30 October 2008

Believe It...Or Else!
Ok, so I know I'm not the ONLY one that is in utter disbelief over the Philadelphia Phillies winning the World Series. There is at least ONE other person in Wilmington Delaware still shaking his head (right, Mark?).
Seems a bit shallow though, after the win back in 1980 with Tug McGraw.
Doesn't pack the same "punch" it used to.
Of course the fans got uber-rowdy after the rain-delayed game, almost flipping a news van...whatever happened to just all going to a bar with your buddies, getting falling down drunk and singing some songs as you staggered the hell home,attempting to hold one another the hell up, hmm?
However, a win like this is STILL a win.
And being from Philly, I'll take ANY win any way it occurs.
Not bad for the "LOSINGIST" TEAM in professional sports, right?
And speaking of LOSERS...
**While serving an arrest warrant Tuesday, Allen County sheriff’s officers found cocaine, marijuana and three children living in poor conditions.
Police went to 1226 Oakland St. to arrest Melissa A. Ley, 28, on a felony theft charge from LaGrange County.
In the basement, officers found scales, a pipe, a burned spoon, bags of marijuana, garbage and musty laundry, a sheriff’s report said.In total, officers confiscated 5 grams of cocaine and 20 grams of marijuana.
Three children were also in the home.
Their beds had no sheets and few covers, and the kids had little clothing. Officers found no food in the home and asked for Child Protective Services to investigate, the report said.Ley was arrested on initial charges of reckless possession of paraphernalia, dealing cocaine and dealing marijuana. Police also arrested Erick L. Cocks, 38, (no wisecracks, people) who lives at the home, on initial charges of reckless possession of paraphernalia, dealing marijuana and dealing cocaine.
**Man questioned after grandson shot
A Fort Wayne man was questioned by police and then released after he shot his 20-year-old grandson in the knee Tuesday, a report said.
Fort Wayne police were called to 3618 Warsaw St. about 1:30 p.m. Officers found the victim in the living room bleeding from a leg. He told police his grandfather accidentally shot him.
Officers found the 71-year-old man in the basement still holding the loaded gun.
The man told police he was "tired" of his grandson (probably dealing drugs, knowing that neighborhood) and that it was "self-defense," reports said. Detectives briefly questioned the man at police headquarters but later released him (hope he got his gun back...he'll need it in that area of town).
Police spokesman Mike Joyner said no charges are expected. The bullet went through the victim’s leg near the knee (like Denny Crane "calling his shot", hmm?). He was taken to a hospital in fair condition, police said.
WTG, Gramps!!
And on the political front...
**I'm SO sorry I didn't watch the half-hour O'Bama Show last night...had too many other cable RERUNS to view. I know it was more of the same BS...how "his" master plan (somehow Germany in the 1930s comes to mind...wonder why that is?) will make America great once again. Seems I recall him saying in one speech that "AMERICA is the greatest country in the world...help me CHANGE IT". Why would I want ANYONE to change what is apparently SO damn great in the first place?
My take is that if something's broke, you fix it.
So let's fix what's "broke" in America, and what ISN'T broke...leave the hell ALONE, fair enough?
Sorry B.O., your rhetoric isn't in my plan for doing AWAY with socialism in the near future.
**In the ever-growing quest for knowledge comes a neat story about the constant "redefinition" of our LEXICON.
Now, I'll be the first one to tell you that being hitched to an ENGLISH TEACHER will get me shot in the foot all too often with any and all grammatical / etymological gaffs that might issue from my piehole.
That's why I created BOB'S LEXICON...think sort of like Norm Crosby (who is still alive, God bless him) - the comedian best known for his use of malapropisms - aka butchering the English language in a marvelously side-splitting manner (Stephen Colbert does a similar gig on his show)...and you will see me refer to it whenever I place a word here that appears to most people dubious in nature, or spelling, or context. That way, I can avoid argumentative situations with the missus (always a good deal).
With that said, let's take a look at the recent additions to the (normal) English lexicon:
(From the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
18 million cracks in the glass ceiling: n. 1. cause of the 18 million headaches disappointed Sen. Hillary Clinton supporters suffered. 2. cold comfort.
Bitter, small-town Pennsylvanians: n. 1. Those who, per Sen. Barack Obama, "cling to guns or religion ... as a way to explain their frustrations." 2. Those who won't be voting for Mr. Obama. See Real America entry.
