06 November 2006

How Can I Top That?

After reading the positive comments on the last post, I found myself in a bit of a quandry. I thank those that felt that what I had to say not only needed to be said, but that I mirrored in some manner what THEY think as well. Yet my problem remained...how can I best myself in my writing prowess?

Then it hit me...I don't have to best myself...I'm a CURMUDGEON...LOL!

I don't rightly know WHEN it happened...I imagine somewhere along my trek through this life, something struck me, bit me, hit me, tripped me, or maybe even kicked me in the ass...but there "it" was...

But what exactly was "it", you ask?

The signs of being a curmudgeon...I had them.

Now I would be the first to tell you that being a curmudgeon isn't all that bad, really. You say what you feel, don't care too much about what others might think (unless they think the same), and approach things from there basal aspects. You look at things in black and white...screw all this "gray area crap"...that's for those that can't see the forest for the trees. And although many would see us as chronic complainers, we actually ONLY gripe about things that NEED griping about. We just gripe a lot more often, and many see that as confusing to them. We don't piss & moan for "pissing & moaning sake"...oh no...we do it with a purpose. We do it because if WE don't...who the hell else will?

After doing some research into my new-found "curmidgeonness", I'm sure as hell NOT alone...there is a curmudgeon handbook, curmudgeon music, curmudgeon ale, curmudgeon movies, and even curmudgeonly attire (no, it's NOT high-waisted plaid pants). There is even a "curmudgeon.com" now. Seems I've fallen into a much larger club than I could have ever imagined.

There are curmudgeons for EVERY holiday, and every venue. There are SERIOUS curmudgeons and comedic curmudgeons. They come in all shapes, sizes, races, religions, and political affiliations. We're kind of everywhere...and into pretty much everything and anything.
So what were my telltale signs of "curmudgeonism"?

I started to pay a lot more attention to the nuances in life...all those things that most everyone else glosses over becasue they're in some dumb-ass hurry to do something they don't want to do in the first place, but have to do it because if they don't someone else probably will, and then they'll look like a smacked ass in the process. Yeah, that about sums it up nicely. Think of that "stop and smell the roses" gig...only I now purchase and plant and raise those roses SO I can smell them.

I started seeing a lot of things for what they REALLY were...like the media...and politics...and the judicial system. Severely flawed as they are, they DO bear scrutiny if we are to evolve as a species, rather than DEVOLVE into some hedonistic anarchy, replete with every debauchery there is. THAT is the curmudgeon in me talking...lol!

I began to really care about things others don't seem to all that much...like litter....and speeding....and making sure every bulb that came with my car WORKS...ALL the time, unlike all those I see around me that could care less in their pursuit of the next transitory fad that would pass along by next week. I don't carry a BLACKBERRY...I pick mine off the bush and eat them with with my cereal...! Curmudgeons might be tech-savvy, but we only embrace it when we have no other option. We might not own the newest car, but by God, we know EVERY noise it's supposed to (and not supposed) to make, and can find EVERY screw, bolt and cog ON that car, so we don't need a legion of computer geeks scratching their heads over WHY the "check engine" light won't go out on that *newer* vehicle...!

Curmudgeons think that the ONLY way to fight any war is to FIGHT TO WIN! We think anyone that defaces our flag should be "defaced" as well. Curmudgeons think tattoos only belong on NAVY / MARINE personnel. We're not auditioning lead roles for a remake of THE ILLUSTRATED MAN, people. Body piercings belong in the sideshows, next to the fire eater, the wolf-boy and the bearded lady. Curmudgeons like to work, and hate seeing their jobs go overseas or south of the border. The ONLY thing that should go overseas are EXPORTS from THIS nation (and troops stationed at bases there). Curmudgeons hate people that do nothing all day, every day while others bust their humps making a living. Funny thing that, seeing as many curmudgeons are retired and DO find things to do all day, every day anyway.

And one major thing every curmudgeon begins to realize...their MORTALITY. When you're a "young turk" of about 22, you have NO concept of the end of life (unless you wrap your car around a utility pole at 80 mph in a drunken stupor, in which time you have all of about .025 seconds to "think" about it). When you can say you have more years BEHIND you than in FRONT of you....you think about things...a LOT. When you attend funerals for more relatives AND friends than you'd ever dream of....you think even more. And when you look in the mirror every morning...does the face staring back seem less familiar?

Many think being a curmudgeon is nothing more than a old, stodgy fogey with complaints issuing from every orifice of his (or her) body. I will admit that it's part of it, but there is the traditionalist, the idealist, the rebel, and even the pragmatist aspect of being a curmudgeon...we just happen to take all those things, mash 'em about a bit...and make it WORK for us, that's all.

Still, after all is said and done, I wouldn't want to trade my curmudgeon status for anything (right now)...it's the correct place to be at THIS point in my life. In many ways, life itself has a meaning that transcends the "here and now" rhetorical babble we are bombarded with daily. Live for the moment they say.....forget the future...it's not here yet, and might never arrive. I say think about it...long and hard. Take measures to make your time here humanly productive in the long run. Think about things that NEED it...dismiss those that don't.

The future might not be here YET...but rest assured...it IS coming.


Jana said...

"Curmudgeons think tattoos only belong on NAVY / MARINE personnel."

Tattoos are OK on ARMY personnel too, right?

*whisper* David has 3 *whisper*

B.G. (Semper Paratus) said...

Well...if they HAVE to have a few....let's just say "service personnel" in general, OK?


Jana said...