08 June 2012

Believe It, Or Else - (Friday Edition)

Joe Friday decided he wanted the week off, so we gave it to him.
 And, yes, time again for some of the oddest stuff you'll find this side of the Maumee.
...and all points south.
We're headed back into the hot temps today...expected to climb into the upper 80s.
This Saturday and Sunday - gonna be in the 90s.
Naturally, this will have absolutely no bearing on the number and loudness of the acoustic assholes we'll be hearing thumping past our "Fortress" over the next 72 hours,...it never does these days, thanks to insufficient "resources" to properly address such a quality-of-life issue.
In other words...ordinances that have as much bite as a toothless hound dog.
But, we won't allow that to get us down (much), because there ARE a few things to take a gander at this morning.
So, let's get rolling...
*** This article is one of those wonderful "WTF?" moments...and you'll understand why after reading it.
Here's the link:
Yes, you read that link CORRECTLY...LOL!
Leave it to the UK to find this story that was pretty much IGNORED here in the USA.
(wonder why? Could it be those oppressive whites being silenced AGAIN for pointing out the obvious here?)
The article calls her "morbidly obese" and I will admit that "she got some SERIOUS meat on dem bones".
(( DAMN!))
Makes you wonder how LARGE that "purse" of hers was when those beer CANS (yes, plural) came tumbling out.
Now, she couldn't afford to PAY for all the items she took (or wouldn't) BUT, she DID have money to buy the PEPPER SPRAY she used on store employees...imagine that.
Priorities a tad off, toots?
Lonneshia Shafaye Appling (had to be an "eisha" in there somewhere) ALSO had 5 packets of cheese, 8 Coors Light (?) beers, 5 packages of bacon and vegetable oil among her "stash"...what, no "Parttridge in a frigging pear tree" to go with all that sh*t? (don't wanna know WHERE she placed her haul, either...ewww)
How much you want to bet she's being "funded" by the taxpayers?
(well, she is NOW, being in jail and all...on outstanding warrants in THREE other GA counties).
She told police to add whatever charges they wanted to, because she would "plea out" and half the charges would be dropped anyway.
She did offer some cautionary advice that workers: "...shouldn't chase people like that because they could get hurt"
Only if you SIT on them, sweetheart...ONLY if you sit on them.
Maybe a nice PRISON WORK PROGRAM would get her to trim down a smidgen...just a thought.
Yes friends, YOUR tax dollars at work...and now incarcerated.
*** This story is kinda funny, from a science fiction POV.
Here's the link:
Indiana BP workers found two DEAD monkeys in a crate of valves that was shipped from down south, where it sat for a year after it was first shipped from India (where they obviously don't care WHO crawls into cargo containers).
Two (dead monkeys)...hmm...add ANOTHER TEN, and you''d have a pretty decent MOVIE on your hands...just ask Bruce Willis.
Bet'cha it smelled REALLY good, too...NOT!
But maybe it was the "quality control" inspectors that took that unscheduled "trip".
Yep, parts so clean, they're UNTOUCHED BY HUMAN HANDS...LOL!
*** Now, if THIS wouldn't make normal dinner guests HOPPING MAD, I don't know WHAT would.
Here's the link:
Now, I tend to be like MOST folks...I like my meal to be relatively DEAD, as in deceased...unmoving...no longer flailing about on my plate.
And usually WELL DONE...char that bad boy!
Never was into the "swallowing goldfish" gig...or eating live bugs either.
Hell, I don't even like sushi!
Others...a lot more so.
Remind me to make a note of that if I EVER get to Japan...
*** This is a case of having too much of a good thing...and that's dependent upon what you consider to be "good".
Here's the story link:
Seems that using an abundance of BODY SPRAY can be enough to set off a school FIRE ALARM...what will they think of next (to get out of class)?
If you AXE me, I think that such items need not be a part of the "after-shower" regimen in high schools.
A can of Right Guard is plenty...you don't need to smell like a French whore house...from several blocks away.
*** I'm all for helping those that need help, and often donate to charities that warrant it, like the Wounded Warrior Project, but then, something like THIS comes along:
Okay, so HOW are these rats getting "paralyzed" anyway?
They don't LOOK like they''ve been in theater (can't get helmets THAT small anyway)...or were struck by a driver who was texting, or even were the victim of a drug deal shooting in my part of the ghettohood.
So what gives anyway?
Yeah, I know...they ALWAYS use lab rats to TEST things before they gravitate to HUMANS..but, chocolate?
I thought we humans already had the whole chocolate thing nailed down...who knew?
Now this "cocktail" of electro-chemical stimulus (not to be confused with Obama's FAILED stimulus) and chocolate seems to show promise for mildly-paralyzed rats...
Okay, so how does one become MILDLY paralyzed?
I thought that once you're numb...that's pretty much it.
Is that like being "slightly" pregnant?
Only time will tell...I suppose.
*** Lastly today, it's always good to take a break from ALL the crap that goes on around us, for Lord knows we have way too much of it.
And once in a while, we need to step back, get away from all the stuff flying at us, and take a frigging break.
If that means we allow ourselves to laugh a bit at humanity, and some of it's insanity...so be it.
If it means we get to take in nature with a bit more intensity, that works for me, too.
We need to do such things if only to allay our own fears that perhaps WE are not in as bad a shape as we thought we were.
After that, we should decide to do something with that knowledge...something positive.
In life's journey, if you're paying attention, there will almost never be a day where you will say that you wasted it.
There is simply too much to take in...and most all of it is free.
Can't argue with THOSE prices in THIS economy...can you?
Be well, make a difference to someone today, and as always...
Stay SAFE out there, America.


