07 September 2006

Time To Reinvent the Wheel...AGAIN!

I don't know if anything ever came of that "new state motto" campaign of months ago, but I'd thought I'd get my tongue solidly in my cheek and do some serious thinking.
Not to mention, I could save the state a ton of cash....rather than let "them" waste my tax dollars forming committees out the ass, right?

So here goes...

The current state motto (1937) - The Crossroads of America
The current state slogan (1998-2006) - Enjoy Indiana

Here are MY suggestions:

INDIANA: Love it...or MOVE!
INDIANA: Not Your AVERAGE Crack State.
INDIANA: America's Crossroads of NO and WHERE.
INDIANA: Home of Property Tax Increases.
INDIANA: Dysfunction is Our MIDDLE Name.
INDIANA: The Emerald Ash Borer Capital.
INDIANA: More Wal-Marts Per Person Than Anywhere Else.
INDIANA: Cocaine Distribution Hub of the Midwest..
INDIANA: We STILL Have Some Decent People Living Here!
INDIANA: Where Even Your Garden Gnome Is Armed.
INDIANA: The Boomcar Capital.
INDIANA: The Hearing Loss Capital.
INDIANA: Sure We're Stupid, Fat and On Welfare...So What?
INDIANA: Where crime DOES pay.
INDIANA: Back Homey Again.
INDIANA: The Pork Loin State.
INDIANA: The Atherosclerosis State.
INDIANA: (C)rap Music Capital of the Midwest.
INDIANA: Where Incoming Fire Has the Right-of-Way.
INDIANA: Sorry...We Don't DO Star Trek Conventions.
INDIANA: Pit Bull Breeding Capital.
INDIANA: Muffler??? We Don't NEED No Steenkin' Muffler!
INDIANA: Where ALL Illegal Aliens Like to Move.
INDIANA: Screw the Amish and Pass the Blunt!
INDIANA: We Have More Sales on Ammuntion Than YOU Do.
INDIANA: It's the Economy, Stupid!
INDIANA: The Right Choice...for the Wrong People.
INDIANA: Love it..or Die Trying.
INDIANA: Turn Down That Damn Music, Moron!
INDIANA: Diversities R Us.
INDIANA: Rental Capital of the Nation.
INDIANA: The "New" Detroit.
INDIANA: Se Habla Espanol?
INDIANA: You want a WHAT??? A JOB????
INDIANA: It Could Be Worse, But Not By Much.
INDIANA: Home to Frustrated Student Satirists.
INDIANA: We Be da B'Ball Capital.....WORD UP!
INDIANA: Where Kids Become Adults Quicker Than Anywhere Else.
INDIANA: We Wish We Knew What a Philly Cheesesteak Was.
INDIANA: We Make the Cast of "OZ" Look Timid.
INDIANA: Car Insurance? What the Hell is THAT?
INDIANA: Buckle up...Or Don't.
INDIANA: Where Most Homes Are Furnished by Rent-A-Center.
INDIANA: The BS state...Miles & Miles of Piles & Piles.
INDIANA: Where ADHD is a Way of Life.
INDIANA: You Got Any "shit"?
INDIANA: Amber Waves and Amber Alerts!
INDIANA: Where "Hoosier Daddy" Takes On a Whole New Meaning
INDIANA: Team Logo Capital of the Nation.
INDIANA: We Still Have Plenty of Banks to Rob!
INDIANA: Littering Capital of the World.
INDIANA: Tired of Life? Move HERE.
INDIANA: Where Everybody Knows Your Name (if you're a sex offender).
INDIANA: Yet ANOTHER Comcast Monopoly.
INDIANA: Whaaaaaazzzzuuuppp?
INDIANA: You Have GOT To Be Kidding...Right?
INDIANA: Meth, Pot, Crack...What's There NOT to Like?
INDIANA: Where Founding Fathers Turn in their Graves HOURLY!
INDIANA: You Want Disrespect..You Found It!
INDIANA: Where We DON'T Have Deposit Bottles!
INDIANA: It's NOT Just for Gangstas Anymore
INDIANA: Serious Violent Felon Crossroads of America
INDIANA: It's STILL Nice Here (away from any major city).
INDIANA: Less Altitude...More Attitude.
INDIANA: Where Chicagoans Buy THEIR guns!
INDIANA: Our Horses are Smarter than Most Kids.
INDIANA: Where Every House is a Potential Urinal.
INDIANA: Home of the "500" (death row inmates)
INDIANA: More Militias Per Square Mile.
INDIANA: Home to the Cheapest Counterfeit Currency.
INDIANA: Where the 2 Largest Cities are the 2 Largest Problems.
INDIANA: Insomniacs Welcomed.
INDIANA: Come and Watch Us Do Something DUMB!
INDIANA: Home of Fewer Celebrities Than Rhode Island
INDIANA: Tony Stewart...'Nuff Said!
INDIANA: At Least We're Not a "Buckeye", Right?
INDIANA: Where We Dream Up a NEW Motto Every Other Year.
INDIANA: One plate...FIVE cars...Do the Math!
INDIANA: We Tossed Civility Out the Window YEARS Ago.
INDIANA: Nestled in the Crotch Of Chicago
INDIANA: Getting It UP Is Our First Concern
INDIANA: The Crackhouse State
INDIANA: Back Home Again...Same Jail Cell, Too!
INDIANA: Better Than Ever...In Your Dreams!
INDIANA: Where the Cops are ALWAYS on Speed-Dial.
INDIANA: The Armpit of the Midwest...and Proud of It.
INDIANA: Where We Call a Creek a River...Because We Can.
INDIANA: What's It To You?
INDIANA: Our Mountains Are Man-Made (landfills).
INDIANA: We Just OOZE Apathy.
INDIANA: It's Not Just For Idiots Anymore.
INDIANA: We Still Leave Christmas Decorations Up 'till May
INDIANA: Don't You Feel Worse Already?
INDIANA: The Methlab State
INDIANA: Where Your Parents Love to Retire...FROM!
INDIANA: Our gas costs more than YOURS.
INDIANA: It IS Better Anywhere Else..Trust Us.
INDIANA: Knowuhimsayin?

So there you are...a "few" ideas from someone that still cares...ROFLMAO!


Jana said...

This one's my fav:

INDIANA: More Wal-Marts Per Person Than Anywhere Else.

*dies laughing*

B.G. (Semper Paratus) said...

...And it happens to be ALL TOO TRUE!