Humpday Happenings...
And WHAT a humpday it is, nicely portrayed in the Heartland with our first snowfall of the season.
Add to that, record rainfall immediately preceding this weather event, and it made for some very interesting road conditions around town, that continue into this AM.
--Leaf crews were trying to play "beat the clock" with the weather while clearing culverts blocked by some dumbass citizens that didn't pay attention as to WHERE to place the leaves for pickup.
--Salt crews were MIA (in Fort Wayne), because no one seemed to know WHAT the weather was going to do, plus spokespeople mentioned that the RAIN would wash away any salt put down (how's about some of that beet-juice/vodka mixture that's supposed to be BETTER than salt, hmm?)
Still in the "dark ages", apparently.
--About TEN occupiers are still braving the weather in downtown Fort Wayne...ROFLMAO!
--And Momma Fargo's blog (link at left) has a good post about these folks with a great link to a chart that shows where YOUR city stacks up with the number of occupiers. Now, if only they did a chart showing the MONEY wasted by those cities because of these protesters.
*** I was doing a lookup (from the local paper this past weekend) about which holiday shows would air, and when.
I was surprised that some shows are being aired multiple times (i.e., A Christmas Story - 24 hours of it again...and days upon days of ELF), while others (and classics, too) get nary a mention.
Scrooge (the Alistair Sim 1951 UK version) will only be shown ONCE (on TCM, thank the celluloid gods), as will the 1984 George C. Scott version of A Christmas Carol, but I didn't see the Patrick Stewart version...weird, huh?
Gonna be an interesting viewing "season"
(Note to self: stock up on bargain DVDs).
Meanwhile, back at the Cracker Factory...
*** Mikki White aka Shadwynn Curry has been FORMALLY charged.
(Guess that book deal is on hold for now?)
Here's the link to the story:
http://www.wane.com/dpp/news/charges-filed-against-asst.-principal-dbl
Yep, kinda hard to NOT KNOW about those drugs when they're scattered ALL OVER the damn house...isn't it?
*** The 20th homicide victim in Allen County has been ID'ed.
Here's the link:
http://www.journalgazette.net/article/20111130/LOCAL07/311309971
This was the shooting out on Ansley Drive near Illinois Rd.
The man was found INSIDE the house with multiple gunshot wounds to the chest. (hardly a cleaning accident, hmm?)
And before you ask...YES, he has a rap sheet:
===========================
02D04-0406-CM-004204 SALAHUD-DIN, SULTAN IBN 06/01/2004
Allen Superior Court 6 CM - Criminal Misdemeanor
Decided BATTERY (A) (D.V.)
02D04-0412-CM-009524 SALAHUD-DIN, SULTAN IBN 12/06/2004
Allen Superior Court 4 CM - Criminal Misdemeanor
Decided INVASION OF PRIVACY (A)
02D04-0806-CM-003972 SALAHUD-DIN, SULTAN IBN 06/16/2008
Allen Superior Court 5 CM - Criminal Misdemeanor
Decided OPERATING WHILE INTOXICATED (CLASS C)
OPER VEH W/BAC OF .08-.14% (CLASS C)
OPERATE WHILE SUSP (INF)
02D04-1008-CM-005175 SALAHUD-DIN, SULTAN IBN 08/24/2010
Allen Superior Court 6 CM - Criminal Misdemeanor
Decided PUBLIC INTOXICATION
02H01-1111-IF-015462 000026302475
000026302475 SALAHUD-DIN, SULTAN I 11/23/2011
New Haven City Court IF - Infraction
Pending 9-21-5-2/IFC: Speeding
9-24-19-1/IFA: Driving While Suspended
==============================
AND, he has had MULTPLE addresses:
1821 Foster Ct
Fort Wayne, IN 46804
1817 Foster Ct
Fort Wayne, IN 46804
2907 CANTERBURY BLVD
FORT WAYNE, IN 46805
1021 Kensington Blvd
Fort Wayne, IN 46805
==============================
So WHAT was he doing at a house nowhere near his own, and how did he wind up DEAD?
Curiouser and curiouser...
*** Now, if you think our local EXCISE POLICE have been sitting on their hands (all this time)...think again.
Here's the link to this story:
http://www.journalgazette.net/article/20111130/LOCAL07/311309934
This was a pretty good raid (as raids go), with seven people arrested at the SPORTS & SPIRITS BAR & GRILL - 1723 E. Wayne St.
But wait, there's MORE...
