Sunrise...Sunset....

Now before you go thinking this is a revival of Fiddler On The Roof...think again.

Life on (or in) the SOUTH side of Fort Wayne becomes a study of extremes after a time.

As others mill about their hectic or otherwise interesting daily routines, we down here (who still maintain a modicum of sanity and still recall what it means to act like a human being) ascribe to THREE simple rules, which you already may be aware of:

1) Get up.
2) Survive.
3) Go to bed.
(and we repeat as necessary)

Now while many would view this as being banal, those dwindling numbers of "us" believe we've found a nice balance to our lives. Well, it DOES work.

Whenever those of you who are lucky enough to live in areas that don't suffer from the problems we deal with daily down here step out your front doors...stop, pause for a minute or two to look around, take a deep breath and know that there ARE some people who struggle with the most common aspects of life, simply because the Barbarians are at their gates every waking moment.
But it could be worse for us...it could be Gary, Indiana...or Detroit...or even Indy.

Funny thing is, we CHOSE to live where we do.

What we DID NOT have the luxury of choosing is how the CITY ignored this part of town for SO long, allowing all those wonderful aspects of ghetto living to pervade our lives.
We didn't choose to have our neighborhoods become rental slums.
We didn't choose to live near people who have little regard for anything or anyone.
We didn't choose to let crime move in down the block.
We didn't choose to be fearful of taking a walk outside our homes.
We didn't choose to see businesses leave in droves.
We didn't choose to be denied sleep thanks to uncaring morons.
We didn't choose to be intimidated on a daily basis.

The city chose these things FOR US long before we knew what they were doing.

I know this sounds like I'm on the old SOAPBOX with this, but whenever we drive somewhere ELSE to shop...or eat...or whatever else we have to do (because we don't have the resources down HERE to do it), we find it amazing that this city can be so wonderfully polarized, meaning that we have just as much garbage at one end of the scale as we have niceties at the other. Now that's not to say that we should spread some of the crap around to nicer areas, making THEM worse, but rather get the city's ass in gear to turn back around the areas that have seen nothing but neglect for over a decade, making THESE areas BETTER.

I'm also a firm believer that ONE MAN CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE (or one woman for that matter), but there DOES come a time when the old "energy level" hits that nasty *E*, like your car's fuel gauge, only we can't just dash over to a Marathon or BP and tank back up. One person cannot affect this kind of change alone, nor should they.

I would like to think that there ARE others around my part of Fort Wayne that feel as I do, and want to affect positive change. Trouble is...I'm just not seeing (or hearing) them. And no one is banging down MY door to offer assistance.
I liken this to being in a combat zone 24/7 without relief...without reinforcements. And this "tour of duty" is seemingly endless. After a time, it does begin to weigh on a person, and I'm certainly no "Superman" when it comes to being immune to that (wish to hell I was some days...lol).

The worst part to all of this is not necessarily the constant vigilance on my part (remember those Barbarians...and that gate?), nor is it the fact that whenever we do go somewhere else, I'm always hopeful (make that very concerned) that our house will be RIGHT where we left it, and INTACT...not burned to the ground by some arsonist, or burglarized by a druggie up the street. Days blur into weeks, and those weeks into months, and the months into years. Suddenly you find you've been banging your head against "the wall" for TEN years (or more) to TRY and make things livable for raising a family, and getting on with what life is left to you. People ask why you do it (the head-banging -wall-thing), and you reply "I can't help it...It feels so good when I stop".

The worse part is that very FEW people actually do anything to change this situation. There is little (if any) ACCOUNTABILITY, so do whatever the hell you want to anyone else for as long as you wish. We (the city) might get around to dealing with it (and you)...eventually (we're too busy making a damn nice DOWNTOWN). And forget having any PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY...that's for normal people. They apparently LIKE the status quo...don't touch a damn thing...change nothing. Sorry, but NORMAL people don't act that way, nor do they "settle" for less when more can be achieved.

So if this blog (from time to time...or maybe every other day) takes a jab here and a poke there at the city, you've got to realize that I've got a major BEEF with the manner in which THIS part of town has been (and is still being) treated. Some might say I've got a chip on my shoulder...nah...more like a bloody REDWOOD!

Hey, at least that's ONE thing I never have to hear people say to me...

("Where's the Beef?")
I got yer beef...right HERE!

And if there is ONE thing I can take from all of this...it's the fact that I had great parents, relatives and friends who encouraged and nurtured my sense of humor.

That has gone a LONG way to keep me from becoming schizophrenic over the years.

So I'm STILL doing OK in that regard...

(and so am I).