Humpday Happenings...

But I'm NOT giving up the coffee.

Another nice day for our midweek crisis we call Wednesday, here in the Heartland...
I prefer to take my crises as they come, which can be numerous some days.
More about that in a minute.
Our Hoosierland weather will again see us with mostly SUNNY skies, and temps reaching to around the 80-degree mark.
So, there's not much to say about that, is there?
I'm sure today will be better than yesterday...and you'll find out why soon enough.
Alright then, let's get our morning beverages poured as I guide you on another journey down the rabbit hole.
And this won't be just another trip to Wonderland. I promise that much.
*** First out of the teacup is our WHO SAID THAT? quote of the week:
"Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away."
Now, with these debates coming up as well as in our everyday lives, this seems like it should hit close to home.
So, WHO said that anyway? The answer at the top of tomorrow's post.
Meanwhile, back in Memphis, Tennessee...
*** Next, is our "What the hell happens today, Bob?" feature:
August 5 -
---Today is WORK LIKE A DOG DAY

"...and I just get byyy...."

Wow, now THERE'S a blast from the past - "working class dog".
Hell, doesn't anyone working who's worth their weight in paychecks do that?
Yeah, well some do, and some don't (the paper guy).
---It's also NATIONAL UNDERWEAR DAY

(so much for going "Commando", hmm?)
---And, it's NATIONAL OYSTER DAY.

(never on the half shell - gimme oyster STEW)
Just SHUCK IT.
I'm going to take the day off from all the crime and other crap that's going on, and with that, we return you to the in-flight movie "Bobby G's Not-So-Excellent Adventure".
*** Okay, so Tuesday started off innocently enough...but the paper was on our walkway and NOT on the top step (where it is supposed to be). And TODAY, the carrier is 0-3...and his car stereo was booming (before 0600 hrs) - so much for signing THIS shit-for-brains up to a ball club), so I called a complaint in AGAIN. Freaking loser. But I digress...
Back to yesterday -  after feeding the neighbor's cat, I decided on making some BLUEBERRY PANCAKES (had some fresh blueberries waiting for the opportunity to tickle my taste-buds).

THIS was the "plan"...soon to go awry.

This began well enough...EXCEPT that the damn griddle I was using decided to adhere itself TO the pancake...on a semi-permanent basis.
That makes it kinda hard to turn OVER, and this pissed me right the hell off.
I broke one spatula in HALF when I smacked it on the pan in disgust (and had to toss TWO pancake attempts the hell out.
This has NEVER happened before...did the laws of PHYSICS change when I was asleep?
I already KNOW I'm living on BIZARRO WORLD.

Gotta love military jargon...HA!

I got another pan and tried a THIRD time, and luckily (for the pan as well as other breakables around the kitchen) THIS one WORKED.
I got to have ONE pancake from the batter I made - actually it was more like what my Father would call a COLLISION MAT - what the navy uses to plug a small hole in a ship's hull...LOL.
Yeah, it was over 6 inches in diameter, and tasted good enough, but I had this feeling it was going to be one of THOSE days.
Didn't have to wait long for the "fun" to continue...
Wifey left to take care of her classroom at school, so I went out to the garage to get a picture of my car.

I need SEVERAL of THESE...

I just wiped it down with a new shammy Wifey got me for Christmas, and figured it looks good, so "what the hell".
Now, to get the whole car in the picture, I had to lower the loft ladder down, climb up and take a "panorama" shot (2 pics).
Halfway up the ladder, the unthinkable happened - the STEP all my weight was on BROKE OUT FROM UNDER ME!!!.

The scene of the crime - now fixed

A LOT can happen in mere seconds, and I was fortunate that my head didn't swing back down and strike the concrete floor.
I'd hate to have to repair broken concrete....
My BDU pants were torn to hell (they took the brunt of the damage), my right knee got a decent gash (not deep enough to require stitches, and my ankle got a severe brush burn from my socks.
Also got some bumps and bruises to the lower back, elbow, other knee and thigh, but all in all...a survivable experience.
I mean I HAVE already fallen through a ceiling (a couple lifetimes ago)...
THIS was "child's play"...LOL.
Anyway, I DID get the picture...AND fixed the offensive step on said ladder, using some long SCREWS instead of the damn NAILS that were in there before.
Screws are better hardened and will not "bend" and come out as easily.
I also used some wood GLUE to hold things together.
All in all, a good fix for the time being.
Tested it and no problems.

The picture turned out well. Not bad for a spliced photo

After that, I went in, cleaned up the wounds, dressed them and called it...A DAY...!
Wifey was a bit upset when she got home and showed her the "results" of my labors.
I told her I had NO way of knowing that step would fail as abruptly as it did...no warning whatsoever.
Sometimes, things happen that way...no way to avoid them.
You just have to rely on training, prior events, and a chronic penchant for survival.
One of the FIRST things we learned in marital arts classes was HOW TO FALL.
Sure, it's easy enough to learn how to cripple people, break bones, and the like, but if YOU don't know how to humbled FIRST by picking your ass up off of a mat, then you're already at a disadvantage.
And YES, there is a PROPER way to fall...a method by which you redirect the force across your body to minimize damage to any ONE part.
It works...every time...even when a ladder step breaks under your feet.
Still have my "spider-reflexes"...now, if ONLY I could get back my spider-SENSES...heh.
*** Last back to the house of cards...every day presents challenges that come right up and smack us all in the puss.

That should be GOSPEL!

That's what life is all about.
And sometimes, you cannot plan ahead for them, as they they occur with such speed, taking us by surprise.
The key is to always prepare for "something"...the whole being AWARE of a given situation.
Now, this doesn't mean lying awake at night cogitating every single possibility to every single situation in life...that's pointless.
What we all need to do is become focused enough at whatever task we have at-hand, and realize that this guy MURPHY has this set of "laws" that he loves to toss at us whenever he has the chance.
Does what happened to me yesterday constitute a learning experience?
Yasureyoubetcha!
I've learned to be more wary of inspecting things that might require inspection, and the make sure they are safe to use.
When complacency overrides safety, shit WILL happen, make no mistake.
A focused approach to anything in life is always the best way to proceed.
"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure", was the old expression, and it can be anything from a stupid ladder step to the future of our country.
It's all interrelated in some way, shape or form.
And it's the best way to get through any day.

Be well, make a difference to someone, and...
Stay SAFE out there, America.