31 October 2012

Humpday Happenings - Halloween Edition...
No tricks, no treats, just some cold hard reality, folks.
We're STILL feeling the outermost weather from (now) "sub-tropical former hurricane- Superstorm" Sandy (I have no idea what they're calling this storm these days) with light rain, breezy conditions, and an otherwise grey day in the Heartland.
And tonight is All Hallows Eve - aka Halloween, or as I prefer to call it "The Great Beg-A-Thon" (Charlie Brown)...LOL.
*** But before we get into THAT, let's continue with our military quote of the week, also known as WHO SAID THAT?
"I cannot command winds and weather."
There you go...brief and to the point (and apropos to the times today)...so, who said that?
The answer at the top of tomorrow's post.
Meanwhile, back on the foredeck...
*** The search goes on for the missing captain of the ill-fated replica ship HMS BOUNTY, which sank off Hatteras N.C. on Monday.
Here's a link to the latest news:
The USCG has said that although the ship has sunk, one of the masts is still visible above water, so I would wager she's in water that can't be that deep, and perhaps a salvage team could raise her...nothing has been said regarding that at this point.
*** In the aftermath of Sandy, we have some serious numbers:
-- Fifty Dead. (so far)
-- Millions of people without power.
-- Billions of dollars in damages.
The NYC subway is supposed to resume operations by this weekend.
Wall Street is back open for business.
West Virginia is digging out of 2-3 feet of wet snow.
Here's the link from our local paper:
Mayor of NYC, "Nanny" Bloomberg noted that:
 "...Nature is more powerful than we are".
Gee...'ya THINK???
There were reports of 4 foot snow drifts along the Tennessee-North Carolina border in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.
High winds whipped a fire into a virtual inferno as it tore through a beachfront neighborhood in Queens, turning the area into a scene akin to Hiroshima, with only chimney stacks visible.
Further west, Sandy pounded Cleveland, Ohio, uprooting trees, closing schools, and flooding major roads along Lake Erie.
One expert in natural disaster recovery, said that the biggest problem is NOT the first few days, but the coming months.
With close to $30 billion in lost business, that will have a marked impact on an otherwise strained economy.
Here's the link from FOX News (with related videos):
We can only wish those who have suffered the storm our best, and hope they can band together, as people often do, to aid one another.
The cleanup and rebuilding from this "Frankenstorm" will be with us for some time.
*** Yes, it's Halloween...AGAIN.
And that means our house will not be handing out (free) candy to any kids that come calling.
Now, before you all go and call me "that nasty old man at the corner", you have to remember that I don't do ANYTHING without a REASON.
My reason here is that any kids that DO live in the area are products of their "parents"...or whoever is charged with raising them.
And that means these kids have little, if ANY sense of normalcy attached to their costumed butts.
They toss litter all over all year, disrespect you all the time, scream at the tops of their lungs whenever they're outside (why, I have no freaking idea), rarely bring ANY books home from school, have cell phones melded to either their ears or palms, and pretty much expect that the world will owe them a living, just as that parent does.
To ME, that's not a prerequisite for my handing out anything...except advice on how to be a BETTER person as they grow up.
And since they can't place that in their "treat-bag", they get no candy - that's the way it's going to roll here.
Besides, I see my share of CLOWNS, FREAKS, and ZOMBIES damn near every single day...and THEY are all "government-sponsored".
I see those dressed as rappers, hookers, bums...you name it. And not one of THEM ever comes to our door asking for candy.
(they're too busy spending YOUR money on free stuff for THEM anyway)
That's why we see new cars with huge rims and deafening stereos from people that DON'T WORK.
