides, etc). I know it's not the TV, because I swapped the set out with a smaller one, checking the audio...still dropping out.
Now, I've worked with A/V systems years ago, and the physics doesn't change over time, so it must be the specific technology that's at fault here (I'm thinking that small cable box, or possibly the cable itself to the set). I plan to contact Verizon and get them to come see what's going on, as the other set in the living room works fine with NO audio drops.
I'd like to hear about anyone else that is having similar problems and how you resolved it.
-- Lastly, the other night, I happened to see a man on a Harley drive through the area. Now that's hardly remarkable by any stretch of the imagination, but THIS guy stood out like a damn sore thumb...and with good reason.
He had the music playing LOUDER THAN THE BIKE ITSELF, and anyone that owns (or has owned) a Harley will tell you...they can be DAMN loud with those straight pipes.
But wait...it DOES get even BETTER than that.
This idiot ALSO had a shitload of RED LEDs all over the bottom of the bike, with some FLASHING.
Now, I can tell you straight away...that's ILLEGAL. The damn thing was lit up like a frigging Christmas tree, AND thumping to beat the band.
For any and all FWPD "friends" out there, this guy will be someone to BOLO!
And at night, he sure as hell won't be HARD to miss.
I suppose since we have BOOMCARS, and BOOM SUVs, and now BOOMHARLEYS, makes you wonder about the "next step"?
We may see the advent of BOOM-BICYCLES, BOOMSKATEBOARDS, BOOMROLLERBLADES, or maybe even....(shudder)...the return of the dreaded BOOM-BOX!
And for the toddlers, we can always have the BOOM-BIGWHEELS and BOOMTRIKES!
Where the hell DOES this stupidity END, anyway?
And why are people becoming SO damn annoying and obnoxious, especially when ORDINANCES are in place to PREVENT such shenanigans?
If they WANT respect, they better start showing a little FIRST, because that is how YOU receive it.
"Give it to get it", as I always say.
Then again...it IS the SOUTH side of town, right?
And my "neighbors" ARE the poster children for MORONS R US.
In any event, enjoy the marvelous weather this weekend, and always be sure to...
Stay safe out there, America.

Tales From The South Side...
Now we all know that it IS officially SPRING, in spite of the consistently cooler weather (blame that on "global warming"), and since it might appear that the temperatures WILL be on the rise, we rest assured that outdoor activities will begin to flourish.
That means family activities. Getting out in the fresh air, going to the zoo, the Botanical Garden, the parks...you get the idea.
Well, that's what it means in TYPICAL NORMAL neighborhoods with typical NORMAL families.
Around here, not so much.
First off, what USED to be called a family is a mish-mosh of acquaintances, usually with an alpha female in the traditional role of the "hunter-gatherer". Next in this curious mix is some random male, usually UNemployed (or at best UNDER-employed since dropping out of school).
This male will take perverse pride in establishing himself in this "family", and will be dominant ONLY to the point that the alpha female will allow, which means if he commences to beat on HER, she might have his ass tossed out (so he can move on to his next "conquest").
Many times, after a beating (or ten), she will take the male back in, as she is as co-dependent as he thinks she is.
Then come the children.
Typically, they are products of this "extended family", coming from both male and female separately, usually number more than 3, and the adults will most likely have another child "on the way", because the male HAS to "mark his territory", before moving along. Also, it's a good way to get MORE money from the government. The kids are seen as a DEDUCTION FIRST...not a human being. That comes further down their list.

And these disenfranchised kids are pretty much left to their OWN devices...no playing catch with dad, no kite flying, no fishing...no anything really, but hanging the hell out, getting into 50 kinds of trouble.

There simply is NO discipline that is enacted.

And whoever is raising the children are just as guilty of have no sense of proper discipline for the kids OR themselves.
This will produce extreme confusion in the children early on, leading to increasingly bad behavior, poor scholastic aptitudes, and possible affiliations with GANGS or CLIQUES, as these particular venues offer a more "protective and nurturing" aspect for these kids.
Sadly, the lack of values, morality, principles and ethics seem to perpetuate the multi-generational stereotypes, and only serve to bilk the government agencies meant to help the TRULY needy to establish themselves as productive members of a city's populace.
Now I said all that to say this:
How in the name of all that is holy, can people WANT to live like this?
Why would they rather sit back, let everyone ELSE do everything else for them?
Where is the sense of personal ACCOMPLISHMENT?
I'm sorry, but there is never "something for nothing" in the purest form.
SOMEONE is always footing the bill..and that would be the REST of us.
Now, you can piss and moan about student test scores, crime, the economy, or whatever, but no matter WHAT the issue might be, it always comes back to CHOICES, be they on a large scale, or an individual's personal life.
And what makes these dysfunctional families "function", is a crapload of bad choices.
Sad thing is, they get "rewarded" FOR making those bad choices.
Hey, everyone screws up a few times in their lives...that's how we frigging LEARN to not do that kind of stuff again.
The trick is NOT to make screwing up a "chronic condition".
Couldn't seem to tell many of my "neighbors" down on the south side of town that, though.
They revel in bad choice making. They have become artists at it.
Still, the question remains...
How can people get into such a mindset where they truly BELIEVE that making bad choices is something they WANT to pursue?
I will probably never figure it out.
I've said it before that so many people down here view their world as an area that encompasses only their immediate neighborhood, no matter what city they might have come from...the thinking is the same.
Yet, there is SO much more that's out there.
Kids today suck at Geography..that's a fact. They don't even know the capital cities of neighboring states.

That's pitiful. And they have no idea about former Presidents, save for the last 2 or 3 immediate predecessors to our current one.
Like the saying goes: "If we don't learn from our past, we are destined to repeat it".
That pretty well sums up today's world.
Only one problem with that...the kids today are not even looking towards THEIR FUTURE.
And that will cost them more than they can imagine.
Whatever passes for their "family" today, might well be a far cry from what will become that same family in say...ten years.
Instead of returning to what once worked damn well, as far as the family unit is concerned, we're moving even FARTHER from it.
Now how can people function when there is NO paternal influence?
And how can even ONE parent preside over the upbringing of her children, when the government wishes to indoctrinate them at even earlier ages into a specific way of thinking?
Somehow, that just doesn't seem right.
The family, as many of remember it, IS in jeopardy.
Luckily we have single parents out there that CAN and WILL do everything in their power to make a life for themselves AS WELL AS their kids, so there is a glimmer of hope there, as well as with those that still espouse tradition with what we remember as constituting a family.
To those that are fortunate enough to have a more traditional situation, good luck with keeping it that way.
You are being fought at most every turn there.
Yeah..it's SPRINGTIME...you can tell, especially down HERE.
Those of you fortunate enough to be a TRUE parent to your child (or children)...take a few minutes, step back, and marvel in what you have produced. YOU have created our FUTURE, and how YOU manage their upbringing will determine that future's outcome, good OR bad.
When you're involved WITH your children, the outcome is good.
But when you do NOTHING...well, nothing is exactly what gets done in these children's lives.
And that outcome is something we'd best not attempt to entertain....not now...not ever.
So get outside, enjoy what life offers, and strive to be the parent that your kids need.
And while you're at it,
Stay safe out there, America.