They found THREE UNDERAGE "patrons" on scene.
Some crack cocaine and Marijuana (bagged and partly smoked) were also found during the search of the bar, as were TWO semi-automatic handguns.
And ONE of those guns was reported stolen from OHIO...!
As a "bonus", three patrons were arrested for outstanding WARRANTS (and we're not talking outstanding as in really great, but still ACTIVE, just so we're clear...LOL)
The owner of the bar doesn't feel this will cause him to lose his liquor license...
No, but they WILL be WATCHING your place a LOT more closely, Bub. Bet on it!
(word to your mother...heh, heh, heh)
*** Lastly today, you all remember the TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS, right?


Well, I'm starting to get my "memos" again, and this came across the old desk recently, so I thought I'd pass this along, in lieu of the economic situation America faces.
=============


(( 2011 Changes for the traditional 12 days of Christmas.
Line item adjustments - per directive 185438RB-DED-67/8-33782/BBO
-- The TWELVE DRUMMERS DRUMMING will be halted, effective immediately.
Fallout and citizen complaints stemming from the chanters of the Occupy Wall St movement are cited for the cessation of the drumming.
This will also include ANY "drumming" that emanates from ANY vehicle, as well as drumming one's fingers on the tables at any Starbucks.
Local noise ordinances will be amended to reflect these changes, and lawbreakers will be summarily ticketed.
Only military services will be permitted to use ANY form of drum, and LRAD units will be deployed as needed in global "hot spots". Any officially recognized orchestra or band that has applied for and received notification of financial and societal responsibility will also be acceptable..
-- The ELEVEN PIPERS PIPING will be relegated ONLY to funereal service, Scottish celebratory venues, and anything that pertains directly to Revolutionary War re-enactments.
Exhaust PIPES will follow strict EPA guidelines as well as OEM vehicle requirements per manufacturer.
PIPE organs are not be affected in ANY church, regardless of denomination, but calliopes and street-corner organ grinders will not be exempt.
Windpipes are exempt as per the AMA mandate.
-- The TEN LORDS A LEAPING will be changed to reflect the "times".
Czars from Obama's cabinet will replace any "Lords", and the maximum height allowed for any leaping will be contained to no more than 1.5 feet, either VERTICALLY or HORIZONTALLY...but NOT a combination of the two.
The Secret Service will appoint a spokesperson to alert the media sources as to when and where the leaping is to take place.
And at NO time will ANY leaper be coerced into leaping, by any means such as water boarding, enhanced interrogation, or electro-shock.
Those who REFUSE to leap will be "detained" at Guantanamo base facilities.
-- The NINE LADIES DANCING has received too much press of late, so ANY dancing will first be vetted by the FBI, and will consist of tasteful music and attire, with NO privilege made for religion OR ethnicity.
Muslims, however WILL be allowed to FACE MECCA when they are dancing on the White House grounds
And under NO circumstances will occur any dancing that contains a LAP.
Also, same sex dancing will be limited to those friends of Barney Frank, Fannie Mae, or Freddie Mac.
(inclusive is anyone from San Francisco that likes a lot of leather and pink squirrels)
-- The EIGHT MAIDS A-MILKING has been under scrutiny from sources close to the current administration over the past few months, such as PETA, The DNR, Dept.of Agriculture, and the FDA (to name a few), and their findings are as follows:
-The "maids" in question will NOT be inclusive of ANY of the NINE LADIES DANCING, for reasons of safety (to the animals)
-These maids are to appear before a senate sub-committee and give testimony as to WHY they prefer milking to dancing.
The FDA has stipulated that any maid's hands are to be PRE-WARMED so as not to "stress" the animals being milked.
Any use of devices OTHER than hands will be cause for immediate dismissal, and will NOT be given the opportunity to become "dancers".
-- The SEVEN SWANS A- SWIMMING are to be ONLY of the avian variety, with NO allowance for synchronized human swimmers (no matter how good they look in swimsuits) to better keep the spirit of the season.
Again, the DNR will have a task force created to determine WHICH sub species of SWAN will acclimate themselves to the waters of the reflecting pool near the capitol, with regard to endangered species, country of origin, and so forth.
Economic impact on those countries that also have indigenous swan species will be considered as will future trade agreements for the bovine population (in conjunction with the milking criteria for the aforementioned EIGHT MAIDS).
-- The SIX GEESE A- LAYING presents a more immediate problem, because it has yet to be determined IF said geese are "laying" eggs...or "laying" down.