(yes, the street corner pharmaceutical trade is thriving, too)
Used to be that the kids that came to the door on Halloween were GOOD kids...kids that delivered your paper, ran errands, cut your lawn, babysat your toddlers...yeah, THOSE kids. The ones that COULD be trusted to do the right thing...and a good job, whatever they attempted.
Some of these kids were in the boy scouts or girls scouts, were model students who did something called homework, and studied for tests.
They dressed as young men and ladies, and not in a disheveled manner, even if they didn't have that much money in their households.
They respected anyone older than them, were polite and mannerly, and were often prone to helping someone else.
Yeah, whatever happened to THOSE children, and why didn't their children and grandchildren follow suit?
If they DID, we'd be hip-deep in people with a more civil tongue and a more moral mindset, wouldn't we?
At least they DO have the "Great Pumpkin" on TV tonight, but Wifey and I will be watching the DVD of Garfield's Halloween Adventure...much better fare, trust me.
And once again, here are "Bob's 8 simple rules for Halloween":
Rule #1: You show up WITHOUT a costume....you have TWO choices:
a) You can just turn around and LEAVE, or (my favorite) ...
b) Show me you're WORTHY of my free candy WITHOUT a costume by jumping through the FLAMING HOOPS I have set up on my lawn, OK? If the folks can't blow TEN bucks to get you SOME kind of costume (and dressing in mom's old clothes could bring up gender confusion issues, even though it's FREE), then just spend TWO bucks for some of your OWN candy (**hint: after the 31st, ALL the HALLOWEEN candy is 50% OFF...check Walgreens and CVS)!
Rule #2: If you're OLDER than say....12 years old, you better either have a DAMN GOOD (original) costume, or you better have the mental state of a 3 year old. Either one will get you treats! Anything else will get you a front door closed in your pre-pubescent face! If you're THAT old...just stop at Lassus Handy-Dandy and grab a bag of M&Ms for yourself, lazy-ass!
Rule #3: Facepaint ALONE does NOT a costume make....Even SOLDIERS wear a UNIFORM WITH their facepaint, and Indians have horses and head-dresses.....so...NO horse, NO head-dress...NO treats, Kimosabi!
Rule #4: If you are coming to my house on Hallowe'en with a BUNCH of friends...be advised, I WILL be "packing" (to politely dissuade you from a home invasion)! And if you're dressed as either BATMAN or the PUNISHER, I might want to hire you to clean up my neighborhood.
Rule #5: Don't try taking a "short cut" across MY lawn to cross the street (the barbed wire and punji sticks I have up will do a real number on your legs and feet...trust me)! Better to stay ON the sidewalk that the city provided with all those tax-payer dollars!
Rule #6: DO NOT show up at the house as a ZOMBIE, LIVING-DEAD person, or some sort of analogous entity (Yes, I DO headshots real well). If I EVER want to see the living dead (aside from a George Romero flick), all I have to do is watch damn near ANY politician in D.C., or ALL of the non-working "neighbors on the dole" that have NO future (past the next bottle of malt liquor or blunt, that is) meander through their pitiful lives.
Rule #7: When I ask you to take what you want from the huge bowl of candy, that DOES NOT MEAN grab every damn single piece OF candy.....taking EVERYTHING should NEVER be a choice...it means be SELECTIVE...others might want to drop on by, 'K?
Rule #8: If you don't like what we GIVE (free) to you, don't even think about retaliatory measures....I've already PLANNED for THAT contingent...(heh, heh, heh)...and you might not like the result!
(and did I mention NO ELMOS and LADY GAGAS)
So there you have it...the only way to end the month of October (imho).
Do watch your trick-or-treaters outside tonight..keep them close and make sure they don't wander about.
(this only pertains to nicer neighborhoods and not OUR area, mind you.)
Be well, make a difference to someone, and...
Stay SAFE out there, America.