CWMartin said...

Believe me, Bob, there isn't a living thing made by God that can't become addicted to chocolate. I can give you a dwarf hamster and at least to dogs to show mas evidence.

And as for big mama, I also know that Brits enjoy pointing out our foibles as much as we enjoy toasting them on theirs.

Bob G. said...

Hamster and a DOG????

Wow, all we need is SQUIRRELS ON COFFEE...and we'll REALLY be screwed...LOL!
(BTW, I already have bunnies and birds on stale suger/cinnamon cake donuts...how can I get a gov't GRANT to study THEIR reactions?)

As to "Miss Congeniality"...
She looks a lot like a LOT of the females we see on the dole down HERE in the ghettohood.

Suppose they're ALL related?
(quick, check Wal-Mart's security videos for missing BACON and BOOZE)

Love to see her TASED...
(must be jelly cause JAM don't shake like that...ROFLMAO!!!)

I'm in one of THOSE moods today...too obvious, huh?

Hey, thanks a lot for dropping on by today and commenting.

You stay safe up there.

Mrs. Crankipants said...

A couple of years ago, I saw this woman at the grocery store pick up an entire wrapped ham off the shelf, lift up her dress, and then she put the ham between her legs and tried to walk out of the store.

She got as far as the cashier's line and almost made it out the door when the ham fell out from under her dress onto the floor for everyone to see. Instead of just walking like hell out of the store she turned around, flared her nostrils and started screaming "WHO THREW THAT HAM AT ME? I didn't steal no ham!" She caused such a huge scene that the manager came out and took her into the back room to talk to her.

Funniest thing ever!

Bob G. said...

Mrs. C.:
How's it going?
Long time, no "see"...

God, that HAM story is funny...kinda mahes me want to change my menu for Easter next year...LOL!

I had a case when working with store security for Circuit City.
Woman was stealing CDs under her shirt...where she ALSO had a balloon and "tried" unsuccessfully to say she was "pregnant" (she was black...imagine that).

One officer commented when he removed the balloon:
"Congratulations...it's GREEN".

Some people just think they're not doing ANYTHING wrong..like they're "entitled" to do it.

(did I say that? I was thinking out loud)

Hey, thanks so much for taking time to drop by today.
Don't be a stranger.

You take care and stay safe out there.