28 June 2012

If It's Thursday in Indiana...

It MUST be some kind of record-breaking day...well, that's what we're being told.
It's barely past 0730 hrs, and I ALREADY turned on the central A/C, have well-watered ALL the plants that would otherwise wilt in the heat, and fed the critters, who also seemed to have awakened early to get THEIR stuff out of the way.
Today's post is going to focus on this oppressive heat (slated to top the 100 degree mark), but before we tackle that, we've got a few things to take care of, such as THESE:
*** First up, the answer to yesterday's WHO SAID THAT? quote:
"Bad news is not like fine wine...it does not improve with age."
(ain't THAT the truth)
This quote is attributed to General Creighton Abrams as it appeared in PARAMETERS, 1987.
And we all know which US main battle tank was named after the General...don't we?
(well, you better)
Meanwhile, back at the assembly area...
*** An update to that midday shooting near downtown at the East Central Towers apartment complex.
Here's the skinny on what REALLY happened (as opposed to what was first reported by the media):
Yep, ANOTHER case of some dumbasses PLAYING with a firearm...with the USUAL RESULT!
Lying to the police.,..how pathetic and typical of such morons.
I keep saying, it's NOT about "gun control"...it's the PEOPLE who are f$cking the hell up and making it bad for the REST of us that DO practice something called RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR with items that can inflict harm to others...like GUNS!
And this happened with a f$cking REVOLVER, for God's sake...you can actually SEE the rounds in the chambers...
This has got to be a perfect storm of SOCIAL DARWINISM...
Trogs playing with guns...can't get a damn JOB, or be an otherwise PRODUCTIVE citizen, BUT can sure suck down the gov't freebies and find time to play with guns in the middle of the damn day.
Maybe they should ONLY sell specific TYPES of guns to such idiots...ones that can't harm OTHERS...just the moron squeezing the trigger.
Just a thought. (and a damn good one, too)
It would be a novel way of decreasing the surplus (welfare and ghetto) population, and make life safer in general for damn near everyone else...right?
We won't know until we give it a go.
*** Fort Wayne receives a DESERVED award (for a change).
Here's the story:
http://www.journalgazette.net/article/20120627/BLOGS01/120629598/1002/local
Now, we here at the "Fortress" have been doing this gig since it was first rolled out, and we're pretty much with MOST of the city doing this...no big deal to us...then again, we're GIVE A DAMN kinda folks,...unlike the "locals" living around us.
Check the blog archives back on 17 Nov 2010, 27 Jan 2012, or 23 Mar 2012 for the lowdown and how MY part of the ghettohood fares (not all that well, except for us and some others).
Just so's you know the truth.
This award is a good deal, and speaks MUCH to the ability of Solid Waste Manager MATT GRATZ.
He was taught proper (by Dawn Ritchie) and ran with it from there, proving that there ARE some city departments that DO provide excellent service and do the right thing for the right reason...
Congrats, Matt...you EARNED it!
Job well done, my friend!
*** Now, about this HEAT...
((...ahem...))
How hot is it, Bob?
Well, you KNOW it's REALLY hot outside when:
-- Your car is overheating before you even START it!
-- The runway at the airport is BUBBLING!
-- You get HOTTER water from the COLD tap than from the HOT one.
-- The dashboard on your Toyota is melting.
-- The swans at the local park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy".
-- The strawberries are ripe and the "neighbors" are RIPER!
-- You're getting HOT FLASHES...and you're a GUY!
-- The politicians take their hands out of your pockets to FAN THEMSELVES.
-- You wear welding gloves to open your car door.
-- Small birds are spontaneously combusting.
-- The hummingbird nectar has turned 80 proof!
-- Lawyers start killing themselves because it's cooler in HELL.
-- You need a spatula to get dressed OR undressed.
-- Pigs complain about sweating like humans.
-- The local community pool water begins to boil.
-- You find out that you CAN actually drive your car with TWO FINGERS.
-- Your computer won't work unless it has IT'S OWN A/C unit blowing on it.
-- Hot air balloons refuse to rise because the air outside is hotter than the air inside..
It's SO hot in fact, that...
-- Cows in Indiana are giving EVAPORATED milk.
-- Tress are whistling for DOGS!
-- You can make INSTANT "sunshine tea".
-- You eat cayenne peppers to COOL your mouth!
-- Farmers are feeding their chickens CRUSHED ICE to keep them from laying HARD-BOILED EGGS!
-- Birds are using pot holders to yank worms out of the ground.
And the BEST one yet...
-- Wifey is paying homeless people to SWEAT on our lawn!
*** Lastly today, a few helpful hints to make this neatwave a bit more tolerable:
-- if you don't HAVE to go outside...DON'T.
-- If you DO have to go outside...DON'T.
-- Keep the drapes pulled and the A/C on.
(if you have to sit around with a flannel shirt on...so what, YOU'RE paying for it...might as well enjoy it.)
-- Stay HYDRATED...drink plenty of fluids like water, Gatorade, or Powerade.
Lemonade is fine, as is Tang, or any kind of juice.
Soda is OK in moderation, but avoid caffeinated drinks and absolutely NO alcohol.
I've heard too many calls about drunks out there in the heat...BAD combo.
The alcohol will actually DEHYDRATE you FASTER...(word to the wise here).
-- And even if you're doing things around the house...TAKE YOUR TIME!
No task is worth suffering heat exhaustion over (unless you're trying to remove that farm tractor from your chest, but with such cases, you might want to call for a little help.)
-- And above all, remember your PETS (should you have any)...THEY feel the heat JUST as much, and don't sweat like humans do.
I dunno about YOU, but I can't imagine having to wear a FUR COAT all over and NOT being able to sweat in this heat...
You could always toss a pool party for the pets...whoever they might be.
With these tips, you will come out the other side of this hot spell none the worse for wear...
It's just much of what my folks used to tell me when I was growing up...and I suppose some of it DID manage to stick between the ears...LOL.
For, back in the day, we didn't have the luxury of CENTRAL AIR...or even window units...just FANS...and the milk truck that gave free ICE to us kids...now THAT was a great way to beat the heat...a six-year old with a chunk of ice that required TWO hands to carry...for FREE.
Didn't need a pool with all THAT cool water...ROFL!
In any event...pace yourselves, and take it easy.
Be well, make a difference to someone, and...
Stay SAFE out there, America.

4 comments:

CWMartin said...

-- if you don't HAVE to go outside...DON'T.

-- If you DO have to go outside...DON'T.

Exactly my thoughts, bob.

Treees whistling for dogs- lol!

Hunkered down in the icebox, Martin out.

Bob G. said...

Chris:
There's simply NO reason to NOT "chill out" today, as you put it...(in the icebox...lol)

That must be SOMNE good-size fridge you got there.

I'm just waiting to hear on the news where someone BURNED DOWN the house while GRILLING (or playing with fireworks)...'cause you just KNOW it's coming!

Thanks for sweating on by today and commenting.
All of you keep cool and stay safe up there.

John D. said...

"And we all know which US main battle tank was named after the General...don't we?"

The M1A1, best tank ever. There's nothing like a jet engine to get you for point A to point B in a hurry.

Stay cool, Bob. I'll be cranking my AC for the next few days, so I know how you feel.

Bob G. said...

John D.:
Right you are, sir.
Nothing can touch that baby (and few can even keep the hell UP with it)

As for the A/C?
Yasureyoubetcha, we're pursuing the "maximum effort" gig here...!

Just tell me you DON'T have a bear taking a soak in YOUR pool...ROFL!

Thanks for rolling on up today and commenting.

You stay EXTRA COOL (and safe) out there.