CWMartin said...

Though I've seen Bob's Rules before, I musta missed the zombie part. Couldn't agree more.

We don't give out candy- combo of a) lazyness, b) too expensive, and c)Scrappy going nuts every few minutes ain't worth it.

Got your answer from yesterday, but still not sure I agree with the Bounty even being out there. No matter how far from the projected track, they still had a LOT of warning.

Bob G. said...

When Wifey and I first moved here (1997), we actually had a GOOD Halloween...we gave out candy by the BOWLS!
Hell, I even dug out my Starfleet costume to hand the stuff out...the kids LOVED that.

And our one (former) neighbor across the street used to prop himself outside the house like a stuffed scarecrow and SCARE THE BEJEEZUS outta the kids...That was COOL!
They got LOTS of candy there.
Another former neighbor brought by his daughters (from his 1st marriage) and we handed out candy to them as well.
It USED to be reall nice...

These days...nowhere close to being something to look forward to at all.

Scrappy going nuts...LOL.
Guess that wears real thin...REAL fast.

Re: The Bounty...I can't imagine WHY they didn't TRY to make it to SOMEPLACE along the coast...plenty of locations to put in and ride the storm out from there.
Losing whatever power they had Sunday night didn't help one bit.

Hey, thanks for stopping on by today and commenting.

Stay safe (and don't loose Scrappy on the critters tonight) up there.

John DuMond said...

"...rarely bring ANY books home from school..."

Meanwhile, my daughter's book bag is so heavy, I can barely lift it. What's up with that?

Have a happy and safe Halloween, Bob.

Bob G. said...

John D.:
Yeah, I was like your daughter...
Mom bought me something that looked like a frigging suitcase...with a lock clasp, and after I loaded THAT bugger up, it was about FORTY (plus) POUNDS...and no straps to carry it on your back...IN YOUR HANDS!
(To quote the Punisher: "helluva workout"...lol)

Enjoy your MOVIE tonight!

And thanks for rolling up today and commenting.

Stay safe (no tricks) out there.

gadfly said...


Those Yellow Cabs are swimming in Hoboken, not NYC.

I am stopping by to predict that the virtual takedown of mass transport in, out and among the Burroughs and on Manhattan Island will bring about an exodus from New York, much as was seen in Nawlins after Katrina.

Companies have been moving from high-priced digs in the City for years, so I expect temporary offices in Jersey, Connecticut and Upstate NY will become permanent.
Big salaried executives hate the huge NYC income tax.

We will talk again in about a year on this subject. I think that a million people will leave.

Mrs. Crankipants said...

Love your rules with the exception of #2. I don't mind teenagers - but they HAVE to have a good costume. If they show up at my door with just a pillowcase, there's no way they're getting the good stuff - it's why God invented Dum Dum pops. My kid is twelve and he can go out for Halloween as long as I can stand upright and hold a hot glue gun. http://willceau.com/news/2012/10/31/pinball-wizard/

Also - I'd like to add Rule #9 - NO TRADING. You may not negotiate a trade - ie. the sleeve of Ritz crackers you got down the street for another Kit Kat bar. Another thing, (Rule #10) - you get what I give you. If I toss a Butterfinger into your bag, and you ask if I have Peanut M&Ms instead - I will chase your ass down the street with a chainsaw. You're getting free candy - don't be a jerk!

-Mrs. C

Bob G. said...

Yeah, I KNOW the cabs are in HOBOKEN...but they "live and work" in NYC...lol.
After all, it's only right across the river.

I'm with you w/ the "exodus" gig...I can see it becasue NY'ers are pissed the hell off with Nanny Bloomberg and his "rules"...this storm just added fuel to THAT fire.

If memory serves, NYC has some of THE most expensive property per sq. ft. in the whole COUNTRY!
And there's really nowhere to go...but UP at this point...or OUT (of town).

NYC could stand to lose a mil...then we'll see how MUCH REVENUE comes in when it's needed...same old story, different city, hmm?

I'll be looking forward to meeting with you in one year...LOL.

In the meantime, thanks for stopping by and commenting.

Stay safe (and informed) out there.

Bob G. said...

Mrs. C:
I dunno...maybe "teenagers" was a bit vague...how about anyone OVER the age of say...FOURTEEN???

And yes, a GOOD costume is required!

I like your add-on rules...definitely NO "swapsies"!

And you DO take whatever we give you...you want a "selection"?
...Head to Walgreens, bub!

Thanks much for stopping by today to comment, and bringing a smile here.
Always a pleasure.

Stay safe (and upright) out there.

Mrs. Crankipants said...

Bob, if I may, I'd like to add Rule #11:

Don't pull the "Can I have a piece of candy for my little brother/sister who a) is sick in the hospital b) was run over by a Septa bus c) was born without limbs and can't hold a candy pail."

Judging from the bulging knapsack and the overstuffed pillowcase you're carrying - it appears that you have enough of a haul to share with your imaginery sibling.

Bob G. said...

Mrs C.:
Oh, for sure there is absolutely NO "Trick-or-Treat BY PROXY!

(even IF we DO KNOW how bad those SEPTA bus drivers are, right?)
God, I miss the PTC!

Good call.

Stay safe, dear.