A panel on holiday SEMANTICS (in conjunction with the Department of Education) is being created in the hope that this issue can be rectified before the President leaves the country whenever our next crisis hits, as is standard procedure
If the panel passes this along to the Supreme Court for a decision, and they DO rule in favor of laying EGGS, then the FDA will have immediate intervention along with the CDC to determine if the eggs contain ANY potential avian virus.
CCTV cameras will be installed at that time in the "nurseries" to assure that NO human contact is permitted until the eggs hatch.
-- The FIVE GOLD RINGS presents a crisis, mainly for the Treasury department, as the cost of gold keeps rising.
It has yet to be determined if these gold "rings" are of a jewelry nature, or (as believed to be) much larger in size and weight.
A Congressional committee is being formed to ascertain this, and their findings will be printed along with any budgetary concerns within the next several weeks. They do not expect to have the results before Christmas, so the administration might result to something they are calling the "FDR INITIATIVE", whereby ALL gold will be summarily SEIZED and anyone caught hoarding gold will be jailed, pending an investigation.
At no time will any gold be made into PIPES (of any kind) for the ELEVEN PIPERS mentioned previously to prevent seizure, nor will ANY gold be transacted for ANY of the NINE LADIES DANCING.
All currency exchanged will remain as "Federal Reserve Notes".
-- The FOUR CALLING BIRDS ware to be initially selected from the democrat side of Congress, as they more properly fit the criteria:
a) They CALL (anyone out without knowing the facts)
b) They most always FLY (on the taxpayer's dime)
c) They FEATHER THEIR OWN NEST
d) They often LAY EGGS
As to whether they "lay down" will be determined by the panel investigating the SIX GEESE controversy.
A newly created Board of Regents will determine WHICH FOUR democrats fit the bill the best, and the names first brought up during the initial meeting were as follows:
Nancy Pelosi (Looks like a ostrich most days)
Harry Reid (Crusty old buzzard, loves to circle victims),
Maxine Waters (Bobs her head and clucks all day - says nothing of value),
Charlie Rangel (Also has his head in the sand)
--The THREE FRENCH HENS will require the President to make yet another trip to France, first to apologize for America, and then to beg the LOAN of 3 hens for the season.
Greenpeace is rumored to be staging a protest at the airport in Paris, and an OCCUPY FRANCE movement is in the works (curiously NOT sponsored by ANY neo-nazi organization), much to the pleasure of everyone suffering through the protests HERE in the USA.
Police in Oakland,CA, Portland, OR, NYC, and other affected cities with arrests numbering OVER 100 are asked to send the guilty parties to Dover AFB in Delaware, where several C-17 transports are awaiting the future departing protesters as they are sent to FRANCE.
(no in flight movies are available)
--The TWO TURTLE DOVES caused some consternation at the White House, because of the First lady's misunderstanding of the whole TURTLE and DOVE thing.
She was led to believe that it had to do with two separate CHOCOLATE ITEMS, and since she's been on the EAT HEALTHY regimen for America, she didn't know this was NOT about anything chocolate, but supposed to be under the auspices of the DNR the CDC, the WHO, and the Department of the Interior.
But the NUTRITIONAL VALUES of the TWO TURTLE DOVES will be included, should the public wish to know, as well as caloric intake, sodium levels and amount of TRANS-FAT, which is all dependant upon the method used to preparing the doves.
The first lady is leaning towards GRILLING them.
PETA is watching this very closely.
--The PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE is proving the most elusive item to date, as pear trees (in some locales) have become scarce, thanks to insect infestation. Luckily the global warming farce did not have ANY impact on the growth patterns or maturation of the trees.
And while partridges are easy enough to come by (they have recently been taken OFF the endangered species list), getting them to reside in a tree which is NOT their normal habitat is proving extremely problematic.
The Department of Agriculture is asking Congress to approve a $3.4 BILLION DOLLAR request for a grant to investigate the possbilities of either:
a) Breeding a PARTRIDGE that can be genetically-enhanced to WANT to nest in ANY pear tree, or...
b) Create a PEAR TREE that will attract said partridges - again, it will be gene manipulation.
This bill was said to have been included in the Obamacare "package". ))
======================================
How 'bout THEM apples, eh?
(who knew?)
In any event, have a great day and be sure to drive in a responsible manner.
The life you save just might be YOUR OWN.
Be well, make a difference to someone, and...
Stay SAFE out there, America.