What (A) Character...
I'm going to follow along on yesterday's post about Dr. King and the "content of one's character" being a more defining aspect than the color of one's skin, so feel free to pour another cup of whatever you have at hand.
Character (to me) has always meant the general makeup of a person; things both seen and unseen that give the rest of us a "thumbnail" sketch of who a person is.
We can tell by the character of a person, what lies beneath, because that which makes up every one of us is something most of tend to wear on our sleeve, and some even seem to have it emblazoned upon their foreheads.
I like to believe that something we call THE FIRST IMPRESSION has a lot to do with how we will see a person's character.
And, like bullets, the first impression is something you can NEVER call back.
Once it's out...it's out...and gone.
Many may argue that the character of a person is much like their demeanor.
Ain't necessarily so, friends.
Either one may compliment the other, but they are not interchangeable facets of the human condition.
One's character might be "fine-tuned" by their demeanor, or their demeanor may give others a "false return" to the person's character simply because they "might" have had a bad day.
So demeanor and character are NOT really one in the same.
A person's character is built, much like a house...brick by brick, shovel by shovel, until a "basic structure" is in place.
It sure as hell isn't a "dream home", but it makes a fine place to "come out of the weather" in our lives.
This "house" of our character will either become a place to enjoy...or a prison, depending upon how we add those "amenities" to is. Think of it as adding FURNITURE to the house, and UTILITIES...and LANDSCAPING.
ALL of that makes a house a lot more livable, but it's not quite a "home" yet.
As we go through our lives, we accumulate "stuff"...all kinds of stuff. And many times, we run out of places to put that stuff. Some stuff we toss, while other stuff we keep...and cherish.
And much like the "things" we acquire in our houses, we also acquire "stuff" relevant to our persona...our "character", if you will.
Now, we can have a nicely furnished house, or a ghetto crib with mattresses upon the roach-ridden floors.
We can have running water, or we can refuse to pay the bills and have it all turned off.
As goes the house, so ALSO goes our character in life.
If we had good parents, mentors, role models who provided us with a sense of PURPOSE and SELF-WORTH, we wind up doing a lot better than someone basically "on their own" from damn near infancy.
If we were taught such things as APPLYING ONESELF, taking FAILURES in stride, and LEARNING from them, instead of tossing in the towel, we do a LOT better.
If we are taught to avoid the "bad" things in life, enjoy the good things in moderation, and know the value of money and how to properly apply it, we do a LOT better.
It's things like this that will provide those basic "amenities" that will define our character.
And it's through these things, and much more than we learn to understand our emotions, which are also a large part of our character.
People are a myriad of things when it comes to emotions...
Some are happy-go-lucky, while others are sullen. Some are carefree, while others are serious beyond belief. Others have a sense of humor, while others couldn't be moved to laugh with a bulldozer.
This is the "furniture" that goes into your "house"...it's the end tables, the entertainment center, the lamps, the carpets.
ALL of these things go to enrich and further define WHO YOU ARE...and what comprises your character makeup.
Now there is a curious "two-way" street here.
Your character will determine most everything you DO in life...or do NOT do.
And conversely, everything you DO (or do NOT do) in life WILL have a bearing on your character.
And it doesn't stop there, either...
The manner in which you PRESENT yourself to others (remember that first impression gig?) will demonstrate to others WHAT your character is made of.
Now here on the Internet, we can often cloak ourselves to serve any purpose we desire, hence the problems with child predators being on the increase, as well as fraudulence.
But in the REAL world, others will call your character out based on what you PRESENT to them.
Talk like a moron, dress like a thug, walk like you just got up...whatever it is others see (and/or hear), is exactly how you (and your character ) will be perceived.
I like to give people the old "benefit of the doubt" thing...
They may look like a slob, but until they open their mouths and convince me of it, maybe they just had a bad closet day.
Now my parents drilled into me ONE thing when it comes to character:
"You represent yourself, your family, your city, state and country wherever you go and whoever you meet....act appropriately!"
(Kinda sounds like something a man with 3 stripes on his sleeve might say as well...for some strange reason)
That stuck with me all this time, and I base much of MY character upon that simple precept.
That way, what you SEE is what you get...makes it a lot easier than practicing being pretentious and diversionary.
But, as long as people become too self-absorbed to properly "furnish" their "house of the human condition", I'm afraid we'll be dealing with a lot of CHARACTERS...without much character.
Our founding fathers were men of character. They stood by what they said. They meant what they said, and said what they meant.
If you've ever read letters to home from the Civil war, you can see that so many more people were people of REAL character.
When did this nation decide to turn it all off?
When did men (or women) of CHARACTER become back-seat PASSENGERS in our society, instead of being front-seat DRIVERS of this nation? Such people STILL DO exist...trust me on this one.
When will such people resurface and make their beliefs known?
Time...and hard work will tell.
In the meantime, we should take stock in how we've built OUR "house" (of character), how we've appointed it, and what we're doing to give it all the "curb appeal" it might need.
And, if need be, maybe knock out a wall or two, and build it back up the RIGHT way.
Besides, no one still has an AVOCADO refrigerator anymore (do they?)...time to "update the appliances" too...LOL.
Our days are like these houses of character we've labored on all our lives...WE have to spend the most time in them, so why not make them the best we can. It won't hurt us, and it sure won't hurt anyone else.
Do well, make a difference today, and...
Stay safe out there, America.