Caribou Barbie: n. 1. nickname for the huntress, Sarah Palin, the Republican vice presidential candidate. 2. Alaskan cousin to Malibu Barbie and Skipper. Rifle sold separately.
Change We Need: 1. current Obama campaign motto. 2. signs posted at parking garage pay booths and take-out pizza joints.
Country First: 1. current John McCain campaign motto. 2. the United States of America First. 3. Real America First.
Drill, Baby, Drill: 1. McCain-Palin campaign rally chant promoting offshore oil drilling. 2. a sweet nothing whispered on a cold, Alaskan night.
First Dude: n. 1. Mrs. Palin's husband, Todd Palin.
Hockey Mom: n. 1. Mrs. Palin. 2. the mother of a child who plays hockey. See Real America.
Hottest governor from the coldest state: euphemism for Mrs. Palin.
• I can see Russia from my house!: a Tina Fey "SNL" Palinism referencing Mrs. Palin's foreign-affairs experience.
Joe Six-Pack: n. 1. a regular working Everyman who drinks beer.
Joe the Plumber: n. 1. a regular working Everyman who lays pipe, fixes sinks, tubs and toilets and owes back taxes. See related Phil the Bricklayer, Rose the Teacher, Jamarcus the Drug Dealer, Tom the Carpenter, Tito the Builder, Rocco the Enforcer, Steely the Mascot, and Sherry the Panhandler.
Lipstick: n. 1. the difference between a Hockey Mom and a pit bull.
Lipstick on a pig: an old euphemism for trying to dress up something bad or negative to make it seem good or positive. Also see sow's ear-silk purse entry.
Maverick: n. 1. one who takes an independent stand and how Mrs. Palin describes herself and her running mate, John McCain. 2. unbranded, like the cattle owned by the real Maverick family of Texas.
Mavericky: adj. 1. another Tina Fey Palinism meaning in the manner of a maverick or maverick-like.
McPain: n. 1. an anti-McCain moniker.
My Friends: 1. Mr. McCain's version of "My Fellow Americans." 2. Mr. McCain's shorthand for "You people who should be voting for me."
NObama: n. 1. an anti-Obama moniker. 2. variable pronunciation an anti-Crimson Tide moniker.
Not Black Enough: adj. Sen. Barack Obama. Also see, Too Black entry.
PUMA: n. 1.- acronym for Party Unity My Ass. 2.- synonym for Clintonites who were slow or unwilling to jump on the Obama bandwagon.
Racists: n. 1. Rep. John Murtha's Western Pennsylvanians. See rednecks.
Real America: n. 1. non-urban, small-town and rural America.
Robocalls: n. 1. recorded messages from one campaign attacking the opponent. 2. the political telemarketing equivalent of playing the dozens.
SNOBama: n. 1. anti-Obama nickname for the elitist, arugula-eating Democratic presidential nominee.
Spread the wealth around: 1. those who make more pay more; those who make less pay less. 2. to pull a Robin Hood, rob from the rich and give to the poor.
Straight-talk Express: n. 1. Mr. McCain's campaign bus to somewhere, which Mr. Obama says has lost a wheel or two.
That One: n. 1. Mr. McCain's pet name for Mr. Obama.
• The economy's fundamentals are sound: 1. a McCain "senior moment."
The One: n. 1. What Oprah has anointed the junior senator from Illinois.
Too Black: adj. 1. Mr. Obama. See Not Black Enough entry.
Unrepentant terrorist: n. 1. former Weather Underground bomber and educator William Ayers. 2. Mr. Obama's BFF. 3. An acquaintance of Mr. Obama's in Chicago education circles. See Washed-up terrorist.
Yes We Can: adv. 1. Obama campaign slogan. 2. answer to the question: Can the United States, a nation that espouses liberty and justice for all, survive the reality of an African-American president?
You Betcha: adv. 1. Palinism for yes, indeed. 2. answer to the question: Can someone plucked from relative obscurity with more charisma than her running mate end up a heartbeat away from the presidency?
Now...if THAT'S not enough to make you go"WTF?"...well, maybe you best check that pulse of yours.
In the meantime, I've got some more "truthiness" to work on...!

No comments: